(no subject)
Well half of my last entry disappeared, which is really disappointing. But at least I got the thought sorted out in my head. I feel better.
Basically the feeling as if I'm a baby who has been humming in the back seat for hours, when someone finally looks at her and discovers that she has taken a magic marker to everything. The first coming to consciousness that I have destroyed something very valuable. The heartbreak, wondering if I will ever be allowed to color with a marker again.
The knowing that destruction will surely follow carelessness. Learning to look it in the face like a corpse; repulsive at first, it must be affirmed as a natural part of the cycle. Where there is imbalance, where I have cultivated things that are antagonistic to love, destruction will follow. I just tell myself to love the lesson. Don't be discouraged.
Basically the feeling as if I'm a baby who has been humming in the back seat for hours, when someone finally looks at her and discovers that she has taken a magic marker to everything. The first coming to consciousness that I have destroyed something very valuable. The heartbreak, wondering if I will ever be allowed to color with a marker again.
The knowing that destruction will surely follow carelessness. Learning to look it in the face like a corpse; repulsive at first, it must be affirmed as a natural part of the cycle. Where there is imbalance, where I have cultivated things that are antagonistic to love, destruction will follow. I just tell myself to love the lesson. Don't be discouraged.