Lost, and never found

Aug 01, 2004 18:01

"I'm sittin' here all by myself
just tryin' to think of something to do
Tryin' to think of something, anything
just to keep me from thinking of you
But you know it's not working out
'cause you're all that's on my mind
One thought of you is all it takes
to leave the rest of the world behind" PWT's

I never understood why everything has to seem so hard. Ive tryed my best at everything i do, and it seems i can never pull out on top. Whenever i find something i like to do, or a person i like to be with, I always tend to mess things up. I never mean to they just do. I mean i know i cant be perfect, no one can, but why is it that i find some way to mess up everything thats going good for me. im constantly fighting to keep myself happy and in doing that i always find a way to mess up what i have. I always get down on myself about everything, everything that goes wrong is in some way my fault, and thats the way i think. Now that im going into college i can only think of one person that makes me truly happy, and shes gonna be here well i go away, and i wont get to see her 1/10 as much. I dont know what makes me happy anymore besides her. Ive tryed to find things, people, or games that will make me happy but i dont know what will anymore (maybe drugs, ehh who knows...j/k). I know i just think to much about things, but i cant help it. People say try not to think about it so much, but then all ill think about is trying not to think about it, so in the end i go in a big circle and go back to the exact same point. I never understood why everything has to seem so hard.

"as days go by i swear i'll try
(i'll wait for you) until i die, anything for you" .HawH.
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