Having a really hard time.
Im really low today. Like major.
Just have no life in me and just dont want to face anyone or anything. I only feel safe when im at home.
I am just so low i need anti d's again but cant take them Im trying my hardest to keep smiling but its so bloody hard.
And its ok people saying i dont need Steve etc and to forget him but when u have a part of that person growing inside you its bloody hard.
His phone was on last night but he is ignoring me, and he has not replied to my email.
How on gods earth can he just throw me and the baby aside like that. Now because of him i have to go another 5 months, give birth and look afer this baby on my own.
And when its big enough and starts lookign like him and asking questions why it has no dad.. shit.
I just pray to go it looks nothing like him i dont think i could be reminded every day of him and what we had and what he did to me.
Plus tomorow i have to go to the fucking hiv clinic and start 3 meds and they have bad side efects, so i have to go through that alone as well.
Then that guy i was meeting today... he text me last night, well midnight to say his ex would not have the boys after all.
We had a fight about it and i fell asleep crying. Apparently his bitch ex wife has spent the kids xmas present money on going out so she cant have them cause she feels bad.
SHES always letting the kids down apparently.
So now we have to wait while it ok for her to have the boys before we meet so our lives revolve around her.. bitch.
Im jsut having hte shittiest day so far.... i can teven have a fuckign drink... wonderful.
Just have no life in me and just dont want to face anyone or anything. I only feel safe when im at home.
I am just so low i need anti d's again but cant take them Im trying my hardest to keep smiling but its so bloody hard.
And its ok people saying i dont need Steve etc and to forget him but when u have a part of that person growing inside you its bloody hard.
His phone was on last night but he is ignoring me, and he has not replied to my email.
How on gods earth can he just throw me and the baby aside like that. Now because of him i have to go another 5 months, give birth and look afer this baby on my own.
And when its big enough and starts lookign like him and asking questions why it has no dad.. shit.
I just pray to go it looks nothing like him i dont think i could be reminded every day of him and what we had and what he did to me.
Plus tomorow i have to go to the fucking hiv clinic and start 3 meds and they have bad side efects, so i have to go through that alone as well.
Then that guy i was meeting today... he text me last night, well midnight to say his ex would not have the boys after all.
We had a fight about it and i fell asleep crying. Apparently his bitch ex wife has spent the kids xmas present money on going out so she cant have them cause she feels bad.
SHES always letting the kids down apparently.
So now we have to wait while it ok for her to have the boys before we meet so our lives revolve around her.. bitch.
Im jsut having hte shittiest day so far.... i can teven have a fuckign drink... wonderful.