100th entry
My life seems to be slowly falling apart at the seems. It seems that no matter what I do or say, everything seems to screw up in some fashion. My parents beg me to get my permit so that I can start learning to drive, but when I tell them that I'm ready to take the damn test, they could care less and make a bunch of excuses why I can't take it. Most of the time they say they don't know where I could take it, but I've heard them talking about it. They keep getting mad at me for not having my tuxedo for the prom yet, but I tell them to take me out to the place to go rent it and they sit on their asses and do absolutely nothing. All they care about right now is what college I want to get into after I graduate. They say if I don't have a college picked out by the time I'm eighteen that they are going to kick me out of the house. By then Elyzah will hopefully have a place of her own and I can live there. I don't really take up that much room even at my own house. Everything that I could possibly care about is in my room, except for my dad's computer which only has the purpose of allowing me online. I used to have 2 GB worth of songs on his computer, all in WAV format which was a bad idea, and they were so big that I couldn't access them. My parents are always trying to convince me that I should do all kinds of stuff outside of school and join every club inside of school to get into an Ivy League college. I really don't want to get into one of them, and only like 10 people that ever went through souderton ever did. I know that I couldn't possibly be one of them because my GPA puts me at about 130 in my class rank. I wish my parents would open their eyes and accept me for who I am. I don't enjoy sports because I want to stay away from competition, and I don't socialize much because it's hard to find a person that thinks the same way I do. They even said that in first grade my teacher noticed the way that I thought and tried her best to help me use my strange form of intellect for positive things. OK it's about four hours later and I'm feeling a little bit better. Just went out to rent a tux, and then I was forced to go to other places that were boring as hell. The tux I got is quite nice, and has a bow tie and a steel blue vest. While I was at some wholesale place with my parents there were all kinds of fat people everywhere. It's amazing how many overweight people there could possibly be. While I was getting my measurements done the guy measured my waist. When he looked at the measurement he was like wow because as he said later about forty pounds heavier when he was my height. The worst part about being thin is that you have all kinds of people try to take advantage of you just because I'm smaller and that clothing at the store tends to be too big in the waist and you have to spend forever looking for the right size. I wear 30x30 pants, which have been my size for quite a while. I wish I were just 2 inches taller, that way I would be the same height as my dad. I still have a few years to grow, seeing as all my cousins that are all over 6 foot grew during junior and senior year. It sucks not having any relatives my age to talk to at get togethers, or even any younger siblings that I can play with. The only one is my very bitchy little cousin that screams all the time. The only relative that I do talk to is my uncle ken, because he is into computers more than I am. I've been finding recently that computers and the like have lost their fun qualities. I try to play video games and I take one look at it and decide that I'd have more fun being bored on the internet and maybe reading about stuff. I've never been much of a gamer, but when I was I was quite good at it. While I was away at the tux place and other store Elyzah IMed me, and I found out that I'm not going to be meeting her friend Emmie. It seems that although they fight a lot anyway, Elyzah has realized that during their entire friendship that Emmie has always been bitchy, so I guess I'll never get to meet her. And there was other stuff that Elyzah mentioned to me, but I don't feel like mentioning it. As I was watching all the fat people in the wholesale place I was debating whether or not to give up meat almost entirely and become vegetarian. I've never been much of a fan of food in general, and my parents used to bitch at me because I only liked the starches. I feel like ranting more, even though I already checked and this will be my longest entry yet. The only things that pop into my head is the same old shit that I've ranted and talked about before. I'm finding it very hard to find a good topic to talk with Elyzah about these days. It's like we know each other better than ourselves, and I can't remember what I was like immediately before I met her. Sure I can remember up until Christmas time, but everything after that seems like a blur until I met Elyzah. I've found that being with Elyzah all this time has helped me mature mentally as well. People make disgusting comments at my lunch table, but they aren't all that funny to me anymore. Sure, I may crack up during chem when I figure out a disgusting thing about whatever we're talking about, but it's just the atmosphere that makes me insane. Just like the atmosphere when I'm with Elyzah makes me calm, but that calmness tends to make me sleepy. Sometime I'm going to have to find some way to get lots of energy before I get to see her so that I can't show that I'm not just the depressed looking bondage kid. Well, this entry is extremely long, but I have so much more to say, but I'll wait and save it for another entry. I hope you enjoy it, and I can't wait until I can have one of these huge entries again when I hit 200.