I bet you love this, Don't you?
God... I just cannot stay happy. Why is God doing this to me? I just want to be happy. I dont like coming home, I don't like being at school. I cant stop thinking about a certain someone. He fucking broke my heart worse than anyone else. I try and find happiness in something, and it blows up in my face. I'm sick of floating on hopeless dreams. I am sick of being optimistic and nice, because when I'm that way, I'm treated like I'm stupid. But when I say whats on my mind, or I am a little angsty, I should be making out with the fucking guillotine? I don't understand what the fuck you people want me to be. Even those who give encouraging words, you fucking judge me too. I know it. I'm not a moron, despite what you may think. I don't want to be alive anymore. I really don't. Im sick of always having to put up a front. I am always holding a smile on my face, when inside I am carving myself raw. I'm not going to live up to anyone's expectations but my own. Anyone who doesn't like it... fuck off. I don't fucking need you that bad anyways. And if by some fucking chance, Leo is reading this. I hope you fucking rot in hell. I tried getting over it, but man, you fucked me over so bad. Just hope to god I never see you in person. What you did to my heart, I will do to your fucking throat. I'm sick of everyone. I need to get away.