I gotta' wake up, put on my make-up
Back again, this time listening to Lillix.
Unfortunately... My CD player is getting old, which means I have to like move it around to get a "signal". Sort of like a cell phone...
Right so, I love this cell.
Omigod... It really is a good song.
They're an inspiration to girl rockers everywhere...
Lots of these ...s huh?
Anyway. I don't know.
Just sort of depressed, I suppose. I mean, I really love my music, but if the freaking CD player is broken, then how am I supposed to listen to it? I would totally put it on the stereo, only then everyone would hear it, and then I would get lectured on how just because I don't need sleep, doesn't mean everyone else doesn't need it either.
I really, really, really wish with all my heart, that Demon would like me back.
I don't need to be told that "love (or even like) can be forced". You can do things to help make it happen, but if they don't love you, they don't love you. I should know. I totally freaked out when that guy told me he loved me! And, I still avoid talking to him, and ignore him as long it is possible. Yup. Call me a heartless cold bitch, or shallow, but that's just the way I am.
"Demon" and I are friends, and we've known each other for like, ever. If telling him how I feel means I'll lose him (as a friend AND a boyfriend) then... I don't have to tell him. I know that there's like a 2/1000 chance he might feel the same way... But you know how it is. That's only 2/1000...
I envy Kimmi on the whole boy thing. She actually has choices... And I can't even get ONE guy! Not ONE! But that's OK. According to my mom, I'm allowed to be single until I'm 30 before I'm labelled as a hopeless spinster.
If life were like the movies, I would so have Demon by now. But it's not. It's just reality. They say that imagination and fantasy is the ultimate weapon against our greatest foe -- reality. If so, then I just might survive the war.
No one ever comments on my entries, so I suppose it might as well be a private journal... But in a way, it's OK. I don't need others to be reading about my feelings and everything. Especially not the people I know. That could cause SO many problems. Way too many problems than I can handle right now.
Life is just so unfair... Even though I am a moody, cynical, emotional teen, it really honestly is. It seems as if I'm always sad... And I'm tired of it. I just wish I could be carelessly happy for once. If only Demon liked me back...
You know how they say people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones?
Well, I'm throwing stones right now. Even though I myself have crushed the hope of that Weird Guy, I expect that Demon will like me back. Like I said, I have so many faults.
If it were up to me, I would like Demon, Demon would like me. Maeg would like M, and M would like Maeg. We would all be happy, and Weird Guy can find some Weird Girl and whatever.
But it's not up to me... What a great big shame.
Onto a different topic: Barbie and Ken's relationship.
As a little girl, I remembered knowing, just knowing, that Barbie and Ken were the perfect plastic poster couple. They were both perfect. Barbie had all the feminine qualities - perfect-sized boobs, a slim waist, and long legs. Ken had all the masculine qualities - buff, muscles, and toned, and hairless, six-pack. Although as I grew older, I began to learn, and by the time I was 7 I was totally over Barbies, I always kind of thought that when everything in love went wrong, you could always be happy for, or hate, Barbie and Ken. Who knew that they would break up? Apprently, Barbie's gotten a new beau: Blaine, the Australian surfur dude.
Aargh. I'm tired...
Good night everybody.
Wish me luck with Demon (and everything else!)
xxmwah
Unfortunately... My CD player is getting old, which means I have to like move it around to get a "signal". Sort of like a cell phone...
Right so, I love this cell.
Omigod... It really is a good song.
They're an inspiration to girl rockers everywhere...
Lots of these ...s huh?
Anyway. I don't know.
Just sort of depressed, I suppose. I mean, I really love my music, but if the freaking CD player is broken, then how am I supposed to listen to it? I would totally put it on the stereo, only then everyone would hear it, and then I would get lectured on how just because I don't need sleep, doesn't mean everyone else doesn't need it either.
I really, really, really wish with all my heart, that Demon would like me back.
I don't need to be told that "love (or even like) can be forced". You can do things to help make it happen, but if they don't love you, they don't love you. I should know. I totally freaked out when that guy told me he loved me! And, I still avoid talking to him, and ignore him as long it is possible. Yup. Call me a heartless cold bitch, or shallow, but that's just the way I am.
"Demon" and I are friends, and we've known each other for like, ever. If telling him how I feel means I'll lose him (as a friend AND a boyfriend) then... I don't have to tell him. I know that there's like a 2/1000 chance he might feel the same way... But you know how it is. That's only 2/1000...
I envy Kimmi on the whole boy thing. She actually has choices... And I can't even get ONE guy! Not ONE! But that's OK. According to my mom, I'm allowed to be single until I'm 30 before I'm labelled as a hopeless spinster.
If life were like the movies, I would so have Demon by now. But it's not. It's just reality. They say that imagination and fantasy is the ultimate weapon against our greatest foe -- reality. If so, then I just might survive the war.
No one ever comments on my entries, so I suppose it might as well be a private journal... But in a way, it's OK. I don't need others to be reading about my feelings and everything. Especially not the people I know. That could cause SO many problems. Way too many problems than I can handle right now.
Life is just so unfair... Even though I am a moody, cynical, emotional teen, it really honestly is. It seems as if I'm always sad... And I'm tired of it. I just wish I could be carelessly happy for once. If only Demon liked me back...
You know how they say people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones?
Well, I'm throwing stones right now. Even though I myself have crushed the hope of that Weird Guy, I expect that Demon will like me back. Like I said, I have so many faults.
If it were up to me, I would like Demon, Demon would like me. Maeg would like M, and M would like Maeg. We would all be happy, and Weird Guy can find some Weird Girl and whatever.
But it's not up to me... What a great big shame.
Onto a different topic: Barbie and Ken's relationship.
As a little girl, I remembered knowing, just knowing, that Barbie and Ken were the perfect plastic poster couple. They were both perfect. Barbie had all the feminine qualities - perfect-sized boobs, a slim waist, and long legs. Ken had all the masculine qualities - buff, muscles, and toned, and hairless, six-pack. Although as I grew older, I began to learn, and by the time I was 7 I was totally over Barbies, I always kind of thought that when everything in love went wrong, you could always be happy for, or hate, Barbie and Ken. Who knew that they would break up? Apprently, Barbie's gotten a new beau: Blaine, the Australian surfur dude.
Aargh. I'm tired...
Good night everybody.
Wish me luck with Demon (and everything else!)
xxmwah