[LOG] Punishment and Guilt (Sakaki and Kabaji - a back dated log)
Who: Kabaji Munehiro and Sakaki Tarou
What: Kabaji gets in touch with his inner maid and starts his week of punishment
When: backdated like woah, all the way back in April 3
Where: Sakaki’s office
Rating: PG
It was the first day of what was to be a week of labor intensive chores. Kabaji was certain that he would do best to start with the cleaning first. He already had his marching orders from Ryuuzaki sensei. For having pranked her, he had to clean all the offices and move around snow and write about why he had done what he had done. The only problem was that Kabaji hadn’t actually DONE anything. Yes, he had admitted to doing the prank, but he was certain that the teacher was aware that he wasn’t the one who had. He was also sure that that was why his punishment was so simple. It was something Kabaji could do easily. It would take time, but not a great deal of effort.
He was certain that whoever had pranked the headmistress was sitting back somewhere, glad that he had stepped up to take the blame. It wasn’t about being a martyr, it was about righting wrongs. Group punishment was wrong and he had fixed it. Yes, he felt deep cutting guilt for lying. It was wrong to lie and he had lied to teachers, fellow students, everyone. But there were good lies and there were bad lies. This was a good lie. It had helped others. Now he just had to stick to his story.
It would be difficult since he was supposed to meet up with Sakaki-sensei. He was going to have to look the man he looked up to so much in the face and lie again. He didn’t know if he could, but he knew he would have to. He was afraid that if it came out that he had been lying, everyone would be punished again. So it was better to just do it.
Gathering his courage and suppressing his guilt, he arrived at the teacher’s office. Sakaki was supposed to accompany him to make sure no one helped him...and to make sure he did his work. Setting his jaw, he quietly knocked on the door. “S....sensei..it’s me...I’m supposed to...report in here first?”
Sakaki sat on one of his loveseats and looked towards the door when it was knocked upon. “The door is open, Kabaji-kun,” he called, still a little awestruck about everything that had happened. Of course he hadn’t expected Ryuuzaki to take his little prank lying down, but he wasn’t sure what he liked least about the whole thing: punishing the whole school, or Kabaji “owning” up to it.
The large boy peaked in quietly before letting his head lead the way into the room. He wondered if he was going to get scolded by Sakaki too. He was certain that most the teachers would for pulling a prank, regardless of the fact the he wasn’t the sort of person who pranked others. He was sure if he did, he would feel worse than he did right now. He was certain that even non-psychics could feel the guilt rolling off of him.
He couldn’t look the man in the eye. He just couldn’t. The carpet was nice. It needed a vacuum though. But he would get to that after he cleaned Ryuuzaki’s office. He chewed on his lower lip for a moment, head hung in shame. “I’m sorry...you have to monitor me for this....I’m sure you have better things... I’ll try to do this quickly...” Save Sakaki some of his time. “I...If I do it well...she’ll know that I’m sorry for...what I did.” Something he hadn’t even known happened until the punishment of the school had taken place.
For a moment, Sakaki wondered just which one of them was being punished. “You haven’t done anything,” he muttered, a tad derisively, wiping some imaginary dust from the arm of his sofa. “I don’t like that you feel you have to do this, but I will not reproach you for it... it is very much too late for that.” He sighed heavily and got to his feet, rotating his shoulder to get some of the tension out of his muscles. All told, this ordeal was starting to be more trouble than it was worth. Would would have thought Ryuuzaki was so bad at taking jokes?
He heard the muttering and bit his lower lip harder. He wanted to grab the man by the shoulders and tell him! Tell him everything! Tell him how it was true and he hadn’t done anything. But he couldn’t. Now could he stand there and correct the man and say he had. Standing here before this man. he found he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t lie. It was much easier to do over journals than face to face.
He watched the man and frowned a little. He wondered why Sakaki seemed so...stiff. He frowned in worry. “I...I can do the inside stuff first...so you can stay seated...” Maybe he was feeling the effects of that injury he had had months back still. “I can even...lift the couches with you on them...so....” He looked up just slightly. “Don’t...strain yourself okay. You’re just...to make sure I behave...and don’t jello anyone else...I guess.” An impossibility unless he misused his creation ability.
Kabaji shifted a bit more. “I can cheat, right?” He was sure that Sakaki knew now that Kabaji considered using his powers as “cheating”.
Sakaki rolled his eyes. “You’re being punished for no reason after accepting punishment for a deed you didn’t do, you can use your powers however you please, I don’t care,” he said, turning away from Kabaji so the boy couldn’t tell he was pouting a little. As he walked back to his desk, he rotated his wrist until he heard a satisfying click in the joint - it wasn’t much, but it made him feel a little better. “If you want to do inside things first, be my guest.”
He smiled just a little. He was amazed that Sakaki wouldn’t be mad or tell the headmistress if he used his abilities to make the jobs easier. With his strength, the outside chores would be simple. With his other power...he could create a large array of cleaning things. “T...thank you, sensei.” While he was sure that the man was a bit disappointed in him, it didn’t seem a bad as he initially expected.
Quietly, he pulled out a little blue apron and started to put it on. It was far too small for his muscular frame but you didn’t clean without an apron. “I’ll work hard and I’ll make sure everything is...is perfect!” He would probably need a great deal of help writing the entry about his need to destroy property....since he hadn’t done it. Maybe Sakaki would help with that because Sakaki was amazing with words. Maybe pretty words would help make this all better.
Sitting down heavily at his desk, Sakaki made a herculean effort to hold his tongue, to restrain himself from pouncing on Kabaji and yelling until he figured out just what the boy knew and why he was continuing this ridiculous charade. “Do as you wish,” he murmured, pulling out his laptop and pretending to do some work. Secretly, he looked at all his office supplies and cursed himself for not having installed a camera to catch Ryuuzaki’s face when she realized her desk had been jello’d.
Kabaji would do just that. He hurried to busy himself with his tidying up on the teacher’s office. As he worked, he hummed softly, deep bass voice a low thrum of noise. It might be punishment, but at least he could try to enjoy himself. His big sister had always teased him that he would make a good house husband someday...whatever that meant.
He straightened up some of the books in the shelves before turning to glance at the man again. “She...wants me to discuss my need for...vandalism..and my...motivations... with you...after my punishment is done...” Thing was, Kabaji couldn’t really do any sort of discussion because he hadn’t done it. The only thing he could talk about was his motivation behind taking the blame and doing the punishment that should have been for someone else. He didn’t know if he was creative enough to continue to lie to this man during the “discussion.”
“That conversation will be such a waste of time,” Sakaki muttered, tapping angrily at his laptop, though it was really more of a mashing of keys rather than actual typing. Of course words were forming, but mostly in the form of a stream of consciousness consisting of all the things he would like to say about Ryuuzaki and this ridiculous charade, but knew would never be given voice. “What do you intend to tell her... when this is all over, I mean?”
Kabaji frowned and turned around to look at the man, taking one of the books he had been arranging and holding it to his broad chest. He might be a little slow, but he knew anger when he saw and heard it. Shoulder sunk. Sakaki was angry at him. Probably disappointed in him too. Kabaji didn’t know which was worse, angering the man or disappointing him. He held the book tighter and thought about it.
“I...I don’t know, sensei...I...I suppose I’ll tell her how sorry I am. And that I learned my lesson...and maybe that I was trying to be.... more like a normal student... Instead of...” he trailed off. Instead of what he was. Even with all the lessons he had with Sakaki over being more confident and expressing himself better and more eloquently, in the end, Kabaji was still Kabaji. He would always probably be a very very good boy that tried too too hard to please everyone. “I... I don’t have any better words...for it...”
Slamming his hands on the top of his desk, Sakaki stood up all at once. He walked over to Kabaji and (as best he could), roughly grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him just a little bit. “Goddamnit, Munehiro, don’t lie to me,” he growled, trying to keep the rage out of his voice, “I know you didn’t do this because I know who did. I’m not mad at you, but I hate that you’re taking responsibility for something you had no part in and I don’t want you to keep lying about it.”
For such a large boy, Kabaji was rather easy to startle and even easier to manhandle. He stood there, dumbfounded as he was shaken. He didn’t know what to do. He could only blink and try to process the sudden anger coming his direction. And on top of that...Sakaki-sensei, the man he looked up to; the man he wanted to maybe one day be close to becoming something like, had called him by his first name. And not in a good way like when Choutarou did it. This was the sort of thing that made him stop dead in his tracks.
“I....” He hesitated more than he ever had before. He was in quite a shock. “I...” He couldn’t look the man in the eyes at all. “it....it’s already...” How to say it. It was too late. He had made his bed, now he had to sleep in it. Perhaps Ryuuzaki-sensei knew and that’s why he was still being punished. Maybe she was trying to test his convictions to stand behind his selfless martyrdom. Maybe that was one too many maybes. He swallowed a lump forming in his throat and whispered, “I don’t really like lying...” In fact, it made him feel a little sick to his stomach, but there he was anyway.
Kabaji took a small breath and continued to stare at the carpet. “I...don’t know what to do...it’s gotten so big...and...if I tell the truth now...there will just be more trouble...” Which was the last thing he wanted for anyone.
Sakaki sighed heavily, his frustration draining out of him after his outburst. “I don’t want you to have to lie,” he said, for me, he added in his mind. “Nor do I want to have to compel you to tell the truth. White lies might not seem to hurt anybody but, sooner or later, you get caught in even the most innocent ones. It is much better to be honest and be in the wrong then to get bitten by your dishonesty. I don’t want to see your selflessness get you hurt.”
Now he really didn’t know what to do. He supposed he could end it right here. Confess to this man that his confession had been all a lie. The man knew it anyway. But then what? What would happen then? Wasn’t it simply better if he quietly went about his week of household chores and outside labor?
Carefully, he lowered the book from where he had been clutching it to his apron-festooned chest. “I...understand...it’s different from what my big sister always told me... about good lies and bad lies...” He shifted a bit. “But...I...I’ll still...complete this...because I really will...get in trouble...if I don’t... and so will you...for not...watching me...and making sure I...I do it right...” He was stubborn as he was honest. He had earned himself this punishment. “Maybe...I can consider it...punishment...for lying to everyone instead?” He suggested softly, as if seeking the man’s approval.
Knowing he had to be careful, Sakaki slid his arms around Kabaji as best he could. “As long as you’re honest about it, you can consider the reason for your punishment to be whatever you want. I just don’t want you taking the fall for something you didn’t do. I’m just worried you’re going to get into more trouble for no reason. You’re too good a person for that.” Secretly he was furious with Ryuuzaki, but that wasn’t Kabaji’s problem.
Hugs were nice. Hugs were always nice, especially after they came after being so jarred both physically and emotionally. His frown softened to an almost smile and he wished his hands weren’t full so he could hug the man back. Hugs were always better when both parties were doing the hugging. “...U...Usu...” He rumbled his go to reply. He knew he would disappoint the man at least once more, when he completed his assigned essay, but that was a bridge to be crossed later. For right now, he just was glad for the hug and glad this man that he was a good person. “I...I’ll try not to lie anymore...but...I’ll still tell my sister...the dresses don’t make her...look fat...” Because there were bad lies, good lies, and lies that kept older siblings from murdering you in your sleep. “That’s...still okay right?”
In spite of himself, Sakaki laughed. “That’s not a lie, Kabaji-kun, that is self-preservation,” he said very matter-of-factly, “It is to be employed around females of all ages when asked about how dresses or other such things make them look. It’s good you have learned such a skill so early in life.” He pulled away slightly to take the book from Kabaji’s hands and set it on the coffee table before trying that hug again (it was highly uncomfortable to have the corner of said book digging into his throat as he was trying to be comforting). “What’s important is that you learn something from this whole incident. No one should have to rely on lies and deception. It’s not a reputation one ever wants to have... if they are decent human beings, that is.”
Sakaki had just laughed. A lot of tension went out of the boy. Laughter meant that the man was no longer mad. More so, he was being praised for something. He didn’t want to point out that life as a shut in meant that his sister had been the only female other than his mom he had any contact with. He couldn’t really compare but he would believe the man. If he said it was so, it was definitely so. Sakaki was worldly and wise like that. Kabaji hoped to be able to learn and apply more of his wisdom before he graduated.
He nodded a little more and let the book get taken. Another hug and this time, his arms were free. He was more than happy to give the man a gentle squeeze back. Gentle as possible, as he was aware that if he hugged too tight, it would be very unpleasant for Sakaki. He hugged back, soaking in the comfort the man gave. It made him more willing to open up. Just like when he would get small shoulder massages during dictation lessons, comfort was all he needed to open up a little more. He found himself whispering what he had hoped to keep to himself for all eternity. “It wasn’t me at all..but it was...sort of funny and really creative. But a waste of good jello. I could have made snacks for everyone with it...” Because to the large boy, food was for eating, not for pranking with.
“I know it wasn’t you,” Sakaki whispered back, muffled into Kabaji’s shoulder, unsure how much the boy would be able to hear. “One of my best ideas, actually... shame someone had to overreact like an idiot about it. And trust me, that was not worth eating. The school was being done a great service by having it magically disappear.”
Even that close, soft words vanished into hard muscle of his shoulder. He thought he had heard something. Had the teacher just...he didn’t know what to think of that. Of course teachers were people too. They had a sense of humor. They could pull jokes on people just like everyone else. Even Sakaki. But at the same time, Sakaki was a man he looked up to. He didn’t want to believe that he would do that and then stand by while everyone got snowed. Sakaki-sensei, to Kabaji, was a good and decent man. So obviously, he was hearing things.
He sighed softly, great chest raising and lowering in one sad little breath. “I...hope it’ll at least be easy to clean...I don’t want to take too long. I like chores...but I...also have scarves to make...for all the new students...and classes....” and their tutoring sessions. His creation ability was getting far easier to manage with the more confidence he gained. He could only equate that to the patient efforts of the teacher he was still hugging.
“I’m sure it will be,” Sakaki said, turning his head so he could be heard a little better, “You’ll have this all done and then you won’t have to worry about it any more. Then you can focus on things that are much more important.” He tightened his arms around Kabaji and sighed. “I don’t like this situation. It makes me feel uneasy and dissatisfied.”
He didn’t let go quite yet, dragging just slightly a little more comfort from the man before he knew that he was lingering too long. There was a proper length to a hug, especially to an adult that wasn’t family. He let go slowly and then carefully went about trying to make sure that his huge arms and warm hug hadn’t messed up the man’s immaculate attire. “I...wish she hadn’t...dragged you into this... I know you have...important things to do as a teacher...Especially since it’s the start of the year.” And this year, Kabaji was going to be in a lot more advanced classes himself. He was probably even going to be a large, quiet presence in the back of Sakaki’s manscarf class. “I know...you have a secretary...but while I’m here...cleaning, if you need anything...” It was the least he could do for the teacher, since the man had expressed his feelings on this very awkward and unpleasant situation.
“If I require anything, you shall be the first to know,” Sakaki replied, adjusting his jacket slightly. This situation was not to his liking, but he would deal with it, he supposed. Ryuuzaki-sensei will likely hear of it later, however. “Let me know if there is anything you need as well. Either with this or that awful essay she is making you write. I still wish you wouldn’t indulge her so.”
He grinned happily at that. Kabaji liked being useful. He knew the teacher wouldn’t take advantage of him or his ability. More so, he was surprised that the offer was given back to him. He didn’t think he needed anything. He wasn’t about to ask the teacher to help him do the work. Sakaki-sensei was only supposed to watch him to make sure he did it all and didn’t get any help from the other students. But since he had offered...
Lightly fiddling with his apron, the large boy muttered, “I...might need help with that... My essays...aren’t very good...” Being homeschooled for as long as he had been, Kabaji was aware that his academics weren’t exactly high school level, especially with writing, since he had been terrified of his creation ability going awry. “I’m...getting better at not being scared of writing things. You’ve been helping me...alot with that. But it’s still not very good...And...I don’t want to get bad marks...because of a bad essay...” He looked up, shyly. He didn’t know if this was indulging anyone. It would make Ryuuzaki-sensei happy and no one else would get in trouble and that’s what mattered.
“I’m sure your essay will be just fine,” Sakaki answered, “It will far exceed her expectations I’m sure.” He set his hand gently on Kabaji’s arm, squeezing softly and trying to appear reassuring. He would make sure Kabaji’s essay is precisely what Ryuuzaki wanted, not a word more and not a word less and he would make a herculean effort to keep the passive-aggression to a minimum.
The large boy grinned even larger. He was so grateful to this man. Even with this, even with the punishment and everything, the teacher was going to go out of his way for him yet again. Kabaji wished that he knew how he could repay Sakaki-sensei. Every time he offered the man something, he was turned down. Here, he could make anything that the man desired, but so far, he had been asked for nothing. Now, he was going to help with his essay. It was just another thing that he would owe this man for. It was another reason why he looked up to him so much. It was part of the reason why more and more, he wanted to be just like Sakaki-sensei when he got older. A thought that made him picture himself dressed as nicely as the man before him. He doubted Sakaki would appreciate the homage.
Smiling more, he straightened out his own little apron and took in the room around him. “I...I will come back here...after I’m done...with Ryuuzaki-sensei’s room.” Because of all the rooms he was going to clean, he wanted to make sure that Sakaki’s office was absolutely spotless.
“Sure,” Sakaki replied, relaxing and letting his mind wander to how he was going to restrain himself from punching the headmistress in the face the next time he saw her. Kabaji obviously had a heart too big for his own good, and Ryuuzaki had to know that - she also had to know the hulking boy couldn’t have come up with a prank that good to save his life, it’s very obviously not in his character to do something like that. “Take your time, I will come up with some ideas for your essay in the meantime.” Honestly, he had half a mind to write an essay of his own and switch it with the one Kabaji was going to write, but dismissed the idea when he realized that was probably exactly what that witch expected him to do.
What: Kabaji gets in touch with his inner maid and starts his week of punishment
When: backdated like woah, all the way back in April 3
Where: Sakaki’s office
Rating: PG
It was the first day of what was to be a week of labor intensive chores. Kabaji was certain that he would do best to start with the cleaning first. He already had his marching orders from Ryuuzaki sensei. For having pranked her, he had to clean all the offices and move around snow and write about why he had done what he had done. The only problem was that Kabaji hadn’t actually DONE anything. Yes, he had admitted to doing the prank, but he was certain that the teacher was aware that he wasn’t the one who had. He was also sure that that was why his punishment was so simple. It was something Kabaji could do easily. It would take time, but not a great deal of effort.
He was certain that whoever had pranked the headmistress was sitting back somewhere, glad that he had stepped up to take the blame. It wasn’t about being a martyr, it was about righting wrongs. Group punishment was wrong and he had fixed it. Yes, he felt deep cutting guilt for lying. It was wrong to lie and he had lied to teachers, fellow students, everyone. But there were good lies and there were bad lies. This was a good lie. It had helped others. Now he just had to stick to his story.
It would be difficult since he was supposed to meet up with Sakaki-sensei. He was going to have to look the man he looked up to so much in the face and lie again. He didn’t know if he could, but he knew he would have to. He was afraid that if it came out that he had been lying, everyone would be punished again. So it was better to just do it.
Gathering his courage and suppressing his guilt, he arrived at the teacher’s office. Sakaki was supposed to accompany him to make sure no one helped him...and to make sure he did his work. Setting his jaw, he quietly knocked on the door. “S....sensei..it’s me...I’m supposed to...report in here first?”
Sakaki sat on one of his loveseats and looked towards the door when it was knocked upon. “The door is open, Kabaji-kun,” he called, still a little awestruck about everything that had happened. Of course he hadn’t expected Ryuuzaki to take his little prank lying down, but he wasn’t sure what he liked least about the whole thing: punishing the whole school, or Kabaji “owning” up to it.
The large boy peaked in quietly before letting his head lead the way into the room. He wondered if he was going to get scolded by Sakaki too. He was certain that most the teachers would for pulling a prank, regardless of the fact the he wasn’t the sort of person who pranked others. He was sure if he did, he would feel worse than he did right now. He was certain that even non-psychics could feel the guilt rolling off of him.
He couldn’t look the man in the eye. He just couldn’t. The carpet was nice. It needed a vacuum though. But he would get to that after he cleaned Ryuuzaki’s office. He chewed on his lower lip for a moment, head hung in shame. “I’m sorry...you have to monitor me for this....I’m sure you have better things... I’ll try to do this quickly...” Save Sakaki some of his time. “I...If I do it well...she’ll know that I’m sorry for...what I did.” Something he hadn’t even known happened until the punishment of the school had taken place.
For a moment, Sakaki wondered just which one of them was being punished. “You haven’t done anything,” he muttered, a tad derisively, wiping some imaginary dust from the arm of his sofa. “I don’t like that you feel you have to do this, but I will not reproach you for it... it is very much too late for that.” He sighed heavily and got to his feet, rotating his shoulder to get some of the tension out of his muscles. All told, this ordeal was starting to be more trouble than it was worth. Would would have thought Ryuuzaki was so bad at taking jokes?
He heard the muttering and bit his lower lip harder. He wanted to grab the man by the shoulders and tell him! Tell him everything! Tell him how it was true and he hadn’t done anything. But he couldn’t. Now could he stand there and correct the man and say he had. Standing here before this man. he found he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t lie. It was much easier to do over journals than face to face.
He watched the man and frowned a little. He wondered why Sakaki seemed so...stiff. He frowned in worry. “I...I can do the inside stuff first...so you can stay seated...” Maybe he was feeling the effects of that injury he had had months back still. “I can even...lift the couches with you on them...so....” He looked up just slightly. “Don’t...strain yourself okay. You’re just...to make sure I behave...and don’t jello anyone else...I guess.” An impossibility unless he misused his creation ability.
Kabaji shifted a bit more. “I can cheat, right?” He was sure that Sakaki knew now that Kabaji considered using his powers as “cheating”.
Sakaki rolled his eyes. “You’re being punished for no reason after accepting punishment for a deed you didn’t do, you can use your powers however you please, I don’t care,” he said, turning away from Kabaji so the boy couldn’t tell he was pouting a little. As he walked back to his desk, he rotated his wrist until he heard a satisfying click in the joint - it wasn’t much, but it made him feel a little better. “If you want to do inside things first, be my guest.”
He smiled just a little. He was amazed that Sakaki wouldn’t be mad or tell the headmistress if he used his abilities to make the jobs easier. With his strength, the outside chores would be simple. With his other power...he could create a large array of cleaning things. “T...thank you, sensei.” While he was sure that the man was a bit disappointed in him, it didn’t seem a bad as he initially expected.
Quietly, he pulled out a little blue apron and started to put it on. It was far too small for his muscular frame but you didn’t clean without an apron. “I’ll work hard and I’ll make sure everything is...is perfect!” He would probably need a great deal of help writing the entry about his need to destroy property....since he hadn’t done it. Maybe Sakaki would help with that because Sakaki was amazing with words. Maybe pretty words would help make this all better.
Sitting down heavily at his desk, Sakaki made a herculean effort to hold his tongue, to restrain himself from pouncing on Kabaji and yelling until he figured out just what the boy knew and why he was continuing this ridiculous charade. “Do as you wish,” he murmured, pulling out his laptop and pretending to do some work. Secretly, he looked at all his office supplies and cursed himself for not having installed a camera to catch Ryuuzaki’s face when she realized her desk had been jello’d.
Kabaji would do just that. He hurried to busy himself with his tidying up on the teacher’s office. As he worked, he hummed softly, deep bass voice a low thrum of noise. It might be punishment, but at least he could try to enjoy himself. His big sister had always teased him that he would make a good house husband someday...whatever that meant.
He straightened up some of the books in the shelves before turning to glance at the man again. “She...wants me to discuss my need for...vandalism..and my...motivations... with you...after my punishment is done...” Thing was, Kabaji couldn’t really do any sort of discussion because he hadn’t done it. The only thing he could talk about was his motivation behind taking the blame and doing the punishment that should have been for someone else. He didn’t know if he was creative enough to continue to lie to this man during the “discussion.”
“That conversation will be such a waste of time,” Sakaki muttered, tapping angrily at his laptop, though it was really more of a mashing of keys rather than actual typing. Of course words were forming, but mostly in the form of a stream of consciousness consisting of all the things he would like to say about Ryuuzaki and this ridiculous charade, but knew would never be given voice. “What do you intend to tell her... when this is all over, I mean?”
Kabaji frowned and turned around to look at the man, taking one of the books he had been arranging and holding it to his broad chest. He might be a little slow, but he knew anger when he saw and heard it. Shoulder sunk. Sakaki was angry at him. Probably disappointed in him too. Kabaji didn’t know which was worse, angering the man or disappointing him. He held the book tighter and thought about it.
“I...I don’t know, sensei...I...I suppose I’ll tell her how sorry I am. And that I learned my lesson...and maybe that I was trying to be.... more like a normal student... Instead of...” he trailed off. Instead of what he was. Even with all the lessons he had with Sakaki over being more confident and expressing himself better and more eloquently, in the end, Kabaji was still Kabaji. He would always probably be a very very good boy that tried too too hard to please everyone. “I... I don’t have any better words...for it...”
Slamming his hands on the top of his desk, Sakaki stood up all at once. He walked over to Kabaji and (as best he could), roughly grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him just a little bit. “Goddamnit, Munehiro, don’t lie to me,” he growled, trying to keep the rage out of his voice, “I know you didn’t do this because I know who did. I’m not mad at you, but I hate that you’re taking responsibility for something you had no part in and I don’t want you to keep lying about it.”
For such a large boy, Kabaji was rather easy to startle and even easier to manhandle. He stood there, dumbfounded as he was shaken. He didn’t know what to do. He could only blink and try to process the sudden anger coming his direction. And on top of that...Sakaki-sensei, the man he looked up to; the man he wanted to maybe one day be close to becoming something like, had called him by his first name. And not in a good way like when Choutarou did it. This was the sort of thing that made him stop dead in his tracks.
“I....” He hesitated more than he ever had before. He was in quite a shock. “I...” He couldn’t look the man in the eyes at all. “it....it’s already...” How to say it. It was too late. He had made his bed, now he had to sleep in it. Perhaps Ryuuzaki-sensei knew and that’s why he was still being punished. Maybe she was trying to test his convictions to stand behind his selfless martyrdom. Maybe that was one too many maybes. He swallowed a lump forming in his throat and whispered, “I don’t really like lying...” In fact, it made him feel a little sick to his stomach, but there he was anyway.
Kabaji took a small breath and continued to stare at the carpet. “I...don’t know what to do...it’s gotten so big...and...if I tell the truth now...there will just be more trouble...” Which was the last thing he wanted for anyone.
Sakaki sighed heavily, his frustration draining out of him after his outburst. “I don’t want you to have to lie,” he said, for me, he added in his mind. “Nor do I want to have to compel you to tell the truth. White lies might not seem to hurt anybody but, sooner or later, you get caught in even the most innocent ones. It is much better to be honest and be in the wrong then to get bitten by your dishonesty. I don’t want to see your selflessness get you hurt.”
Now he really didn’t know what to do. He supposed he could end it right here. Confess to this man that his confession had been all a lie. The man knew it anyway. But then what? What would happen then? Wasn’t it simply better if he quietly went about his week of household chores and outside labor?
Carefully, he lowered the book from where he had been clutching it to his apron-festooned chest. “I...understand...it’s different from what my big sister always told me... about good lies and bad lies...” He shifted a bit. “But...I...I’ll still...complete this...because I really will...get in trouble...if I don’t... and so will you...for not...watching me...and making sure I...I do it right...” He was stubborn as he was honest. He had earned himself this punishment. “Maybe...I can consider it...punishment...for lying to everyone instead?” He suggested softly, as if seeking the man’s approval.
Knowing he had to be careful, Sakaki slid his arms around Kabaji as best he could. “As long as you’re honest about it, you can consider the reason for your punishment to be whatever you want. I just don’t want you taking the fall for something you didn’t do. I’m just worried you’re going to get into more trouble for no reason. You’re too good a person for that.” Secretly he was furious with Ryuuzaki, but that wasn’t Kabaji’s problem.
Hugs were nice. Hugs were always nice, especially after they came after being so jarred both physically and emotionally. His frown softened to an almost smile and he wished his hands weren’t full so he could hug the man back. Hugs were always better when both parties were doing the hugging. “...U...Usu...” He rumbled his go to reply. He knew he would disappoint the man at least once more, when he completed his assigned essay, but that was a bridge to be crossed later. For right now, he just was glad for the hug and glad this man that he was a good person. “I...I’ll try not to lie anymore...but...I’ll still tell my sister...the dresses don’t make her...look fat...” Because there were bad lies, good lies, and lies that kept older siblings from murdering you in your sleep. “That’s...still okay right?”
In spite of himself, Sakaki laughed. “That’s not a lie, Kabaji-kun, that is self-preservation,” he said very matter-of-factly, “It is to be employed around females of all ages when asked about how dresses or other such things make them look. It’s good you have learned such a skill so early in life.” He pulled away slightly to take the book from Kabaji’s hands and set it on the coffee table before trying that hug again (it was highly uncomfortable to have the corner of said book digging into his throat as he was trying to be comforting). “What’s important is that you learn something from this whole incident. No one should have to rely on lies and deception. It’s not a reputation one ever wants to have... if they are decent human beings, that is.”
Sakaki had just laughed. A lot of tension went out of the boy. Laughter meant that the man was no longer mad. More so, he was being praised for something. He didn’t want to point out that life as a shut in meant that his sister had been the only female other than his mom he had any contact with. He couldn’t really compare but he would believe the man. If he said it was so, it was definitely so. Sakaki was worldly and wise like that. Kabaji hoped to be able to learn and apply more of his wisdom before he graduated.
He nodded a little more and let the book get taken. Another hug and this time, his arms were free. He was more than happy to give the man a gentle squeeze back. Gentle as possible, as he was aware that if he hugged too tight, it would be very unpleasant for Sakaki. He hugged back, soaking in the comfort the man gave. It made him more willing to open up. Just like when he would get small shoulder massages during dictation lessons, comfort was all he needed to open up a little more. He found himself whispering what he had hoped to keep to himself for all eternity. “It wasn’t me at all..but it was...sort of funny and really creative. But a waste of good jello. I could have made snacks for everyone with it...” Because to the large boy, food was for eating, not for pranking with.
“I know it wasn’t you,” Sakaki whispered back, muffled into Kabaji’s shoulder, unsure how much the boy would be able to hear. “One of my best ideas, actually... shame someone had to overreact like an idiot about it. And trust me, that was not worth eating. The school was being done a great service by having it magically disappear.”
Even that close, soft words vanished into hard muscle of his shoulder. He thought he had heard something. Had the teacher just...he didn’t know what to think of that. Of course teachers were people too. They had a sense of humor. They could pull jokes on people just like everyone else. Even Sakaki. But at the same time, Sakaki was a man he looked up to. He didn’t want to believe that he would do that and then stand by while everyone got snowed. Sakaki-sensei, to Kabaji, was a good and decent man. So obviously, he was hearing things.
He sighed softly, great chest raising and lowering in one sad little breath. “I...hope it’ll at least be easy to clean...I don’t want to take too long. I like chores...but I...also have scarves to make...for all the new students...and classes....” and their tutoring sessions. His creation ability was getting far easier to manage with the more confidence he gained. He could only equate that to the patient efforts of the teacher he was still hugging.
“I’m sure it will be,” Sakaki said, turning his head so he could be heard a little better, “You’ll have this all done and then you won’t have to worry about it any more. Then you can focus on things that are much more important.” He tightened his arms around Kabaji and sighed. “I don’t like this situation. It makes me feel uneasy and dissatisfied.”
He didn’t let go quite yet, dragging just slightly a little more comfort from the man before he knew that he was lingering too long. There was a proper length to a hug, especially to an adult that wasn’t family. He let go slowly and then carefully went about trying to make sure that his huge arms and warm hug hadn’t messed up the man’s immaculate attire. “I...wish she hadn’t...dragged you into this... I know you have...important things to do as a teacher...Especially since it’s the start of the year.” And this year, Kabaji was going to be in a lot more advanced classes himself. He was probably even going to be a large, quiet presence in the back of Sakaki’s manscarf class. “I know...you have a secretary...but while I’m here...cleaning, if you need anything...” It was the least he could do for the teacher, since the man had expressed his feelings on this very awkward and unpleasant situation.
“If I require anything, you shall be the first to know,” Sakaki replied, adjusting his jacket slightly. This situation was not to his liking, but he would deal with it, he supposed. Ryuuzaki-sensei will likely hear of it later, however. “Let me know if there is anything you need as well. Either with this or that awful essay she is making you write. I still wish you wouldn’t indulge her so.”
He grinned happily at that. Kabaji liked being useful. He knew the teacher wouldn’t take advantage of him or his ability. More so, he was surprised that the offer was given back to him. He didn’t think he needed anything. He wasn’t about to ask the teacher to help him do the work. Sakaki-sensei was only supposed to watch him to make sure he did it all and didn’t get any help from the other students. But since he had offered...
Lightly fiddling with his apron, the large boy muttered, “I...might need help with that... My essays...aren’t very good...” Being homeschooled for as long as he had been, Kabaji was aware that his academics weren’t exactly high school level, especially with writing, since he had been terrified of his creation ability going awry. “I’m...getting better at not being scared of writing things. You’ve been helping me...alot with that. But it’s still not very good...And...I don’t want to get bad marks...because of a bad essay...” He looked up, shyly. He didn’t know if this was indulging anyone. It would make Ryuuzaki-sensei happy and no one else would get in trouble and that’s what mattered.
“I’m sure your essay will be just fine,” Sakaki answered, “It will far exceed her expectations I’m sure.” He set his hand gently on Kabaji’s arm, squeezing softly and trying to appear reassuring. He would make sure Kabaji’s essay is precisely what Ryuuzaki wanted, not a word more and not a word less and he would make a herculean effort to keep the passive-aggression to a minimum.
The large boy grinned even larger. He was so grateful to this man. Even with this, even with the punishment and everything, the teacher was going to go out of his way for him yet again. Kabaji wished that he knew how he could repay Sakaki-sensei. Every time he offered the man something, he was turned down. Here, he could make anything that the man desired, but so far, he had been asked for nothing. Now, he was going to help with his essay. It was just another thing that he would owe this man for. It was another reason why he looked up to him so much. It was part of the reason why more and more, he wanted to be just like Sakaki-sensei when he got older. A thought that made him picture himself dressed as nicely as the man before him. He doubted Sakaki would appreciate the homage.
Smiling more, he straightened out his own little apron and took in the room around him. “I...I will come back here...after I’m done...with Ryuuzaki-sensei’s room.” Because of all the rooms he was going to clean, he wanted to make sure that Sakaki’s office was absolutely spotless.
“Sure,” Sakaki replied, relaxing and letting his mind wander to how he was going to restrain himself from punching the headmistress in the face the next time he saw her. Kabaji obviously had a heart too big for his own good, and Ryuuzaki had to know that - she also had to know the hulking boy couldn’t have come up with a prank that good to save his life, it’s very obviously not in his character to do something like that. “Take your time, I will come up with some ideas for your essay in the meantime.” Honestly, he had half a mind to write an essay of his own and switch it with the one Kabaji was going to write, but dismissed the idea when he realized that was probably exactly what that witch expected him to do.