write the damn novel!
the title of this blog post is one of my New Year's Resolutions. i have been starting, stopping, swearing off, swearing at, pondering, visualizing, theorizing, bouncing ideas off therapists, and otherwise contemplating this damn novel ever since i finished the last one, which was in 2003. i've had the idea(s) forever, have created all the characters long ago, have developed all of these scenes and setpieces. but i cant ever make myself write the fucking thing down. there are bits and pieces of it scattered all over the place, but nothing coherent.
it was at some point after losing my job, and after the C.O., that i finally figured out why i really wanted to write this, and why its lingered in my head for the past 7 years without getting done. and once i did figure that out, well, then it was obvious to me that i have to write this damn thing, because i'm not ever going to seriously write anything else until i finish it. so damn it, thats what i'm doing in 2011. write the damn novel!
for all that i swear about it, its actually been fun to write so far. i have great characters. they're very entertaining. well, one is just fuckin' evil, but the rest are entertaining. the book is called Within (its changed names and shapes about 3 times in the last 7 years, as well), and it has a somewhat complex structure. every chapter is a day on a calendar between May 24-Sep. 23, and there are 8 different distinct plotlines, or 'themes' if you will - a different day brings a different storyline. it sounds like a lot to juggle, but the themes run somewhat independent of each other, or run parallel, so its not as hard to do as you might think. and since each theme is about a different character, has a different tone, tempo, etc., i can sort of write whichever i'm in the mood for. some days i'm poetic, some days i'm just a raving lunatic. all of it works. i have a whole shell built, and so i just a pick a day on the calendar and write it.
i was really cranking away at this novel in Dec. and during our holiday trip to L.A. (where the weather was so lousy that i didnt feel like doing anything else), but i havent gotten much done this week - KC is in Baltimore, and the house is empty, and its SO FUCKING QUIET THAT I CANT STAND IT. like i may have before in this blog, that cliché of retreating to your cottage or mountain cabin to write the Great American novel is total fucking bullshit. at least for me. the silence makes me so nuts that i start talking to the cats just to hear the sound of a voice. i will be very happy when she is home tomorrow. increased levels of happiness will return.
anyway, thats what i'm doing these days, in lieu of having an actual job or anything. i've been overly focused on it since December, to the point where i am pretty scatterbrained and dysfunctional about everything else. its just something i feel a need to do. i'm not even concerning myself with notions of publishers, etc. i dont care about that at this point. you cant control that realm. all you can do, in the end, is make it as hard as possible for them to say no. and i have to say, if i can pull this off, this novel could be really hard to say no to. its gonna be pretty damn cool.
it was at some point after losing my job, and after the C.O., that i finally figured out why i really wanted to write this, and why its lingered in my head for the past 7 years without getting done. and once i did figure that out, well, then it was obvious to me that i have to write this damn thing, because i'm not ever going to seriously write anything else until i finish it. so damn it, thats what i'm doing in 2011. write the damn novel!
for all that i swear about it, its actually been fun to write so far. i have great characters. they're very entertaining. well, one is just fuckin' evil, but the rest are entertaining. the book is called Within (its changed names and shapes about 3 times in the last 7 years, as well), and it has a somewhat complex structure. every chapter is a day on a calendar between May 24-Sep. 23, and there are 8 different distinct plotlines, or 'themes' if you will - a different day brings a different storyline. it sounds like a lot to juggle, but the themes run somewhat independent of each other, or run parallel, so its not as hard to do as you might think. and since each theme is about a different character, has a different tone, tempo, etc., i can sort of write whichever i'm in the mood for. some days i'm poetic, some days i'm just a raving lunatic. all of it works. i have a whole shell built, and so i just a pick a day on the calendar and write it.
i was really cranking away at this novel in Dec. and during our holiday trip to L.A. (where the weather was so lousy that i didnt feel like doing anything else), but i havent gotten much done this week - KC is in Baltimore, and the house is empty, and its SO FUCKING QUIET THAT I CANT STAND IT. like i may have before in this blog, that cliché of retreating to your cottage or mountain cabin to write the Great American novel is total fucking bullshit. at least for me. the silence makes me so nuts that i start talking to the cats just to hear the sound of a voice. i will be very happy when she is home tomorrow. increased levels of happiness will return.
anyway, thats what i'm doing these days, in lieu of having an actual job or anything. i've been overly focused on it since December, to the point where i am pretty scatterbrained and dysfunctional about everything else. its just something i feel a need to do. i'm not even concerning myself with notions of publishers, etc. i dont care about that at this point. you cant control that realm. all you can do, in the end, is make it as hard as possible for them to say no. and i have to say, if i can pull this off, this novel could be really hard to say no to. its gonna be pretty damn cool.