(no subject)
my birthday was okay i guess.
i went to MC today with peter because he had to go take the placement test thing. so i pretty much just sat outside the campus center building bymyself for like a hour. but i did sneak inside the art building just to check it out since thats probably where in going be in a couple years. even though i would love to go somewhere outside the U.S for college, like england or ireland. maybe ill start looking into art schools over there.i dunno what the fuck in doing with my life and im scared as fuck to get any older.
i realized that i dont do anything. i need to start doing things, real, exciting, things. i need to find something, a hobbie, and interest, a talent, something i good at. cuz right now my minds pretty much blank. i feel dead. its just an overly bummed feeling. the only thing thats somewhat cheering me up is someone told me i looked like jessica alba a few days ago. even though i dont see it.
if you keep telling yourself that you are and make yourself believe that your happy.. will you actually start feeling that way? just a thought
its hard having to wake up everyday knowing that hes not going to be there. having to come to the relazation that hes gone all over again. im starting to forget how long hes actually been gone. i've done this so many times. theres so much more i could say, about him, about us. but no words can explain how much i miss him. i think about him all the time.
i cant remember to forget you.
i love peter i really do. he makes me feel happy. its love, its just hard sometimes. [reasons are above].