Lj Idol Week 5- Afterthought
The silence surrounds us, a combination of distance and too much rum. We'd wasted no time hitting the bar, and your clothes still smell like the airplane- stale and worn.
I want so badly to kiss you, to taste the corners of your mouth, but fear keeps me glued to the wall.
Music and smoke swirl around us as you reach over and grab the menu behind me.
“Hungry?”
I am, I’m famished actually, and I nod and ask you to order for me. Waiting for the waitress, you begin to tell me of the little girl sitting next to you on the plane, how her blue eyes reminded you so much, how it hurt to even look at her.
I understand; yesterday I stopped a girl with the same red hair on the street, only to realize, to remember. Every day feels cruel, having to wake up and be smacked with it all over again.
“When I broke up with her, I just… I didn’t realize, you know? I mean, how could I know?”
“She was my sister, shouldn’t I have known?”
You look at me with the oddest expression, and open your mouth, but nothing is said. I don’t ask- for once, I don’t want to hear your voice.
The food comes, and we eat slowly. I think of telling you, of asking why we’re about to bury her, and all I want to do is twine my fingers through yours.
The bartender pours another round, and we get lost in our drinks. Music swells, and conversations get louder while we just look at our hands.
“Do you…” I trail off, thinking better of it.
“Hmm?” Your eyebrows arch, and you cock your head just slightly.
“Do you maybe want some company tonight? I mean…”
You stop me with a finger to your lips, and lean in close. Tomorrow we will bury a woman we both loved in vastly different ways, but tonight? Tonight we can pretend at being okay, with your fingers in my hair and your mouth on my body, tonight we can be normal one last time.
I want so badly to kiss you, to taste the corners of your mouth, but fear keeps me glued to the wall.
Music and smoke swirl around us as you reach over and grab the menu behind me.
“Hungry?”
I am, I’m famished actually, and I nod and ask you to order for me. Waiting for the waitress, you begin to tell me of the little girl sitting next to you on the plane, how her blue eyes reminded you so much, how it hurt to even look at her.
I understand; yesterday I stopped a girl with the same red hair on the street, only to realize, to remember. Every day feels cruel, having to wake up and be smacked with it all over again.
“When I broke up with her, I just… I didn’t realize, you know? I mean, how could I know?”
“She was my sister, shouldn’t I have known?”
You look at me with the oddest expression, and open your mouth, but nothing is said. I don’t ask- for once, I don’t want to hear your voice.
The food comes, and we eat slowly. I think of telling you, of asking why we’re about to bury her, and all I want to do is twine my fingers through yours.
The bartender pours another round, and we get lost in our drinks. Music swells, and conversations get louder while we just look at our hands.
“Do you…” I trail off, thinking better of it.
“Hmm?” Your eyebrows arch, and you cock your head just slightly.
“Do you maybe want some company tonight? I mean…”
You stop me with a finger to your lips, and lean in close. Tomorrow we will bury a woman we both loved in vastly different ways, but tonight? Tonight we can pretend at being okay, with your fingers in my hair and your mouth on my body, tonight we can be normal one last time.