… it's no longer about getting fucked up beyond memory or finding the perfect outfit or making sure all my guests are on the comp list or stressing about details. This year, strangely enough, is about being "grown-up," not messed up.
I like what you said … I’ve done a whole lot of moping and no small amount of soul-searching, trying to figure out what I’ve done, trying to figure out where I’m going and I’m sure you’re probably doing the same. Usually I am amazed at how stupid I was at the previous significant birthdays - 18, 20, 21, 25 … 30. “Gawd, I was so naïve, “ I think.
30 is no different. At 25 I still don’t know what I’m going to do with my career. I had spent the last number of years in bad relationships, in bad situations, spending too much time trying to escape and not enough trying to change my life for the better. Which brings us to this bout of soul searching. What have I learned in the past few years? A whole lot.
I've learned that when someone tells you you'll never suceed at something -- for whatever reason -- usually that's a good reason to try it. I've realized that money is neither health, happiness, nor peace of mind, and fame is definitely not at all that its cracked up to be.
I've learned that I don't have to be drunk to be flirtatious, to have fun, to recover from a bad day, or to say things I'm otherwise afraid to say.
I've realized that I don't have to be friends with people who annoy me, and I've also realized that the importance of making friends with interesting people outside one's usual social circle. When I look in the mirror I no longer see too big a nose, bad skin, pudgy cheeks, medium lips. I no longer see someone I don't want to be. But I wonder, despite all these things, that I'll look back on 25-year-old me at age 30, 35, 40, and just like I did before, go through the ritual of the significant birthday: "gawd, I was so naive. I didn't know *shit* at that age."
you're right..i don't think i've got it figured out any more now than 5 years ago. life's a learning process, u know? someone asked me whether i feel 30. i don't know what 30's supposed to feel like, but i'm certain my 30th year on this planet will be a great one.
Well, I've seen some of your photos that you've posted in the past and all I can say is ... PARTY ANIMAL =) So I'm sure you'll have a blast on your 30th.
Re: why would i lie?bluediaryAugust 13 2004, 13:50:07 UTC
In that case, I want to be the first to wish you a Happy 30th Birthday ... However, you really don't look 29 (turning 30) at all ... If you ask me I think you look around 26 - 27. I guess it must be the oil of olay twice a day thingy.
Re: why would i lie?bluediaryAugust 16 2004, 15:18:30 UTC
LOL, Compliment? Hmmm ... it wasn't really meant to be a compliment silly. You really don't look your age ... but now that I went back to look at your pictures. I must say you do look closer to 23 - 24 *wink*
I like what you said … I’ve done a whole lot of moping and no small amount of soul-searching, trying to figure out what I’ve done, trying to figure out where I’m going and I’m sure you’re probably doing the same. Usually I am amazed at how stupid I was at the previous significant birthdays - 18, 20, 21, 25 … 30. “Gawd, I was so naïve, “ I think.
30 is no different. At 25 I still don’t know what I’m going to do with my career. I had spent the last number of years in bad relationships, in bad situations, spending too much time trying to escape and not enough trying to change my life for the better. Which brings us to this bout of soul searching. What have I learned in the past few years? A whole lot.
I've learned that when someone tells you you'll never suceed at something -- for whatever reason -- usually that's a good reason to try it. I've realized that money is neither health, happiness, nor peace of mind, and fame is definitely not at all that its cracked up to be.
I've learned that I don't have to be drunk to be flirtatious, to have fun, to recover from a bad day, or to say things I'm otherwise afraid to say.
I've realized that I don't have to be friends with people who annoy me, and I've also realized that the importance of making friends with interesting people outside one's usual social circle.
When I look in the mirror I no longer see too big a nose, bad skin, pudgy cheeks, medium lips. I no longer see someone I don't want to be. But I wonder, despite all these things, that I'll look back on 25-year-old me at age 30, 35, 40, and just like I did before, go through the ritual of the significant birthday: "gawd, I was so naive. I didn't know *shit* at that age."
PS. Thanks for the post! Welcome Back!
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PS. Are you really turning 30?
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