lost in my own life...
Ok I dont kno any more...Megan and Ashley tell me that I have to stop lieing to myself so that I can b happy...Megan just got done telling me that the one person that I though it might workout with that it wont bc hes not what Im looking 4 and tha we r both just leading eachother on...Sometimes I just wonder if Im ment to b here or if everthing just got fucked up and Im in the wrong place...I feel like my life is a big lie and I have nuttin to look 4 in it...Im really sad about some stuff that I was just told by my 2 best friends... and I just dont kno what Im going 2 do now...I just wish that I was never told that anyone loved me bc I dont kno who does and who dont...I really think that I should just give up on Aaron...I really dont wanna b with him so I Dont kno y I think I Do...I mean what do u do when u though that everthing was going to b good again and then it all comes back in ur face...I really do like Sean a lot and he says that he dont wanna get attached 2 another girl...so I guess that nuttin is going 2 happin with us and it dont matter anyways bc Ill never c him...but just thinging about it makes me cry...bc I really like him and though that it may work...well kno that I kno its not I dont kno what Im going to wake up 4 in the morning and if Im even going 2 go 2 bed happy now bc evernight Sean tells me he loves me and I tell him I love him and good night and now that I kno everything is just a lie in my life I just dont kno what 2 think anymore....I dont even kno what love is...I give up Im out