(no subject)
This entry doesn't even deserve a title because everything has just been crazy.
Work has been crazy. We've been short on insiders so that just makes it so much harder.
I took Monday off from school to work on this powerpoint project that turned out awesome only to find out the teacher wouldn't accept it so needless to say, I went to the councelor and they're on my side so ha bitch. And the real sad part is, I really liked this teacher, until she fucked with me. It's a long, long story that I'm sicking of telling so I hope people can see here that she had NO real reason for not taking my report that I put so much fucking effort into.
I've lost weight. Ten pounds in two weeks. Hooray. I hope this is a growing trend. My sexual appetite has come back but I have no one to share it with it. Not even Erik who I'm willing to give it up to no matter how much I don't really care for him. He does smell great, and he is cute, and we're friends but hey I'm fucking desperate. I called him after school today and got his machine. I basically left a little message saying I was sexually frustrated and if he could, please call. I also said, if I am barking up the wrong tree, don't be afraid to tell me. I can take it. I just want to know where I stand. It wasn't that long ago we almost had sex in the park. WHAT HAPPENED? I feel like a slut though. Very sad. Why didn't I just have sex with him when I had a chance? Screw Erik. It's all about me and nothing pleases me more than pleasing someone else. What can I say, it turns me on in a sick old fashion way. All day I had it planned out. I was basically going to give myself up to be used sexually. It sounded so great. But yeah ...
Plus there'd be no weirdness after the sex because he's moving to Dallas in two weeks. I wouldn't ever see him again, therefore, I wouldn't be waiting by the phone every night hoping that he calls. It would have been so perfect.
God why am I being so damn honest in this entry. My true, dark, hidden colors are beginning to show. It's the new drugs I swear.
Oh but then there is Colby who is fucking crazy and who the other day begged to have sex with me. NEVER!!! His sexual interest is not my type. His favorite part of the female form is the vagina. I find that sick. He loves to look at pictures of the female vagina. It's one thing to look at porn. I don't mind. I like suicide girls but I'm sorry, i find the vagina thing to be a little sick. I want a guy who likes me for something other than my tits and especially my vagina.
So that's my rambling. I feel like I just tossed up chunks. I said a lot of personal thoughts I probably wouldn't say to people. So to whoever who reads this (which is probably no one thank god) don't judge :)
Christmas Party over the vacation at my house. Get ready kiddies. Lots of my famous goodies and some awesome indie films. You will love it!
Work has been crazy. We've been short on insiders so that just makes it so much harder.
I took Monday off from school to work on this powerpoint project that turned out awesome only to find out the teacher wouldn't accept it so needless to say, I went to the councelor and they're on my side so ha bitch. And the real sad part is, I really liked this teacher, until she fucked with me. It's a long, long story that I'm sicking of telling so I hope people can see here that she had NO real reason for not taking my report that I put so much fucking effort into.
I've lost weight. Ten pounds in two weeks. Hooray. I hope this is a growing trend. My sexual appetite has come back but I have no one to share it with it. Not even Erik who I'm willing to give it up to no matter how much I don't really care for him. He does smell great, and he is cute, and we're friends but hey I'm fucking desperate. I called him after school today and got his machine. I basically left a little message saying I was sexually frustrated and if he could, please call. I also said, if I am barking up the wrong tree, don't be afraid to tell me. I can take it. I just want to know where I stand. It wasn't that long ago we almost had sex in the park. WHAT HAPPENED? I feel like a slut though. Very sad. Why didn't I just have sex with him when I had a chance? Screw Erik. It's all about me and nothing pleases me more than pleasing someone else. What can I say, it turns me on in a sick old fashion way. All day I had it planned out. I was basically going to give myself up to be used sexually. It sounded so great. But yeah ...
Plus there'd be no weirdness after the sex because he's moving to Dallas in two weeks. I wouldn't ever see him again, therefore, I wouldn't be waiting by the phone every night hoping that he calls. It would have been so perfect.
God why am I being so damn honest in this entry. My true, dark, hidden colors are beginning to show. It's the new drugs I swear.
Oh but then there is Colby who is fucking crazy and who the other day begged to have sex with me. NEVER!!! His sexual interest is not my type. His favorite part of the female form is the vagina. I find that sick. He loves to look at pictures of the female vagina. It's one thing to look at porn. I don't mind. I like suicide girls but I'm sorry, i find the vagina thing to be a little sick. I want a guy who likes me for something other than my tits and especially my vagina.
So that's my rambling. I feel like I just tossed up chunks. I said a lot of personal thoughts I probably wouldn't say to people. So to whoever who reads this (which is probably no one thank god) don't judge :)
Christmas Party over the vacation at my house. Get ready kiddies. Lots of my famous goodies and some awesome indie films. You will love it!