In another random thinking mood...
Lifes not that complicated. so then why does it seem so difficult?
If I want something bad enough, why can't I achieve it?
How can I want something, yet at the same time not want anything at all?
Confusion. I'm drawn between two decisions and I'm somehow, somewhere stuck in the middle.
I need some time to figure all of this out. But as never ending as it seems, time will only last for so long.
I've heard you say it under your breath, "your life is going nowhere", and I can't disagree. I know what I've done, but I'm unsure of how to fix it.
Independence. If I've learned anything, its depending on others for anything will leave you with nothing in the end. The only one that TRUELY cares about you, is yourself. You go through life in the presence and company of many, but in reality, your alone.
One day, none of "this" is going to matter.
You can say you care all you want and that your there to listen, but really, all your there to do is criticis.
As a kid we played pretend. We pretended to fly, and we made up imaginary friends. As we grow up we also play pretend. We pretend not to feel the pain and rejection that we receive day after day, and pretend not to give a fuck. But its all just a game. A never ending game, that helps us hide away our true pain and fear. But you can only hide for so long.
There is so much I wish I could go back and change. So much I've taken for granted. I feel as if I'm slowly loosing everything and everyone that has ever truely mattered, and it's all my fault.
P.s.
I'm sorry.
For everything.