When did the future switch from being a promise to being a threat?
It's been what? weeks? Zane once told me that there is definatly a time to write a definatly a time not to write. (he was referring to music and lyrics) im referring to writing in here. Oh well, the point was made. I've been busy. work and whatever. I haven't seen much of anyone as of late. I dont know... I feel so different then everyone. I've been avoiding too. Ryan messages me alot on my phone and im either in the middle of something and promise to myself that i'll write him later or im just not in the mood. What's become of me? Im becoming a recluse i tell ya. Hence that it is 1 hour and 3 minutes till 2004 and i am at home typing on here. Sad, sad case in point. My sister has been here awhile and is leaving on friday and I thought that i should spend some time with her and my mom. Im really enjoying them a whole lot. I actually feel part of the family. It's nuts. Today, we all went Chateau Elan to eat lunch with my grandma, and i dont know.. it was a bad experience.. making me realize how insane my dad's side of the family is but still.. it was something to laugh about. Im really glad my mom and i are spending more time together. It makes me realize how much she means to me and how much of an importance she is in my life. I remember like 4 summers ago when i was laying on the couch watching the disney channel and she was ironing and some lame commercial came on and i laughed so hard. Then became i was laughing so hard she laughed and we just sat there like weirdos. Everytime i think about that it makes me smile.
Im working tomorrow. No surprise. It's just me and Christine. Now, might i remind you that Christine is the very large.. no i should rephrase that.. EXTREMELY large women who works at my work who cratiques everyone but when it comes to her i guess she assumes shes perfect or something. I guess i can kinda understand where she is coming from. When i was in like 7th grade or something and was really over weight i remember saying the meanest things to people so that they would be intimidated by me and wouldn't say anything about my weight. I was sucha bitch. im telling ya. But, she just makes me feel so bad about myself and the way i look. Shannon would say something like.. "Christine shut up-you're so fat." and that would be that. I just don't have the heart to. I mean, it used to kill me when people would say stuff like that to me, ya know? ANYWAYS, i took out my weave last night. My scalp feels raw. That thing weighed more then i do, i swear. Next week im getting a new one in. I dont think im going to make it as long though. It was so much work and what not. Amanda is dying it and I think Christy is cutting it.
There's alot of people i've been thinking about lately... alot of people i want in my life.. have better relationships with. There are alot of things still unsettled with alot of people that have kind of just been swept under the rug.
That brings on my topic or resolutions. I dont make them and never will. I wrote a huge paper about it my junior year. There are just things i want to change about me. How i treat people, the way i look, feel, act, everything. Why do i need to write them down so that i can open them next year just to be disappointed if i didn't achieve them? Sorry, not for me.
I was thinking about this today.. and just want it to be on everyones mind...
If you were on a game show and you're the winner and you geta choice between a five-piece liveing room set from Broyhill(suggested retail price three thousand dollars) or a ten-day trip to France-which one would you choose? Most people want something to show for there effort and would chooose the living room set but theres that small, small percentage that just want to live by the seat of there pants and want to go somewhere they've never been.. get out of the same rut they've been in and just go and never look back. Which are you?
<3
Im working tomorrow. No surprise. It's just me and Christine. Now, might i remind you that Christine is the very large.. no i should rephrase that.. EXTREMELY large women who works at my work who cratiques everyone but when it comes to her i guess she assumes shes perfect or something. I guess i can kinda understand where she is coming from. When i was in like 7th grade or something and was really over weight i remember saying the meanest things to people so that they would be intimidated by me and wouldn't say anything about my weight. I was sucha bitch. im telling ya. But, she just makes me feel so bad about myself and the way i look. Shannon would say something like.. "Christine shut up-you're so fat." and that would be that. I just don't have the heart to. I mean, it used to kill me when people would say stuff like that to me, ya know? ANYWAYS, i took out my weave last night. My scalp feels raw. That thing weighed more then i do, i swear. Next week im getting a new one in. I dont think im going to make it as long though. It was so much work and what not. Amanda is dying it and I think Christy is cutting it.
There's alot of people i've been thinking about lately... alot of people i want in my life.. have better relationships with. There are alot of things still unsettled with alot of people that have kind of just been swept under the rug.
That brings on my topic or resolutions. I dont make them and never will. I wrote a huge paper about it my junior year. There are just things i want to change about me. How i treat people, the way i look, feel, act, everything. Why do i need to write them down so that i can open them next year just to be disappointed if i didn't achieve them? Sorry, not for me.
I was thinking about this today.. and just want it to be on everyones mind...
If you were on a game show and you're the winner and you geta choice between a five-piece liveing room set from Broyhill(suggested retail price three thousand dollars) or a ten-day trip to France-which one would you choose? Most people want something to show for there effort and would chooose the living room set but theres that small, small percentage that just want to live by the seat of there pants and want to go somewhere they've never been.. get out of the same rut they've been in and just go and never look back. Which are you?
<3