disco bloodbath
story time..lol
its umm mostly all made up.....some isnt...its more a drabble..no one really in mind..just being bored and lame..and me :)
i guess it started with pot, because what teen's story of spiraling out of control doesnt start with pot. ok maybe some people would say that it might have been the shoplifting but i did get better after that happened. it took another two years till it all turned to shit. so anyways, weed, started it all, and i guess well after that it was a slow progression of drugs, i think e was next. yea i sent that shit spiraling into my system every weekend for a month, then i got sick of it and craved something more intense, so my dealer gave me coke .see the thing thati hated most about e was it made me into a hyper idiot. i told T [my dealer] about how i felt to hyper and all over the place. i liked the sex, no i loved the sex but i couldnt take the hyperness thats why he gave me coke. it was like i instantly felt at ease, like nothing in the world could hold me back. i would cut these fat, hollywood lines and do them, then go out and face the people in my life. i was relaxed, at ease, untill my body started decomposing. i lost my sexy shape, i lost my boyfriend, my family, my hygiene, everything. all i cared about was getting my next hit. i think the real blow, threw it all was when i lost my job, with out a job how would i afford to pay for my drugs, and T wasnt the kind who would just give me them now and get paid later. he knew there was no way of me paying him back, so he just left me to rot. but i didnt rot. for some reason someone sent me a copy of disco blood bath by james st james. and i took it to heart. i realized what road i was going down, and decided to try and turn my life around. ive been reading that book everyday since ive been in rehab, thinking "if james can do it, why cant i?"
i sometimes wonder if ill ever get better...
yea i know..its shit .....
its umm mostly all made up.....some isnt...its more a drabble..no one really in mind..just being bored and lame..and me :)
i guess it started with pot, because what teen's story of spiraling out of control doesnt start with pot. ok maybe some people would say that it might have been the shoplifting but i did get better after that happened. it took another two years till it all turned to shit. so anyways, weed, started it all, and i guess well after that it was a slow progression of drugs, i think e was next. yea i sent that shit spiraling into my system every weekend for a month, then i got sick of it and craved something more intense, so my dealer gave me coke .see the thing thati hated most about e was it made me into a hyper idiot. i told T [my dealer] about how i felt to hyper and all over the place. i liked the sex, no i loved the sex but i couldnt take the hyperness thats why he gave me coke. it was like i instantly felt at ease, like nothing in the world could hold me back. i would cut these fat, hollywood lines and do them, then go out and face the people in my life. i was relaxed, at ease, untill my body started decomposing. i lost my sexy shape, i lost my boyfriend, my family, my hygiene, everything. all i cared about was getting my next hit. i think the real blow, threw it all was when i lost my job, with out a job how would i afford to pay for my drugs, and T wasnt the kind who would just give me them now and get paid later. he knew there was no way of me paying him back, so he just left me to rot. but i didnt rot. for some reason someone sent me a copy of disco blood bath by james st james. and i took it to heart. i realized what road i was going down, and decided to try and turn my life around. ive been reading that book everyday since ive been in rehab, thinking "if james can do it, why cant i?"
i sometimes wonder if ill ever get better...
yea i know..its shit .....