i can't think of a title
I am at school. Wow, what a way to start off this entry. I have about twenty minutes to write as much as I want, so I guess I better start. Last night Elyzah gave me the username of her exboyfriend Ray, and I started talking to him. The thing is, everyone has been telling me that he is a total asshole, but he wasn't being as asshole to me. Instead he was giving me tips, even though I knew like all of them, and even told me a little bit about the entries in Elyzah's journal that she decided to delete. Yeah, both the Ray entries and the Clarke entries. He told me all about Clarke, and how much he hated the son of a bitch even before she even started with him. He told me that he is always trying to be Elyzah's guardian angel or something, but I'm skeptical about how much of this was true. While I was talking my parents told me that Elyzah had called, so I quick called her up. Let's just say that is the first time I've ever heard her cry. And because she was crying, I started crying and trying to comfort her. It hurts me to hear about the hell that she has to go through in her household, but instead of going insane looking for her blade, she went insane looking for my phone number. That in itself told me a lot, and showed me that I am better at making her feel better then harming herself ever was. I've never been trusted nearly as much as Elyzah says she trusts me, and that makes me feel both happy and scared. Happy as in that I finally won her over (teehee), but scared in that I don't want to screw up and use that trust for something evil. But I've always been the silent type, so I guess it'll be easy to keep to myself. I'm getting lightheaded just thinking about what Ray said about Clarke. I'm staring at the keyboard and all of a sudden everything just got brighter and blurry. Exactly the same feeling I get when I'm reading Elyzah's journal entries from the past. I wish she hadn't deleted the entries about the good times she had with Ray, or even the ones with Clarke, because memories will always be there, so you might as well keep them there. But that was her choice to delete them, so that's ok with me. I find it easier to type and write when I'm ranting about something. Not always bad things though. In fact I was ranting to make it easier to write an essay assignment for History and I was done in 10 minutes, and it was a positive rant. And here I am again sort of ranting to you about all kinds of stuff. I'm really really hungry. I'm thinking about giving my fruit cup to Elyzah, because she was looking a little under the weather when I saw her this morning. Radiohead is such awesome music. It's almost like TOOL in that the lyrics in unison with the instruments becomes a mind altering experience. But Radiohead's music calms me down, whereas TOOL tends to make me feel like hurting somebody. Great, I'm losing stuff to talk about. I was on the phone for about an hour with Elyzah last night. I've never been much of a talker, like I said, so I was just listening all the time. With my girlfriend from last summer we were both that way so we would call each other up and simply stay silent for about 10 minutes before we both decided to go. And back them the internet was more important to me than my love life, so when my parents gave me back my cables at the beginning of September I never talked to her again. But you don't need to worry, Elyzah. Now I go online to basically talk to you, and to a few others, but they can't hold a decent conversation. I know that ace is complaining to me all the time, but everyone needs a person that they can tell how shitty their life is. I realized something the other day. I tend to get along with my female teachers better than my male teachers. Now that may seem disgusting at first, but seeing as I have sensitivity in both my Zodiac and Chinese Zodiac sign, I tend to get along with women better because I'm more emotional than most guys. Sure, people may look at me and think I'm a wuss, but then again they probably don't have enough balls to stand up in front of people and show exactly how they're feeling. My parents worry about me because they think I'm very withdrawn. I'm not in the least bit, except that I'm withdrawn from them, because quite frankly I don't know what kind of responces I'll get from them when I tell them stuff. I'm only just starting to get to know them again. The librarian just got mad at me for using the livejournal so I better go.