(no subject)
no.
that's where you're wrong.
Put family above everything else?
When family is the reason for so much of this chaotic unsettlement?
The reason for my complete and utter hatred of the space between these stoic walls?
The reason i lost all trust in you?
The reason i dread the holidays, they've become a ridiculous custody battle
The reason i hide everything
The reason i scan the stands, the auditorium, for a face i already know isn't there
The reason i keep doing these stupid things that i shouldn't be doing, don't want to be doing, but can't help but do
The reason i have come to view school as a haven instead of home
The reason i just want to get away, away
The reason you never see me
The reason you don't know me
The reason for everything?
how could i possibly justify and rationalize placing such a hateful, dissapointing villain over things that make me happy, make me feel purposeful, useful, acutally alive, rather than the prop that sits beneath your fingers and accomplishes nothing? The concept? The concept has been shot ever since that day, that sunday, you sat me down and ripped it out, twisted it, gnarled it between your flimsy hands, tied it around my neck, and every day that passes, you pull it tighter and tighter. How much more can I take? The air i breath is already used, in goes the bad, out goes the good. I'd have to be masochistic to put this translucent institution above everything else.
there's something to be said for difference of opinion. but unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be in your vocabulary. your way or the highway? i'd take the trip.
maybe family's done something for you that i've missed, but if not, i feel the deepest sorrow for you, for if it's the best you've ever known.... hanging on to beliefs? maybe if you act it out, it'll come true? well, let me be the first to inform you, a play is NOT reality. i've been in enough of them to know. they're only a way to escape reality for a bit, but it's always there, harsh and blinding, when you return.
do you want to keep playing this game until i leave? until chelsie leaves? until jessica leaves? is that how you want it? pretend that you have a difficult decision to make?
..remember, 'the end result does not justify the means'? you hung it on the fridge, put it on a gleaming pedestal. but you have no idea what it means. you use it as a justification, oh, the irony.
yes, maybe i shouldn't have done it, but that's merely hindsight. you've had years and years of opportunities to at least put things in the right direction, instead of sitting there, bemoaning what befalls you, letting it blow by you like the wind. you're the most passive person i know. you're a doormat of idiocracy and hypocrisy.
i'm sorry.
but i won't do it.
i'm not going to spend my life living out your convictions.
that's where you're wrong.
Put family above everything else?
When family is the reason for so much of this chaotic unsettlement?
The reason for my complete and utter hatred of the space between these stoic walls?
The reason i lost all trust in you?
The reason i dread the holidays, they've become a ridiculous custody battle
The reason i hide everything
The reason i scan the stands, the auditorium, for a face i already know isn't there
The reason i keep doing these stupid things that i shouldn't be doing, don't want to be doing, but can't help but do
The reason i have come to view school as a haven instead of home
The reason i just want to get away, away
The reason you never see me
The reason you don't know me
The reason for everything?
how could i possibly justify and rationalize placing such a hateful, dissapointing villain over things that make me happy, make me feel purposeful, useful, acutally alive, rather than the prop that sits beneath your fingers and accomplishes nothing? The concept? The concept has been shot ever since that day, that sunday, you sat me down and ripped it out, twisted it, gnarled it between your flimsy hands, tied it around my neck, and every day that passes, you pull it tighter and tighter. How much more can I take? The air i breath is already used, in goes the bad, out goes the good. I'd have to be masochistic to put this translucent institution above everything else.
there's something to be said for difference of opinion. but unfortunately, it doesn't seem to be in your vocabulary. your way or the highway? i'd take the trip.
maybe family's done something for you that i've missed, but if not, i feel the deepest sorrow for you, for if it's the best you've ever known.... hanging on to beliefs? maybe if you act it out, it'll come true? well, let me be the first to inform you, a play is NOT reality. i've been in enough of them to know. they're only a way to escape reality for a bit, but it's always there, harsh and blinding, when you return.
do you want to keep playing this game until i leave? until chelsie leaves? until jessica leaves? is that how you want it? pretend that you have a difficult decision to make?
..remember, 'the end result does not justify the means'? you hung it on the fridge, put it on a gleaming pedestal. but you have no idea what it means. you use it as a justification, oh, the irony.
yes, maybe i shouldn't have done it, but that's merely hindsight. you've had years and years of opportunities to at least put things in the right direction, instead of sitting there, bemoaning what befalls you, letting it blow by you like the wind. you're the most passive person i know. you're a doormat of idiocracy and hypocrisy.
i'm sorry.
but i won't do it.
i'm not going to spend my life living out your convictions.