Expectations
So,
a hippy love post is forthcoming concerning my amazing New Year's holiday.
Right now, however, I have to talk about taking days off. Everyone decides that some days, they just can't do it. They just can't face the office, and call in.
Yesterday I took off due to illness, a LA traffic thing, and general exhaustion following the fabulous New Year's holiday.
Korean doctors, 2 hours in line at the traffic court, and a bad day was had.
In looking back at the past the past few years of taking days off, I find that on most of them I wound up upset.
Is it guilt? As a little kid, when I would fake sick so I could stay home, I would often wind up genuinely sick.
Is it mere circumstance? It always appear to be so, but two plus years of this happening makes me wonder if I should maybe stop. Perhaps spontaneous days off are not me. I lose the money I would have made as well as having a bad time.
Anyway, I don't have any answers. It will be a while until I try again.
Just a cause and effect that I'm curious about in my life.
I titled this expectations because maybe that's where most of the sadness comes from-on spontaneous days off I always think maybe I'll go to a movie or have lunch with friends or watch my soaps or do one of the day things I never get to do. And due to bad circumstance, i still never get to do it.
Blech.