Jumping Jerks
I recently realized that, if I'm not careful, some jerks who are EXTREMELY BIG jerks can actually make other jerks around me look pale in comparison. Such nearsightedness when it comes to jerks is DEFINITELY not healthy (especially since my vision is HORRIBLE as it is), but, from what I've observed, most people do this at least once in their lives. Here's how it goes:
Someone you either love and trust or someone you have tons of faith in has the nerve to do something TOTALLY disheartening and/or betray you. Such a significant letdown immediately causes you to go into an "I-can't-BELIEVE-anyone-could-EVER-do-something-so-horrible-to-me!" mode. When one enters this state of mind, they can start to look at people they once thought were jerks in a softer light. In fact, when encountering someone you USED to think was a jerk after an EXTREMELY horrible larger-jerk letdown, one can often ask the dangerous and fatal questions of, "How could I ever think THEY were a jerk? They would have never done something like THIS to me! Was what he/she did WAY back then really THAT bad, anyway?" This bigger jerk-to-lesser jerk comparison is a little game I'd like to call "Jumping Jerks."
I've definitely played Jumping Jerks before . . . actually, more than I'd care to admit . . . and it NEVER makes me feel any better to do it. One of my most memorable jerk-jumps occurred a few months ago when I found out that a guy who I had been casually seeing and messing around with was ENGAGED. I had known this guy for almost two years and had never suspected a thing, so (needless to say) I was thrown into a downward spiral of shock and complete disbelief that he would go SO out of his way to deceive me, just so he could get what he THOUGHT he was going to get out of me.
Later that night, I happened to bump into one of my ex's (who had cheated on me). It was raining hard outside and his car was parked on the other end of the parking lot. The umbrella he happened to have didn't look like it was in it's prime, either . . . so, I did what I usually NEVER did under those circumstances . . . I started feeling REALLY sorry for him. Many thoughts ran through my mind, such as, "Well . . . I had no PROOF that he ever cheated on me . . . and, HONESTLY, he just doesn't seem like the cheating kind! After all, I haven't really seen him with anyone . . . maybe I should offer him MY umbrella? He looks so pathetic standing there . . . " Let's face it, after encountering the painful shock of Engaged Guy, I could have probably talked myself into believing my ex was Mother Theresa! Yet, the fact remained--he was STILL a jerk. Perhaps not as BIG a jerk as Engaged Guy, but a jerk nonetheless.
Luckily, I was able to talk myself out of actually HUMANIZING Mr. Cheater-Ex. Once my emergency sense of practicality kicked in, I realized that Mr. Cheater-Ex was merely at the right place at the right time, and if I would have let ALL my "He really isn't THAT big of a jerk" thoughts take over, something dangerous definitely had the potential of happening.
The moral of this story is to brace yourself after encountering a BIG jerk. Such LARGE jerks have the power to make lesser jerks (who are still jerks nonetheless) look like nice guys. When one's judgment is clouded after a particularly traumatizing jerk experience, it can be hard to make a conscious decision . . . and vulnerability sets in. Jumping Jerks usually only occur when one sees a lesser jerk RIGHT after a BIG jerk. Therefore, it is probably best to seclude oneself after such a bad experience, if only for the purpose of protection against jerks who may not look like it.
Someone you either love and trust or someone you have tons of faith in has the nerve to do something TOTALLY disheartening and/or betray you. Such a significant letdown immediately causes you to go into an "I-can't-BELIEVE-anyone-could-EVER-do-something-so-horrible-to-me!" mode. When one enters this state of mind, they can start to look at people they once thought were jerks in a softer light. In fact, when encountering someone you USED to think was a jerk after an EXTREMELY horrible larger-jerk letdown, one can often ask the dangerous and fatal questions of, "How could I ever think THEY were a jerk? They would have never done something like THIS to me! Was what he/she did WAY back then really THAT bad, anyway?" This bigger jerk-to-lesser jerk comparison is a little game I'd like to call "Jumping Jerks."
I've definitely played Jumping Jerks before . . . actually, more than I'd care to admit . . . and it NEVER makes me feel any better to do it. One of my most memorable jerk-jumps occurred a few months ago when I found out that a guy who I had been casually seeing and messing around with was ENGAGED. I had known this guy for almost two years and had never suspected a thing, so (needless to say) I was thrown into a downward spiral of shock and complete disbelief that he would go SO out of his way to deceive me, just so he could get what he THOUGHT he was going to get out of me.
Later that night, I happened to bump into one of my ex's (who had cheated on me). It was raining hard outside and his car was parked on the other end of the parking lot. The umbrella he happened to have didn't look like it was in it's prime, either . . . so, I did what I usually NEVER did under those circumstances . . . I started feeling REALLY sorry for him. Many thoughts ran through my mind, such as, "Well . . . I had no PROOF that he ever cheated on me . . . and, HONESTLY, he just doesn't seem like the cheating kind! After all, I haven't really seen him with anyone . . . maybe I should offer him MY umbrella? He looks so pathetic standing there . . . " Let's face it, after encountering the painful shock of Engaged Guy, I could have probably talked myself into believing my ex was Mother Theresa! Yet, the fact remained--he was STILL a jerk. Perhaps not as BIG a jerk as Engaged Guy, but a jerk nonetheless.
Luckily, I was able to talk myself out of actually HUMANIZING Mr. Cheater-Ex. Once my emergency sense of practicality kicked in, I realized that Mr. Cheater-Ex was merely at the right place at the right time, and if I would have let ALL my "He really isn't THAT big of a jerk" thoughts take over, something dangerous definitely had the potential of happening.
The moral of this story is to brace yourself after encountering a BIG jerk. Such LARGE jerks have the power to make lesser jerks (who are still jerks nonetheless) look like nice guys. When one's judgment is clouded after a particularly traumatizing jerk experience, it can be hard to make a conscious decision . . . and vulnerability sets in. Jumping Jerks usually only occur when one sees a lesser jerk RIGHT after a BIG jerk. Therefore, it is probably best to seclude oneself after such a bad experience, if only for the purpose of protection against jerks who may not look like it.