Letters to the lost
Dear Mother,
I am sorry. As I drown in my self-pity I am blinded by the pain of others and the burden that I have become. Having deep depression does not just come and go,it stays for me and it is true that misery loves company. I had no intention of hurting you and I had not seen the monster...more like nightmare that I now am. I will try to change,I will try to be well. It harms me to know that I am not normal,and the void in my heart grows daily. I am a parnoid schizophrenic and manic depressant,and I need to shout it to the world with no shame. It is what I will have to live with,and the hallucinations and voices will never change. I promise I will try to go back to school,to walk down those halls and be normal...to think normal...to breathe normal air. If only angels would prevail I would have no mental illness,and yet I wouldn't be me. I will face my paranoia and if I lose myself with the fight I want you to know that I love you,I think. I can not trust anyone or myself. I hate what everything had become.
imsorry,
-PANSY