Oct 07, 2004 18:35
i knew it. i fuckin knew it! i knew that he didnt care anymore....and he doesnt remember me. he can let go so easily or else there was nothing to it. i said hey and he asked who i was but taht was the end of it. i told him all he had to say was that he remembered me and that he still cared. AND HE FUCKIN SIGNED OFF! i just need him. and i thought i had finally let him go. but i didnt. and when i was waiting for his answer i had butterflies in my stomach. but now they're just dead and burned and now they're rotting. gosh i feel like puking. i feel like dying. and i have no sense of hope in me. i have no intention on getting it back either. but i never had the intention of falling in love with that dick either. why does love come so young. why cant i be like 80? then i would be so weak this would really take me off. but heaven sounds like the 2nd most appetizing thing right now. if i could have anything it'd be him. and now im off into my bawling, crying so hard phase.because this life is just too hard. hes just to tough to let go of. but im not. and here i go pushing my heart farther off my sleeve. soon enough it will be on the street...ill be waiting for anyone to come along and replace him. wont someone just replace him. im ugly right now. because atreyu says theres no beauty in bleeding mascara. do anything but watch me as i slowly die and rot away...im already ashamed enough