Better get used to this
my wonderful few weeks continues. stiff after stiff tonight at work delivering. i decide to get some new music, im needing something. i wonder the aisles and as always make the guys earn the money for the night looking for CDs for me. not much but enough to keep me going.
on to dinner for one, so of course lucky me im parked at the bar. of course 3 just starting the night girls sit down a few seats down, so i am entertained as i eat on how they believe the one's boyfriend is in love with her becuase he is eating a lot. the one justifies this deep deep thesis with he is happy so he is eating a lot. they also decide he must be in love with this girl becuase he alwys has her brother come over and talk sports and he grills steaks every night for them both but then eats them both when she says she isnt hungry. he has gained 20 lbs since they have been together. aka. he loves her. every extra 20 lbs of him. after listening to 30 minutes of this ignorence, i realized i had downed like 5 lemonades. this made me feel so weird, i was the lonely guy at the bar that drank incessantly. i dont think ive ever felt more weird in my entire life. i suddenly felt really sick and i felt you and sure enough there you were.
sorry, i meant to leave quicker i just ate really slow.
its back to working myself to the bone just so i never have time to think, its back to roaming the woods and trying to find answers, sleeping alone out on the ground and watching the past, playing those movies in my head, imagining those smells, and dreaming that im sleeping beside you, wishing i had done everything different, trying to convince myself ill get over it, watching tear smeared blue fade to black. im wondering when my life will ever change, 17 years of the same exact thing.
i still have red on those pants, my gym shorts have about lost all of your smell, i still have that puppy on my dresser, i still always check my phone, i still wake up and think of the same thing, i still go to sleep and think about the same thing. my hands are getting weaker by the minute. its time to do this all over again. i just dont know if i can do it alone.
on to dinner for one, so of course lucky me im parked at the bar. of course 3 just starting the night girls sit down a few seats down, so i am entertained as i eat on how they believe the one's boyfriend is in love with her becuase he is eating a lot. the one justifies this deep deep thesis with he is happy so he is eating a lot. they also decide he must be in love with this girl becuase he alwys has her brother come over and talk sports and he grills steaks every night for them both but then eats them both when she says she isnt hungry. he has gained 20 lbs since they have been together. aka. he loves her. every extra 20 lbs of him. after listening to 30 minutes of this ignorence, i realized i had downed like 5 lemonades. this made me feel so weird, i was the lonely guy at the bar that drank incessantly. i dont think ive ever felt more weird in my entire life. i suddenly felt really sick and i felt you and sure enough there you were.
sorry, i meant to leave quicker i just ate really slow.
its back to working myself to the bone just so i never have time to think, its back to roaming the woods and trying to find answers, sleeping alone out on the ground and watching the past, playing those movies in my head, imagining those smells, and dreaming that im sleeping beside you, wishing i had done everything different, trying to convince myself ill get over it, watching tear smeared blue fade to black. im wondering when my life will ever change, 17 years of the same exact thing.
i still have red on those pants, my gym shorts have about lost all of your smell, i still have that puppy on my dresser, i still always check my phone, i still wake up and think of the same thing, i still go to sleep and think about the same thing. my hands are getting weaker by the minute. its time to do this all over again. i just dont know if i can do it alone.