everyone is not like me
people like to have kids. why? not sure on that one yet. some people are in the same boat as me on the subject. and some of the people who feel the same way as i do just keep having sex and kids.
not everyone is meant to have children. some people are too young for them when they get pregnant. some people are just stupid and that will never change regardless of age. some people weren't parented well themselves and therefore will not be a good parent simply because they don't know how. but most people are just stupid and don't glove up before the love and haven't taken their bcp in over 3 days and are too drunk to worry about it in the heat of the moment.
my boyfriends sister fits in to one of those categories and i'm not concerned with which one. she is 30 and has two children. one (girl) is seven, the other (boy) 13. she lives at home with her two kids, her mother, her aunt, and her brother (my boyfriend). my bf and the aunt own the house together. they charge her something like 400 bucks a month to live there. her daughter doesn't have a bedroom and sleeps on the recliner while she sleeps on the couch. her son has my bf's own bedroom. the other bedrooms are occupied by the remaining family. she does not discipline her kids well at all. her son has a bibi gun i know i spelled that horribly wrong. he has a skateboard that says "fuckd up kids" on the underside. she lets him have friends over all the time, on school nights and whenever he wants. she buys her kids whatever they want whenever they want. her daughter whines all the time and she calls her a baby for doing so and never hugs her. she makes fun of her to her face and doesnt console her when that makes her cry. she certainly favors her son over her daughter. the only time ive seen her raise her voice is when her son gets too rough with her daughter, then she will say "joshua stop that". she leaves her kids with her mother while she works at a diner 4-5 days a week til like 2pm. her son walks all over his grandmother. theres really nothing his grandma can do to control him, physically or otherwise. he is the king of the house when his uncle (my bf) is not around and he knows it. he tells his aunt she is a bitch a slut a fatass and ugly and he never gets punished.
so i hope you get the jist.
the other day john and i were at the house for the kids bday party because both their bdays are in july they just had one party together. they each got seperate cakes and lots of presents. the adults had some beer. late in the night joshua decides it would be funny to hit his mom over the head with this life sized blown up guitar toy. his mom starts cracking up about it. she thinks its funny. since she thinks its funny everyone else laughs. then josh goes "how funny would it be if i hit cristina with it!" and i said that wouldnt be funny at all. i told him i would be upset if he did that and to please not do that. a few minutes later im talking with his sister and he does it. calmly (but pissed off inside) i tell him that if he does that one more time im going to be angry. he does it again. everyone in the household is watching this all play out and no one is telling him not to do that again. so i grab the kids wrist and drag him into his room (he is shorter than me even though hes 13. hes the smallest kid in his class). i walk out and hear him say im a fucking bitch and something about a slut. i sit and think for a half a second and try to open his door. he is sitting against it so i wont come in. so i open it enough to stick my head in and talk to him. i ask him why he said that. he said "i was saying that to maryanne (the aunt)" so i say "so you think that makes it okay? you can't just call people that. do you understand? that is very disrespectful. and when i tell you not to do something you dont do it. see now your pissed and the tables are turned. its not so great is it" he mumbles something about "go away". he is on the floor in a ball holding the door as shut as he can. i repeat something about respecting those around you whose house you live in and then i open the door enough to wedge him between the wall and the door and i say "i am bigger than you and i am stronger than you and i can beat the shit out of you anyday. so DONT piss me off EVER again" then i leave him alone. his sister drags me into the bathroom to tell scary stories with her friend legit RIGHT after i leave the room. she and her friend heard everything i said to him. the rest of the people at the party didnt hear everything i said i dont think. but NO ONE WENT IN TO TELL HIM WHAT HE DID AND WHAT HE SAID WAS WRONG!!! my heart was racing while i was in the bathroom with the girls, but i tried to seem like nothing was wrong. i told them i eventually had to go out and apologize to him if i scared him at all.
i went out to the kitchen where everyone else was sitting and talking and drinking and i went up to his sister and said quietly i gotta go apologize if i scared him at all. her aunt overheard me say that and starts talking about the kid in a normal volume about what happened. then martha (my bf's sister/the kids mom) goes "why are you talking about him. he can hear everything you are saying (directed towards her aunt) when joshua goes into his room like that and doesnt come out you dont follow him. he needs to be alone (directed at me)"
EXCUSE MEE!!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON!
thats what i wanted to say.
i wanted to tell her "oh so you just let the kid sit in there alone with his flat screen and his video games for however long he wants just to come out when hes cool'd down just to never talk to him about what he's done or said to a guest in your house?!?!" i should have punished her, not him! but i just kept silent.
later on he came out of his room and nothing was said to him by anyone about the incident. nothing about his behavior. I was yelled at for telling him vulgar words are wrong.
this isnt the first time ive been over their house. i stayed over a lot during the past couple years and i know he never gets scolded or told whats right or wrong.
i guess i just snapped.
i am never going over there again.
martha and i do not have the same idea of parenting. discipline is not in her vocabulary.
john and i got in an argument that night about why he didn't do anything to stick up for me. he said hes given up on that family. i understand why. i hate to say it but i really don't see his sister changing her ways. he daughter doesn't even have her own bedroom! if those kids stay at the rate they are going and get whatever material toys they ever want but never any love or boundaries, they will never be happy in life. they will never have meaningful relationships. they will never be happy, even if they think they are. it's terrible to say i know.
it's a damn shame's what it is.
i didn't think there would be much to write about these days but this is the first thing in a while i haven't been able to stop dwelling on so i really had to pour this one out.
not everyone is meant to have children. some people are too young for them when they get pregnant. some people are just stupid and that will never change regardless of age. some people weren't parented well themselves and therefore will not be a good parent simply because they don't know how. but most people are just stupid and don't glove up before the love and haven't taken their bcp in over 3 days and are too drunk to worry about it in the heat of the moment.
my boyfriends sister fits in to one of those categories and i'm not concerned with which one. she is 30 and has two children. one (girl) is seven, the other (boy) 13. she lives at home with her two kids, her mother, her aunt, and her brother (my boyfriend). my bf and the aunt own the house together. they charge her something like 400 bucks a month to live there. her daughter doesn't have a bedroom and sleeps on the recliner while she sleeps on the couch. her son has my bf's own bedroom. the other bedrooms are occupied by the remaining family. she does not discipline her kids well at all. her son has a bibi gun i know i spelled that horribly wrong. he has a skateboard that says "fuckd up kids" on the underside. she lets him have friends over all the time, on school nights and whenever he wants. she buys her kids whatever they want whenever they want. her daughter whines all the time and she calls her a baby for doing so and never hugs her. she makes fun of her to her face and doesnt console her when that makes her cry. she certainly favors her son over her daughter. the only time ive seen her raise her voice is when her son gets too rough with her daughter, then she will say "joshua stop that". she leaves her kids with her mother while she works at a diner 4-5 days a week til like 2pm. her son walks all over his grandmother. theres really nothing his grandma can do to control him, physically or otherwise. he is the king of the house when his uncle (my bf) is not around and he knows it. he tells his aunt she is a bitch a slut a fatass and ugly and he never gets punished.
so i hope you get the jist.
the other day john and i were at the house for the kids bday party because both their bdays are in july they just had one party together. they each got seperate cakes and lots of presents. the adults had some beer. late in the night joshua decides it would be funny to hit his mom over the head with this life sized blown up guitar toy. his mom starts cracking up about it. she thinks its funny. since she thinks its funny everyone else laughs. then josh goes "how funny would it be if i hit cristina with it!" and i said that wouldnt be funny at all. i told him i would be upset if he did that and to please not do that. a few minutes later im talking with his sister and he does it. calmly (but pissed off inside) i tell him that if he does that one more time im going to be angry. he does it again. everyone in the household is watching this all play out and no one is telling him not to do that again. so i grab the kids wrist and drag him into his room (he is shorter than me even though hes 13. hes the smallest kid in his class). i walk out and hear him say im a fucking bitch and something about a slut. i sit and think for a half a second and try to open his door. he is sitting against it so i wont come in. so i open it enough to stick my head in and talk to him. i ask him why he said that. he said "i was saying that to maryanne (the aunt)" so i say "so you think that makes it okay? you can't just call people that. do you understand? that is very disrespectful. and when i tell you not to do something you dont do it. see now your pissed and the tables are turned. its not so great is it" he mumbles something about "go away". he is on the floor in a ball holding the door as shut as he can. i repeat something about respecting those around you whose house you live in and then i open the door enough to wedge him between the wall and the door and i say "i am bigger than you and i am stronger than you and i can beat the shit out of you anyday. so DONT piss me off EVER again" then i leave him alone. his sister drags me into the bathroom to tell scary stories with her friend legit RIGHT after i leave the room. she and her friend heard everything i said to him. the rest of the people at the party didnt hear everything i said i dont think. but NO ONE WENT IN TO TELL HIM WHAT HE DID AND WHAT HE SAID WAS WRONG!!! my heart was racing while i was in the bathroom with the girls, but i tried to seem like nothing was wrong. i told them i eventually had to go out and apologize to him if i scared him at all.
i went out to the kitchen where everyone else was sitting and talking and drinking and i went up to his sister and said quietly i gotta go apologize if i scared him at all. her aunt overheard me say that and starts talking about the kid in a normal volume about what happened. then martha (my bf's sister/the kids mom) goes "why are you talking about him. he can hear everything you are saying (directed towards her aunt) when joshua goes into his room like that and doesnt come out you dont follow him. he needs to be alone (directed at me)"
EXCUSE MEE!!! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ON!
thats what i wanted to say.
i wanted to tell her "oh so you just let the kid sit in there alone with his flat screen and his video games for however long he wants just to come out when hes cool'd down just to never talk to him about what he's done or said to a guest in your house?!?!" i should have punished her, not him! but i just kept silent.
later on he came out of his room and nothing was said to him by anyone about the incident. nothing about his behavior. I was yelled at for telling him vulgar words are wrong.
this isnt the first time ive been over their house. i stayed over a lot during the past couple years and i know he never gets scolded or told whats right or wrong.
i guess i just snapped.
i am never going over there again.
martha and i do not have the same idea of parenting. discipline is not in her vocabulary.
john and i got in an argument that night about why he didn't do anything to stick up for me. he said hes given up on that family. i understand why. i hate to say it but i really don't see his sister changing her ways. he daughter doesn't even have her own bedroom! if those kids stay at the rate they are going and get whatever material toys they ever want but never any love or boundaries, they will never be happy in life. they will never have meaningful relationships. they will never be happy, even if they think they are. it's terrible to say i know.
it's a damn shame's what it is.
i didn't think there would be much to write about these days but this is the first thing in a while i haven't been able to stop dwelling on so i really had to pour this one out.