"do you know what it feels like being alone? i'll find someone new..."
I just reviewed close to 4 months of Bio and then some. I'm all Bio-ed out for today. I realized the other day that I actually ENJOY Bio. I don't hate it like Geo-Phys (what WAS that anyway??) or Chem. I prefer Bio. It makes more sense to me. Less math. Less math= good. But I hope I'm well prepared for Saturday. I think I am. I'll be fine.
I have the overwhelming urge to write in my journal. My real one, that is. I'm too lazy. I'll just wind up doing a private entry. Typing is much more convenient.
I'm sick of NHS. I'm sick of people talking about it, I'm sick of the hypocrisy, I'm sick of all the competition. Betsy's right. People in our school are just too focused on being the best at everything. It's too much for me to deal with.
Today at school I noticed that suddenly every couple has turned into Alecs and Drew impersonators. What is with that? Even like freshman are all over each other. Doesn't anyone have any respect for their peers who would rather not watch that every day?? Couples make me sick.
My fear of love coupled with my inability to trust does not make a good combination. I have to learn how to step out of my comfort zone with things like that. Maybe I'm paranoid or something, but a lot of the time I feel like people are out to hurt me. Thinking about it, I know that's not the case, but I can't help but listen to that voice in the back of my head that asks if I can trust someone everytime I divulge a secret or even a fact about me that I may deem embarassing. But I really wish I could learn to just let go of that and have more faith in people. The fear of love thing is big right now, also. I guess it's part of my lack of trust in people. I'm afraid I'll never find the right person. Or I'll let the right person go because of something stupid.
(How did I let that slip through my fingers??)
I have the overwhelming urge to write in my journal. My real one, that is. I'm too lazy. I'll just wind up doing a private entry. Typing is much more convenient.
I'm sick of NHS. I'm sick of people talking about it, I'm sick of the hypocrisy, I'm sick of all the competition. Betsy's right. People in our school are just too focused on being the best at everything. It's too much for me to deal with.
Today at school I noticed that suddenly every couple has turned into Alecs and Drew impersonators. What is with that? Even like freshman are all over each other. Doesn't anyone have any respect for their peers who would rather not watch that every day?? Couples make me sick.
My fear of love coupled with my inability to trust does not make a good combination. I have to learn how to step out of my comfort zone with things like that. Maybe I'm paranoid or something, but a lot of the time I feel like people are out to hurt me. Thinking about it, I know that's not the case, but I can't help but listen to that voice in the back of my head that asks if I can trust someone everytime I divulge a secret or even a fact about me that I may deem embarassing. But I really wish I could learn to just let go of that and have more faith in people. The fear of love thing is big right now, also. I guess it's part of my lack of trust in people. I'm afraid I'll never find the right person. Or I'll let the right person go because of something stupid.
(How did I let that slip through my fingers??)