Joey...
I just got off the phone with Joey. Wow...he is amazing. I adore him so much. He has the absolute best outlook on life. I wish I could be half as great as him. Just the fact that so much has happened to him, and he is still optimistic amazes me. I look forward to talking to him again soon. I only got to talk to him for about 20 minutes or so, but those 20 minutes made me the happiest I've been in a long time. He made me realize that even though people are turning away from me, and my mom isn't exactly what you call "mom of the year" material...I need to stay strong, and believe what I know is true. When I talk to him, I feel like I am someone special. He makes me feel wanted, and beautiful. To hear his kind soft spoken compliments warms my heart. I know that sounds extremely corny, but it's the truth. I feel so comfortable when I talk to him. I can honestly see myself marrying him. I don't have to be someone I'm not when I am talking to him. I can be myself, and be accepted. Tonight,I realized how much I really miss church. I need to find a youth group down here. I am lost without God. I miss all the times I would go to church, and cry at the alter. I would pour my heart out to God. He is my idol. I worship him. I knew that I could tell him anything, and he would listen whole-heartedly. I have drifted away from him. I don't know if he will accept me back. I feel as though I turned my back on him, so he will have turned his back on me also. I just hope I'm not too late. Joey was telling me this story about a boy who was in the desert, and he needed to get past a rock. He couldn't budge it, and he tried for 7 months...he finally gave up, and told God that he was quitting because he couldn't do it. God told him that he did do it. Even though he didn't move the rock out of his way, he had gotten stronger. God ended up moving the rock, and the boy walked right past it. That made me think ALOT. That's the way God works. He won't do things for you...he helps you. Every obstacle thrown in our way can be overcome, and we do overcome it, we are a stronger person. I have given up on God, because of the simple fact I thought he was out to get me. I didn't realize that all these obstacles were for my own good. I am starting to enjoy life more and more each day. I am excited to see all the challenges that lie ahead. I am ready, and willing to work through them with God at my side. Thank you Joey. I LOVE YOU! <3333