Are you all ready for a long one?
Ok ok ok. A lot has gone on since I last posted. I don't know if ya'll are ready for this, or even if you'll want to hear it. It's the good, the bad, the ugly, the really ugly, the missing you alls, CANADA, and all the other stuff. So if ya'll have you're popcorn and favorite Stuffy, I shall begin.
Hokay. So as you know, I am single :(. Yea I know. Sad. But it deifnitely was fun while it lasted, and he is a great guy. Will things change? I don't know. I can't see the future, and I won't dwell on it. So single is the way I will be.. until that changes? [I'm so good at stating the obvious].
Anyways.. I was thinking over life, and it's many complications, [boys, girls, friends, animals, boogie monsters, school, hot chocolate, etc.] and decided that life needs to be taken each day. I don't believe that life is temporary.. ok, it's temporary in the fact that eventually we will die. But I don't believe that we should [excue my french] Le "dowhateverthefuckwewant" thinking that temporary is what it is. I believe every action causes and equal and opposite reaction. [it's proven you know]. I think that life has to be laughed at in order to survive it. While I was thinking and debating this, I discovered that [even though there is something extremely mentally wrong with me] physically, I am fine. There's nothing wrong with me. Relationships don't work out. It happens. I also discovered, that 1.] I don't know who I am anymore, 2.] I don't know what I want anymore, 3.] I don't know what I need [besides chocolate].
In order to move on with life, graduate high school, then in December graduate LBCC, and move on to Junior year at a University, I need to figure out those 3 things.
That was the ugly. The uglier comes now. As most of you know, I have been hanging with a certain group of friends for awhile now. As of recently, I have split from that group do to finally seeing their true nature, and the fact that i was being lied to and used. I'm still not frineds with most of that group. I have kept the important ones, the ones that I value truly, and ignored the rest. I view that experience as a vital one in life. As Janet says "it's all a part of growing up." But seriously, can anyone ever view me as grown up?
The good [and CANADA] I have become bored with my surroundings, and have decided to go on an adventure. I have decided to visit my family's cabin up on the Canadian border from March 2nd - the 5th. I'm excited. I've never ventured far away without my parentals and it will be an interesting experience. ALthough I have not chosen my traveling partner[s], I do hope to have some. I'll bring back souveniers.. providing there's money to do so.
All the other junk - I have narrowed my college choices to 2. Portland State, and OSU. I can major in Environmental Studies in either college, and I just can't decide! Either way, I'M MOVING OUT OF LEBANON!! I hope to get a house and have roomies, and a splendid time. Everyone must come and visit when this dream of mine comes true [there is no option for it not].
- I will have 1st and 2nd periods at the high school next trimester so i can finish grad. requirements. [both econnections] come see me or get classes with me?
The I miss yous. I miss you all very very much. I think there should be a coastal adventure sometime soon. I was going to get the lodge for my birthday, but it was beingn remodled. Now that is coming to an end, and I'll see what strings I can pull to have a weekend there. :] I'll definitely update you all.
Hope this wasn't too depressing, enlightening, or earth shattering.
<<<<<<<<3
Hokay. So as you know, I am single :(. Yea I know. Sad. But it deifnitely was fun while it lasted, and he is a great guy. Will things change? I don't know. I can't see the future, and I won't dwell on it. So single is the way I will be.. until that changes? [I'm so good at stating the obvious].
Anyways.. I was thinking over life, and it's many complications, [boys, girls, friends, animals, boogie monsters, school, hot chocolate, etc.] and decided that life needs to be taken each day. I don't believe that life is temporary.. ok, it's temporary in the fact that eventually we will die. But I don't believe that we should [excue my french] Le "dowhateverthefuckwewant" thinking that temporary is what it is. I believe every action causes and equal and opposite reaction. [it's proven you know]. I think that life has to be laughed at in order to survive it. While I was thinking and debating this, I discovered that [even though there is something extremely mentally wrong with me] physically, I am fine. There's nothing wrong with me. Relationships don't work out. It happens. I also discovered, that 1.] I don't know who I am anymore, 2.] I don't know what I want anymore, 3.] I don't know what I need [besides chocolate].
In order to move on with life, graduate high school, then in December graduate LBCC, and move on to Junior year at a University, I need to figure out those 3 things.
That was the ugly. The uglier comes now. As most of you know, I have been hanging with a certain group of friends for awhile now. As of recently, I have split from that group do to finally seeing their true nature, and the fact that i was being lied to and used. I'm still not frineds with most of that group. I have kept the important ones, the ones that I value truly, and ignored the rest. I view that experience as a vital one in life. As Janet says "it's all a part of growing up." But seriously, can anyone ever view me as grown up?
The good [and CANADA] I have become bored with my surroundings, and have decided to go on an adventure. I have decided to visit my family's cabin up on the Canadian border from March 2nd - the 5th. I'm excited. I've never ventured far away without my parentals and it will be an interesting experience. ALthough I have not chosen my traveling partner[s], I do hope to have some. I'll bring back souveniers.. providing there's money to do so.
All the other junk - I have narrowed my college choices to 2. Portland State, and OSU. I can major in Environmental Studies in either college, and I just can't decide! Either way, I'M MOVING OUT OF LEBANON!! I hope to get a house and have roomies, and a splendid time. Everyone must come and visit when this dream of mine comes true [there is no option for it not].
- I will have 1st and 2nd periods at the high school next trimester so i can finish grad. requirements. [both econnections] come see me or get classes with me?
The I miss yous. I miss you all very very much. I think there should be a coastal adventure sometime soon. I was going to get the lodge for my birthday, but it was beingn remodled. Now that is coming to an end, and I'll see what strings I can pull to have a weekend there. :] I'll definitely update you all.
Hope this wasn't too depressing, enlightening, or earth shattering.
<<<<<<<<3