you...just like heaven.
so today//tonight has been the most terrible, heart breaking night of my life.
i don't think that any of you could possibly even begin to understand what i'm going through right now, but it's the most horrible thing i've ever had to deal with.
about an hour before my flight, after long battles with my conscious, friends, family, suitcases..i decided to park it here, in ny for good. or at least what i think is forever..
i miss everyone and everything so much.
i was honestly ruining my life down there, whether you would come to admit it or not.
never going to school, getting drunk constantly, drugs, treating my mom like shit, being a ridiculous terror of a child, and just an all out waste of life.
i need to be here, with the people i've known and come to love, and feel comfortable with and make the most out of this last year of high school.
i'm never going to get along with my "father" and that is without a doubt.
i'm not exactly sure where i'm going to be living, but it most likely will not be here.
i don't really know what is going down yet, it was such a sporadic decision.
i'm going to miss my mom, like never before, and of course my dog<3
i'm so sorry to everyone that i love down there and you know who you are and i hope you can forgive me.
don't forget about me, just yet.
eveytime i have to tell someone from the 954 that i'm not coming home i start crying uncontrollably and kind of wish i would have just left, but this will be better for me, in the end at least. and i'm happy here, i think.
please try to understand.
i love you.
<3
its still *KCDShXccrew4LYFE*
and kyle, i'm going to try to get down there for prom because i love you and i promise.
i don't think that any of you could possibly even begin to understand what i'm going through right now, but it's the most horrible thing i've ever had to deal with.
about an hour before my flight, after long battles with my conscious, friends, family, suitcases..i decided to park it here, in ny for good. or at least what i think is forever..
i miss everyone and everything so much.
i was honestly ruining my life down there, whether you would come to admit it or not.
never going to school, getting drunk constantly, drugs, treating my mom like shit, being a ridiculous terror of a child, and just an all out waste of life.
i need to be here, with the people i've known and come to love, and feel comfortable with and make the most out of this last year of high school.
i'm never going to get along with my "father" and that is without a doubt.
i'm not exactly sure where i'm going to be living, but it most likely will not be here.
i don't really know what is going down yet, it was such a sporadic decision.
i'm going to miss my mom, like never before, and of course my dog<3
i'm so sorry to everyone that i love down there and you know who you are and i hope you can forgive me.
don't forget about me, just yet.
eveytime i have to tell someone from the 954 that i'm not coming home i start crying uncontrollably and kind of wish i would have just left, but this will be better for me, in the end at least. and i'm happy here, i think.
please try to understand.
i love you.
<3
its still *KCDShXccrew4LYFE*
and kyle, i'm going to try to get down there for prom because i love you and i promise.