Argh.
Today, I got an Xpresspost mail from the University of Guelph giving me an offer of admission. I've decided that I'm not gonna go to any university in the fall. My marks suck, I'm gonna HAVE to take summer school and night school and re apply for the winter semester.
Everything involves money. This Greece trip is starting to be REALLLY BAD. It conflicts with my exams and it's eating all the money i COULD've saved for university. Plane ticket and hotel and everything... it's too late now, I'm representing team Canada at the MEN'S World Championships. I really dont stand a chance, dont tell me to be optimistic, I KNOW it for a fact that i'm going to get my ass kicked. I'm also not just saying this because i'm not so happy right now, but it's true. It was a joke how I surprisingly won the tryouts. I really wish I could've backed out of competing when I still had time to.
I'm in such a fucked up situation now. What is it that's planned for my life? I really should've just said NO to the World Championships and that would've made it better a bit. I'm stupid, I screwed up and I think I made the wrong decision. I really can't see how Taekwon Do is gonna get me somewhere far in life and earn lots of money for living, priority should've been school, THEN all the other stuff. I'm dumb because somehow I forgot my priorities.
Parents are already bragging to all my relatives, "phil's going to guelph blah blah blah. phil's going to world championships blah blah blah..." DAMNIT SHUTUP. Asian parents dont see how stressed their kids get. I'm good at hiding things and well though it might appear that I am getting along with my parents, I'm actually not, I just dont want to tell them that I disagree with them on many things. They'll get pissed and yell at me etc.. How are they going to tell their relatives now that I'm not going to guelph in the fall?
Argh so pissed off right now. My day was good too, I'm not even in the mood to finish my hwk now. I know it's another stupid decision to not finish my hwk tonight but I dont care anymore because I'm going to sleep. It's late anyways and I'll forever be an average person and get average marks whether I do my homework or not.
Everything involves money. This Greece trip is starting to be REALLLY BAD. It conflicts with my exams and it's eating all the money i COULD've saved for university. Plane ticket and hotel and everything... it's too late now, I'm representing team Canada at the MEN'S World Championships. I really dont stand a chance, dont tell me to be optimistic, I KNOW it for a fact that i'm going to get my ass kicked. I'm also not just saying this because i'm not so happy right now, but it's true. It was a joke how I surprisingly won the tryouts. I really wish I could've backed out of competing when I still had time to.
I'm in such a fucked up situation now. What is it that's planned for my life? I really should've just said NO to the World Championships and that would've made it better a bit. I'm stupid, I screwed up and I think I made the wrong decision. I really can't see how Taekwon Do is gonna get me somewhere far in life and earn lots of money for living, priority should've been school, THEN all the other stuff. I'm dumb because somehow I forgot my priorities.
Parents are already bragging to all my relatives, "phil's going to guelph blah blah blah. phil's going to world championships blah blah blah..." DAMNIT SHUTUP. Asian parents dont see how stressed their kids get. I'm good at hiding things and well though it might appear that I am getting along with my parents, I'm actually not, I just dont want to tell them that I disagree with them on many things. They'll get pissed and yell at me etc.. How are they going to tell their relatives now that I'm not going to guelph in the fall?
Argh so pissed off right now. My day was good too, I'm not even in the mood to finish my hwk now. I know it's another stupid decision to not finish my hwk tonight but I dont care anymore because I'm going to sleep. It's late anyways and I'll forever be an average person and get average marks whether I do my homework or not.