(no subject)
I've started to really resent some of the things that make me who I am. I hate how opinionated I can be. I'm extremely judgemental and it's extremely hard to get me to change my mind about things. I look down on a lot of people for the decisions that they make. I usually feel justified in this because I have worked so hard my entire life to make the right decisions and luckily don't have many that I regret- other than how I've treated people or how I didn't appreciate things as much as I should have.
I'm extremely resentful towards my church. I think that the people that are produced from the Mormon church can generally be summed up as greedy, have a sense of self entitlement, judgmental, and fake. I'm so sick of these people who throw all of their beliefs to the wind on a single whim of wanting to have sex or drink or whatever just knowing that they can repent and it won't be a problem. They all want to get married in the temple even though they were sluts. If you're going to do those things make sure that they are worth it and not that you can do it and then all of a sudden later in life you can come up with the "holier than tho" attitude. I'm so sick of these girls who are complete sluts and then want to get back into the church as if it's their sole purpose in life and then act as if they are perfect. And it doesn't just have to be sex. I'm SO sick of these girls that screw other people over just to get what they want and think they are entitled just because they go to church. I HATE Provo. I HATE the people down there.
I've turned into a stressful person. I'm always stressed about something. Whether it's my relationships, school, my fam, things I need to get done I freak out. I can't rely on anyone else to make me feel better, and if they do i usually just get mad at them and tell them they don't know what they're talking about.
I'm a jealous person who doesn't trust many people. I assume the worst out of people. I assume the worst out of life actually. I let people hurt me over and over again and believe that I deserve it. I believe that I don't deserve good things. I'm extremely hard on myself and I rarely think that I do anything right. I constantly have people telling me how much I mess up and that I don't make good decisions. I'm emotional and I can't usually help it. It all is very tiring.
Blah. Sorry for the rant =S
I'm extremely resentful towards my church. I think that the people that are produced from the Mormon church can generally be summed up as greedy, have a sense of self entitlement, judgmental, and fake. I'm so sick of these people who throw all of their beliefs to the wind on a single whim of wanting to have sex or drink or whatever just knowing that they can repent and it won't be a problem. They all want to get married in the temple even though they were sluts. If you're going to do those things make sure that they are worth it and not that you can do it and then all of a sudden later in life you can come up with the "holier than tho" attitude. I'm so sick of these girls who are complete sluts and then want to get back into the church as if it's their sole purpose in life and then act as if they are perfect. And it doesn't just have to be sex. I'm SO sick of these girls that screw other people over just to get what they want and think they are entitled just because they go to church. I HATE Provo. I HATE the people down there.
I've turned into a stressful person. I'm always stressed about something. Whether it's my relationships, school, my fam, things I need to get done I freak out. I can't rely on anyone else to make me feel better, and if they do i usually just get mad at them and tell them they don't know what they're talking about.
I'm a jealous person who doesn't trust many people. I assume the worst out of people. I assume the worst out of life actually. I let people hurt me over and over again and believe that I deserve it. I believe that I don't deserve good things. I'm extremely hard on myself and I rarely think that I do anything right. I constantly have people telling me how much I mess up and that I don't make good decisions. I'm emotional and I can't usually help it. It all is very tiring.
Blah. Sorry for the rant =S