dead from all the lonliness, this is how I feel
So last night was spent with me staying up and submerging myself into a few random different art projects before taking an oxy, smoking, chilling out to music, and eventually passing out.
Good times, right?
Yesterday was field day at school. I actually participated, and had a pretty good time. Towards the end of the day it ended up raining, and I got to dance around in it with Jess and silly little gay Jimmy.
The whole end of high school thing has me feeling very nostalgic. I can't belive that its actually over, and im really kinda sad that its over. Im not sure im ready for life yet, I could use a few more years of pointless education. At the same time, i also have this panic-y feeling that I really wasted what could have been of my highschool years by going to alternative school. There are many friendships that I lost when I left Bensalem high, and what friendships I managed to keep suffered greatly. The only thing that makes me not regret it is that I got to really get to know kelley, and im very happy to call her my friend. :-)
Anywho, after school I actually got the chance to talk to Donna. Donna was one of my best friends who moved after the end of 9th grade. We kept in touch for a while after she moved, talking atleast once a week for atleast 2 hours, but eventually we started to have lifes and drifted apart from one another. She ended up moving out of her mothers house, so I had no way to get in contact with her. The other day Kelley and I were talking about our parted best friends (Her best friend Amanda moved to Florida too) and it made me very sad that she isn't a part of my life anymore. So I turned to the good old myspace. Surprise surprise, she had one. I got her number, and called her yesterday. We couldn't talk long because I had to go to work, but her life was nothing like what I expected. She spoke of a recent coke addiction that she broke, her sister 16 year old sister getting knocked up by a 29 year old, crack smoking, guys with kids and ex wifes, and getting out of her parents house. Shocking, but not really. I mean, one of my other best friends, Tamara, ended up turning into a crack head, so very little could shock me at this point. Talking to donna made me really sad because she seems harder. When I first got on the phone it took every ounce of strength not to burst into tears from missing her so much, but she just talked as if she wasn't herself, as if she were just an innocent bystander reporting what had happened in her life. Maybe we drifted apart for a reason? Maybe im just being a moron? Idontknow.
Then I worked. Oooo, there is a new very sexy driver named Cliff. Hes actually from the levittown store, but he is picking up more hours at our store. I still have yet to really talk to him but he wears a hemp bracelet and has a lighter belt attatchment which is usually the sign of a pot smoker. Maybe I can ask him today.
-insert stomach gurgling-
Im a hungry. I think ill go do something about that.
More later?
Sarah
Good times, right?
Yesterday was field day at school. I actually participated, and had a pretty good time. Towards the end of the day it ended up raining, and I got to dance around in it with Jess and silly little gay Jimmy.
The whole end of high school thing has me feeling very nostalgic. I can't belive that its actually over, and im really kinda sad that its over. Im not sure im ready for life yet, I could use a few more years of pointless education. At the same time, i also have this panic-y feeling that I really wasted what could have been of my highschool years by going to alternative school. There are many friendships that I lost when I left Bensalem high, and what friendships I managed to keep suffered greatly. The only thing that makes me not regret it is that I got to really get to know kelley, and im very happy to call her my friend. :-)
Anywho, after school I actually got the chance to talk to Donna. Donna was one of my best friends who moved after the end of 9th grade. We kept in touch for a while after she moved, talking atleast once a week for atleast 2 hours, but eventually we started to have lifes and drifted apart from one another. She ended up moving out of her mothers house, so I had no way to get in contact with her. The other day Kelley and I were talking about our parted best friends (Her best friend Amanda moved to Florida too) and it made me very sad that she isn't a part of my life anymore. So I turned to the good old myspace. Surprise surprise, she had one. I got her number, and called her yesterday. We couldn't talk long because I had to go to work, but her life was nothing like what I expected. She spoke of a recent coke addiction that she broke, her sister 16 year old sister getting knocked up by a 29 year old, crack smoking, guys with kids and ex wifes, and getting out of her parents house. Shocking, but not really. I mean, one of my other best friends, Tamara, ended up turning into a crack head, so very little could shock me at this point. Talking to donna made me really sad because she seems harder. When I first got on the phone it took every ounce of strength not to burst into tears from missing her so much, but she just talked as if she wasn't herself, as if she were just an innocent bystander reporting what had happened in her life. Maybe we drifted apart for a reason? Maybe im just being a moron? Idontknow.
Then I worked. Oooo, there is a new very sexy driver named Cliff. Hes actually from the levittown store, but he is picking up more hours at our store. I still have yet to really talk to him but he wears a hemp bracelet and has a lighter belt attatchment which is usually the sign of a pot smoker. Maybe I can ask him today.
-insert stomach gurgling-
Im a hungry. I think ill go do something about that.
More later?
Sarah