who knows.
am i the only person who sometimes just gets so mad about things that she has to fight with herself about writing snotty lil emails. i think back to the days when jake and i first broke up and i told him i didnt want anything to do with him in my life, that i just couldnt stand seeing him and so on. that we were either gonna work things out or just leave each other the fuck alone. and he fought me so hard until i caved and we hung out. and now its switched. he always said wed be friends. those were his words. then he changed his mind nad it turned into "we were friends before we dated so why should we be friends now?" and whatever. idk. i wish this didnt both me so much but i guess... i just cant stand to have someone that i WANT to talk to, not want to talk to me. you know? theres people in my life who i would say "ah well, if they decided tomorrow to never talk to me again id be perfectly ok with that and whatever my life would move on without a hitch" cause they really arent like an "essential" part of my life.. but jake was at one point he hasnt been for almost a year. but he used to be, and i think its hard to let people like that go. oh well.. i realize theres nothing i can do, but sometimes i feel like writing him an email just yelling about how he changed his mind and how before it was all " why cant we just be friends, i cant live without u in my life somehow". i guess that was all talk. idk. i know an angry email isnt going to solve anything.. just cause more problems.. thats why im writing it here instead.
so yeah anyways...
i baked tonight. josh came over and we made brownies and a M&M cheesecake... pretty cool i think. never seen an M&M cheesecake before... the m&m's make a really cool design on the top of the cake. but yeah... im making dinner tomorrow night too. Steak, my famous cheese and bacon mashed potatoes and homemade bisquits. i love spoiling the guys in my life. i wish bryan, adrian and andrew lived closer so i could make them like really cool lil baskets of their fav things and bake them stuff. i think taht was the best thing about freshman year was baking stuff for jake and zach.. and like making them gift baskets of movies,posters, and lil dollar store toys. hah.. i wonder if they still have any of it.
i just hate feeling like people make impacts in my life.. but im not sure i impact theirs.
sound stupid?
well im going to bed. night guys ttyl
so yeah anyways...
i baked tonight. josh came over and we made brownies and a M&M cheesecake... pretty cool i think. never seen an M&M cheesecake before... the m&m's make a really cool design on the top of the cake. but yeah... im making dinner tomorrow night too. Steak, my famous cheese and bacon mashed potatoes and homemade bisquits. i love spoiling the guys in my life. i wish bryan, adrian and andrew lived closer so i could make them like really cool lil baskets of their fav things and bake them stuff. i think taht was the best thing about freshman year was baking stuff for jake and zach.. and like making them gift baskets of movies,posters, and lil dollar store toys. hah.. i wonder if they still have any of it.
i just hate feeling like people make impacts in my life.. but im not sure i impact theirs.
sound stupid?
well im going to bed. night guys ttyl