Anger!
I am about to make a really childish rant but hell that's what LJ is for right? I am going to FUCKING KILL DANA! I don't know how many times we had the conversation for her not to talk, message, comment, ect with Rachel. It just pisses me off so bad that she holds me to this double standard that I try to live up to not to upset her. I know I shouldn't be this way and it is very controlling of me but I just want to talk to Rachel so bad and see if she really wants to be friends with her. I want to tell her all the mean, hurtful, horrible things that dana did to me. I won't go into detail because I just can't but what she did to me amounts to rape in my mind. Not near as violent as usual but still it equates. I don't use that word lightly as Rachel and some of you know what I have been through. It just makes me irritated and I just want to smack her head against concrete. I should have told her that the reason why I closed my eyes during sex wasn't because I liked it, I was just trying to imagine someone else. I'm a fucking bitch but maybe this rage will keep me awake during this midnight shift. *scream*