Sifting through memories like Sand
I've noticed something about me. I'm very self-destructive. Whenever I have something great going for me I fuck it up somehow. I'm starting to wonder if I have a fear of being content, dare I say happy even. I'm so used to being down that maybe I'm afraid to be happy b/c I know it will only lead to being down again. Who knows, I fucked up big with Kat, she's so extraordinary. She's the girl guys wish for. and today I broke up with her. I knew I shouldn't have but I have a lot going on and it wouldn't be fair to her. Idk I feel like a complete asshole right now, I'm going to go drown myself in cigarette smoke and self-loathing
catch you later
catch you later