i don't love you like i did yesterday...
(I feel like I shouldn't have to explain that the title is meant platonically, but just in case, it is. Just because I let myself get close to people to the point that they can hurt me like this does not mean I am romantically in love with them. And if you don't believe me, well, I just don't give a shit. And this is public because, you know what? I have nothing to hide here. Comments by non-friends, however, are screened to save those with less of a life than me embarrassment of being publicly exposed as not worth the energy required to reply.)
I don't miss you.
I mean that.
I miss when we used to laugh about stupid and mundane and random things. I miss when you were the one person I wanted to talk to when something, someone, or the world in general had me down. I miss when, after an exhausting day, I would turn my computer on, letting it boot up while I took a shower, or put my laundry in the washer, or changed into pajamas, and when I finally logged on, there was an IM from you, reading simply, "TWINNY!", and just knowing that someone cared about me made me feel better. I miss cheering you up when work or your family or life made you cranky or sad or just plain tired. I miss talking to you as we watched wrestling, berating the wrestlers and announcers and the company in general.
I miss the person I knew, the person who I would never have thought would have ever shunned me for so long over something so stupid I still don't really know exactly what it even was. The person who would have shown some sort of remorse, who wouldn't have expected me to lower myself and beg for forgiveness as though I was the only one at fault.
I have some stupid anonymous person assailing me on formspring, acting as though missing my twinny is a crime. It's not. I know it's not, and people can try to tell me it's wrong, but there might not ever be a time when I won't at least miss her occasionally, and I will never believe that makes me a bad person.
I miss her, and I've grown to accept that, because what use is it trying to forget her?
I miss my twinny.
But I don't miss you.
So, you didn't, but I do have the guts to say: I don't love you like I loved you yesterday.
And I no longer care if you never love me again.
...And no, I do not give a shit whether or not you think it's lame I quoted MCR. They're my favorite band for a reason, people. And it's not just because they're attractive men. Their songs (in general) mean something.
I don't miss you.
I mean that.
I miss when we used to laugh about stupid and mundane and random things. I miss when you were the one person I wanted to talk to when something, someone, or the world in general had me down. I miss when, after an exhausting day, I would turn my computer on, letting it boot up while I took a shower, or put my laundry in the washer, or changed into pajamas, and when I finally logged on, there was an IM from you, reading simply, "TWINNY!", and just knowing that someone cared about me made me feel better. I miss cheering you up when work or your family or life made you cranky or sad or just plain tired. I miss talking to you as we watched wrestling, berating the wrestlers and announcers and the company in general.
I miss the person I knew, the person who I would never have thought would have ever shunned me for so long over something so stupid I still don't really know exactly what it even was. The person who would have shown some sort of remorse, who wouldn't have expected me to lower myself and beg for forgiveness as though I was the only one at fault.
I have some stupid anonymous person assailing me on formspring, acting as though missing my twinny is a crime. It's not. I know it's not, and people can try to tell me it's wrong, but there might not ever be a time when I won't at least miss her occasionally, and I will never believe that makes me a bad person.
I miss her, and I've grown to accept that, because what use is it trying to forget her?
I miss my twinny.
But I don't miss you.
So, you didn't, but I do have the guts to say: I don't love you like I loved you yesterday.
And I no longer care if you never love me again.
...And no, I do not give a shit whether or not you think it's lame I quoted MCR. They're my favorite band for a reason, people. And it's not just because they're attractive men. Their songs (in general) mean something.