.soooo...
.new pic...
.so uh...things haven't livened up with my father...
.still arguing like crazy. .this past sunday before he left to drop off my brother and sister in columbus will and asian came over to see ally off. .it was time for ally and kyle to leave and my dad called me into his room. .he asked me what the guys were gonna do after he left. .and i told him that i was going to play ddr and see if they wanted to play. .my dad then looked at me and said 'the reason you wanted to stay down here is to spend time with me. .nobody else...so that means you can't have any friends over and i don't want you to go anywhere. .you will stay in this house for the next two weeks. .then i told him i wasn't aware that i couldn't see my friends at all and he started to walk off and he said 'i don't care...do whatever you want.' .so he left.
.hours went by and he called me and said 'i'll be home in 30 minutes and i'm hungry. .what do you want for dinner.' .i said i didn't care and i reminded him that i didn't eat meat. .and he goes 'well i really want spaghetti. .are you able to cook the meat even though you don't eat it?' .i said 'uuuuhhh...sure...why not.' .and he flipped...AGAIN. .he said 'i've been driving for five fucking hours and i just want to come home to a decent fucking meal. .can you cook the meat? .or is that too hard for you. .i'm tired of you being a bitch about everything. .forget it...i'll cook it when i get home.' .so i hung up the phone. .i went and sat down on the couch and cried again. .then i got up, went to the kitchen, boiled water, put the noodles in the water, and then grabbed the meat out of the freezer. .i had to TOUCH the raw fucking meat to get it from the plate to the pan. .touch raw meat. .after almost puking...i cooked the meat. .i looked around for spaghetti sauce and couldn't find any. .so i called up my dad and simply said 'dad...we are out of spaghetti sauce.' .then i hung up the phone. .everything is made...all we needed was the sauce. .i went upstairs and got on the computer and then i hear my dad calling me. .i run downstairs and into the kitchen and he's pointing at the stove yelling 'what the hell is this.' .i pointed out the fact that it was spaghetti. .he yelled at me saying 'i told you not to fucking bother. .i told you i would do it dammit.' .so i went into the living room and sat down and watched t.v. .my dad walked in with a plate of spaghetti piled high and a drink. .the fucking spaghetti i had made. .he looked at me and said 'jesus...stop crying.' .i stood up and looked at him and said 'dad, enjoy your meal.' .and i walked off.
.today...i woke up and got some breakfast. .i walked upstairs and i was watching t.v. in my brothers room. .ally called me and talked to me for five minutes. .then caleb called me and about five seconds after caleb called me, my dad called me downstairs. .so i stood at the top of the stairs and i said 'yes sir?' .and he goes 'i'm cutting the grass and i need your help.' .and i didn't fully understand him so i said 'you need help with the grass?' .and he said 'forget it...just talk on the phone with your friends like you always do...i knew it was a mistake to let you stay down here.' .so i ran to my room and started punching the wall. .i got dressed into a shirt and shorts and tennis shoes. .i went downstairs into the garage where my dad was and i told him i was going to go bike riding. .he walked to the car that he was working on and said 'where are you going?' .i told him that i was just going to ride around. .and he looked at me and said 'you're not going with any of your friends? .where are you friends at? .are you going ot meet up with them on this 'bike ride'?' and i looked at him and said 'no. .i am simply going on a nice relaxing bike ride by myself and you are more than welcome to come if you want to make sure i don't meet any of my friends.' .and he yelled at me again telling me that i could do plenty around the house and i don't. .if i do my chores it's because he asks me to. .which is completely not true. .i have been vaccuming, cleaning the kitchen and sweeping the floor everyday this week. .why would i not do those things? .to purposely piss my dad off so i can get yelled at again? .so i told him 'fine...i'll go clean the kitchen.' .and he said 'no you're not.' .you are not going to touch anything of mine in this household. .you aren't not going to watch my t.v., you are not going to get on any of the computers that i paid for, and you aren't allowed to use my phone. .just go sit in your room until tomorrow. .and it was about 3:00 in the afternoon. .so.
.yeah...if you read all of this...then you are amazing.
.and if you do read this...and you plan to comment...don't leave me a comment trying to say 'oh your dad just this and you're dad just that.' .it's harder than that and you aren't in my shoes. .and don't leave me a comment talking about how bad your life is...my life might not seem that bad to you...but it is to me right now. .so let me have my grief and my frustration. .don't throw you're life in my face.
.so.....yeah.
.
.so uh...things haven't livened up with my father...
.still arguing like crazy. .this past sunday before he left to drop off my brother and sister in columbus will and asian came over to see ally off. .it was time for ally and kyle to leave and my dad called me into his room. .he asked me what the guys were gonna do after he left. .and i told him that i was going to play ddr and see if they wanted to play. .my dad then looked at me and said 'the reason you wanted to stay down here is to spend time with me. .nobody else...so that means you can't have any friends over and i don't want you to go anywhere. .you will stay in this house for the next two weeks. .then i told him i wasn't aware that i couldn't see my friends at all and he started to walk off and he said 'i don't care...do whatever you want.' .so he left.
.hours went by and he called me and said 'i'll be home in 30 minutes and i'm hungry. .what do you want for dinner.' .i said i didn't care and i reminded him that i didn't eat meat. .and he goes 'well i really want spaghetti. .are you able to cook the meat even though you don't eat it?' .i said 'uuuuhhh...sure...why not.' .and he flipped...AGAIN. .he said 'i've been driving for five fucking hours and i just want to come home to a decent fucking meal. .can you cook the meat? .or is that too hard for you. .i'm tired of you being a bitch about everything. .forget it...i'll cook it when i get home.' .so i hung up the phone. .i went and sat down on the couch and cried again. .then i got up, went to the kitchen, boiled water, put the noodles in the water, and then grabbed the meat out of the freezer. .i had to TOUCH the raw fucking meat to get it from the plate to the pan. .touch raw meat. .after almost puking...i cooked the meat. .i looked around for spaghetti sauce and couldn't find any. .so i called up my dad and simply said 'dad...we are out of spaghetti sauce.' .then i hung up the phone. .everything is made...all we needed was the sauce. .i went upstairs and got on the computer and then i hear my dad calling me. .i run downstairs and into the kitchen and he's pointing at the stove yelling 'what the hell is this.' .i pointed out the fact that it was spaghetti. .he yelled at me saying 'i told you not to fucking bother. .i told you i would do it dammit.' .so i went into the living room and sat down and watched t.v. .my dad walked in with a plate of spaghetti piled high and a drink. .the fucking spaghetti i had made. .he looked at me and said 'jesus...stop crying.' .i stood up and looked at him and said 'dad, enjoy your meal.' .and i walked off.
.today...i woke up and got some breakfast. .i walked upstairs and i was watching t.v. in my brothers room. .ally called me and talked to me for five minutes. .then caleb called me and about five seconds after caleb called me, my dad called me downstairs. .so i stood at the top of the stairs and i said 'yes sir?' .and he goes 'i'm cutting the grass and i need your help.' .and i didn't fully understand him so i said 'you need help with the grass?' .and he said 'forget it...just talk on the phone with your friends like you always do...i knew it was a mistake to let you stay down here.' .so i ran to my room and started punching the wall. .i got dressed into a shirt and shorts and tennis shoes. .i went downstairs into the garage where my dad was and i told him i was going to go bike riding. .he walked to the car that he was working on and said 'where are you going?' .i told him that i was just going to ride around. .and he looked at me and said 'you're not going with any of your friends? .where are you friends at? .are you going ot meet up with them on this 'bike ride'?' and i looked at him and said 'no. .i am simply going on a nice relaxing bike ride by myself and you are more than welcome to come if you want to make sure i don't meet any of my friends.' .and he yelled at me again telling me that i could do plenty around the house and i don't. .if i do my chores it's because he asks me to. .which is completely not true. .i have been vaccuming, cleaning the kitchen and sweeping the floor everyday this week. .why would i not do those things? .to purposely piss my dad off so i can get yelled at again? .so i told him 'fine...i'll go clean the kitchen.' .and he said 'no you're not.' .you are not going to touch anything of mine in this household. .you aren't not going to watch my t.v., you are not going to get on any of the computers that i paid for, and you aren't allowed to use my phone. .just go sit in your room until tomorrow. .and it was about 3:00 in the afternoon. .so.
.yeah...if you read all of this...then you are amazing.
.and if you do read this...and you plan to comment...don't leave me a comment trying to say 'oh your dad just this and you're dad just that.' .it's harder than that and you aren't in my shoes. .and don't leave me a comment talking about how bad your life is...my life might not seem that bad to you...but it is to me right now. .so let me have my grief and my frustration. .don't throw you're life in my face.
.so.....yeah.
.