beep part 1
Title: Tuned In
Pairing: Xiumin centric with Xiumin/Luhan and Xiumin/Chen
Rating: PG-13
Genre: DJ!Xiumin AU, Romance, Drama
Length: ~13.5K (uni is killing me softly OTL)
Summary: Join Kim Minseok as he learns more of himself flourishes his craft and finds the right wire to channel the sparks of his heart after his relationship mistakes with Lu Han and Kim Jongdae.
Warnings: Sprinkled with little profanities and overboard kissing.. and bad proofreading
*A/N: can't fit in 1 post. sorry!*
For the first time, I will share my love story to my listeners due insistent public demand. I prepared a month to narrate this.
I took a deep breath because this is going to be a little long. It was five years since I got this show with that someone but he left to settle down in his province with his wife after two years, and the show got rebooted. With the reboot, I get to do what I want, which happened to be running for three years even that includes listening to callers and their stories only to give them pieces of advice.
It was all thanks to my mistakes. My mistake of giving up easily and letting them have their happiness in the company of others. At least, because of them, I met my dream girl three years ago. The recording booth's "ON AIR" sign lit up as the music cues in.
"Good Evening Everyone! It's your adorable Love Adviser Min here. Due to insistent public demand and today is the third anniversary of this program, I will finally reveal my story. I do warn you, it is quite juicy. Here I go." I grabbed the piece of printed paper containing the story and started reading.
-
I'm Kim Minseok. I was locally known as DJ Seokkie by our avid listeners until I changed my screen name to DJ Xiumin or now known as Love Adviser Minseok. Why do I change into a lot of screen names? I change a lot because every past screen name has a sad back story that affected my job, even it is hard to admit.
My love story revolves around with me finding somebody who could make the electricity flowing, only to be rejected or even worse, die out after trying to work it out. The worst case scenario happened twice. They wrecked me like an overused plug until I found the one.
It used to need a hand squeeze for me to say it before I met them. When I hold someone's hand for a minute, sparks will just go through my body like live wire.
I really don't know how this happened but since the time I entered schooling, I have been confessing to people up to the point that the people became confused on who I really like more. Playing with friends requires a lot of joining hands.
It is my own special ability that I can't control up to now. I could be someone who easily falls in love, yet I am not sure of the concept of love.
As a 24-year-old adult, my coworkers in the workplace regardless of gender are my victims when I accidentally feel a person's body temperature.
In my stay here, I have confessed to 5 girls and 2 boys that I like them very much, but I try to say it in a non-romantic way. People may say that I am bisexual, but I don’t conform to labels. I love who I love.
When I do confess, the girls would usually respond with “Aww, You are too cute but let’s only be friends." and the guys would admit that they were touched by my kindness as good sunbae yet they warned me that I could be mistaken as "someone who looks like idol/actress Ahn Sohee".
Yet I am still friends with them, as most of the station's staff are nice fellows to me.
Until one day, after my noon shift, the Chairman introduced me to a Chinese investor about my age. He introduces himself as Lu Han, who is an heir to Lu Deer Companies. They don't sell deer; by the way, it goes by their tag line, "Our Company’s reach is growing, as fast as a deer".
He is doe eyed, baby-faced, and charming. He is also a thin lad with the right amount of muscle.
Apparently, as the Chairman says beforehand, his family invests his money mainly on the multimedia arts industry. He flew here in Korea for him to prove himself a worthy heir.
Since he took a particular liking with the radio station as he likes our segments, he proposed to us a Chinese version for one of our radio dramas to be broadcast.
For some reason, the Chairman appointed me to tour him around. I was nervous as it was my first time to tour people. Good thing that Lu Han knows Korean at a native speaker level that broke the language barrier. I did my best introduce him to everyone while touring him. He talked in a shy and soft-spoken way, but everyone accepted him warmly.
I showed him every department until our legs hurt. He only paid attention to me, nodding now and then.
At the end of the tour, he perked up and asked, "Do you like coffee? I'll treat you."
I can't say no to coffee and a person offering to treat me to one so I agreed to show him to my favorite cafe beside the station, the most relaxing place after working hours.
-
Upon arriving, we scurried to my favorite spot, a table by the side window. We ordered two hot cups of coffee and cake slices. Since the owners of the cafe are my friends, Jongin and Kyungsoo, they already know what flavors I usually prefer. They also served their specialty cookies to Lu Han.
We talked not just about the negotiation, but also about soccer. We found ourselves engaged in a discussion about our favorite teams and the recent World Cup results.
As we finished everything, he paid and challenged me to play one-on-one with him. He shook my hand as we looked forward to a happy friendship. He left afterward.
With just that handshake, my wires are active again. We could be inseparable; we have a lot in common. Can we be more than friends?
The thing with getting sparks is that they give me happiness somehow. They give me more youthful vibes. They also made me hope for better shared moments with Lu Han.
This motivated me to do my job better. That led me to do "Toooop 10!" instead "In top 10, here's...”. I even received love-calls that they are glad that I became more energetic.
It is all because of his electricity flowing to my heart.
We usually hang out by the nearby park. Our one-on-one plays are frequent. When we are done, we would run to the nearest food kiosk that made me wonder if he is really a business tycoon-to-be.
Our love for soccer does not end with playing it. We would discuss more soccer up to things each thing a prized soccer player endorses.
He even drops me off my place yet he would stay longer. He would chat with me more there, and he would include Sehun, my roommate and co-worker, and Zitao, my friendly Chinese neighbor. He and Zitao would have Mandarin conversations that would leave me and Sehun in awe of their speed.
Lu Han was basically in good terms with everyone despite his rich status. Well, I'm not after his money, I was after his love.
-
A month after we met, I was called by the Chairman in his office. As I opened the door, he was gleefully inviting me.
"Minseokkie, I am planning to revamp your show. I want you to have talk show segment in your shift, aside from top 10. A longer shift is waiting for you too."
I felt shocked by the news that my body trembled.
"W-when do I start?"
"Next week. We just announced it. We have big expectations for you."
"Eh? Thank you dear Chairman."
I bowed away until I got out of the office. I feel really grateful to the station and that feeling intensified when my Sehun dragged me out to the cafe.
It turns out that Jongin and Kyungsoo closed the cafe for us and they even bothered to bake twice more cookies than they sell in a day. All of my coworkers are there, and Zitao even showed up holding a banner that says "CONGRATS MINSEOKKIE!”
Most importantly, a familiar figure went out from the comfort room. It was Lu Han, holding another congratulatory banner. I was grateful with this small gathering. Lu Han even joined the planning without my knowledge.
It turns out that the Chairman agreed to give me a new segment because of Lu Han's request. He watched me do my shift, and was astounded at the change.
The people were happy eating all of the cookies and partying. It was happy to see Jongin and Kyungsoo eat their pieces of hard work. They were too busy serving others.
Night came and my favorite people are at my place. Jongin and Kyungsoo brought more cookies, Sehun and Zitao grilled pork for the samgyeopsal in the kitchen, and Lu Han bought two cases of beer cans. It was an after-party indeed. More chattering in between chomping meat ensued until Lu Han unpacked the cases. I went up and placed a pitcher of water on the table.
"Ah, it’s unfair Minseokkie." Lu Han protested.
"Well, I still need to work tomorrow Luhannie." I usually call him Luhannie to jokingly annoy him. He doesn't mind, as he likes to call me Minseokkie frequently.
"Please, let Minseokkie have his water Mr. Lu. Kyungsoo and I have a coffee shop to run tomorrow too." Jongin supported.
"Fine." Luhan agreed half-heartedly as he chugs one can before us.
As me and the others finish one can, I noticed that Lu Han was nearing to get his third can. He was really hyperactive.
"Minseokkie is the best thing I could get. We are more than just mere friends. I like him sooo much."
Drunken people often say truthful things and I feel touched by his statement. I remember this now as a bad idea.
It gave me the urge to drink three cans up straight. It's crazy and I would regret this, but it gave me the courage to let him know my feelings.
I was supposed to kiss him on the cheek but my lips landed on his lips. Everything got black.
-
It was morning when I woke up. I feel a little dizzy. Lu Han wrapped me tight in his arms, sleeping. I still have all of clothes on and the room is clean but not the Minseok way. It missed a lot of spots that I immediately inferred that it was Sehun. I immediately looked for him and found him brewing coffee and cooking breakfast for a change.
"Minseokkie-hyung, you are a beast while being crazy drunk. Jongin and Kyungsoo even left early since they can't handle it. Tao and I kept you from going out." Sehun looked really tired.
"I'm sorry to cause you trouble, but I'm happy you had the initiative to clean our mess."
"I will do this only this time hyung, it is tiring. I still can't believe you and Lu Han are a thing. You were exchanging love messages with him while pretending to make a goal!" He even tried to re-enact it to me.
Sehun told me more stories. Luhan and I danced to Rain's Hip Song, belted out ballads in tune to everyone's surprise and jumping on the bed before we slept on the same bed. I blushed while afraid of the fact that Sehun witnessed more of my antics but at least he served breakfast. While eating, somebody covered my eyes.
"Guess who, I missed you so much, Minseokkie."
It was a recently woken up Lu Han, obviously.
“How could you miss me if you slept beside me?" I was grinning as he uncovers my eyes.
“You jumped out of the bed a few minutes before. Can I miss you for that my love?" He even went close to my ear and whispered, “I knew you kissed me deep last night. You should have told me that you like me too."
I underestimated him. We liked each other. That was a first for the record.
"Now Lu Han, are you accepting my love?"
"I am sending love bullets before we personally met. I listen to you and your recommendations a lot while learning Korean."
He was my fan boy and it took me a year to prove that.
"Really?"
"Yes, check out the fan mail sometimes."
"No need, Luhannie. I love you."
"I love you too, Minseokkie."
We shared a hug that made Sehun roll his eyes with all of the cheesiness happening.
Our relationship was that fast was the first lesson I learned looking back.
-
Before he left the apartment, he gave me a file about my first talk show guest. My first guest is Chinese actor Wu Yifan, who is currently shooting a movie in Korea.
Apparently, as I study the file, my talk show will feature both local and foreign stars in Korea. It motivated me to strive better. My resolve strengthened as I saw a small note:
"Goodluck my love. -Luhannie "
I started practicing in the mirror to keep myself ready since that was my first job on my promotion.
-
The day of the first talk show airing came. I did my best as usual with my Top 20 until its talk show time. Wu Yifan was a tall guy and looks intimidating that made me tremble.
I took a deep breath and enthusiastically did the interview.
He was actually a kind and dorky person when spoken to. The interview went smoothly. I can see people outside giving me thumbs up as we go off air.
Afterwards, he told me something.
"You are close with Lu Han right? Always keep your eyes open. He might break you like somebody I know."
"Huh? Whose heart Lu Han broke?" I am shocked.
"You will find him soon. He is also scheduled for an interview. He was someone close to me but I have to go."
He gave me a pat on the shoulder and his contact as I gave him mine. Weirdly, my love for Lu Han is stronger than his even with the touch I dread to fall with.
I was into Lu Han deep and I was a fool to not analyze Wu Yifan’s statements as early at that time.
-
I decided to go to the fan mail room but I rarely check them because I often reply on SNS. I immediately noticed that an overflowing pile of mail for me formed. I grabbed a few on top yet as I opened it, they were from Korean girls complimenting me. It prompted me to talk to good old mailman.
"Mr. Mailman, if you happen to dig in a letter sent by someone Chinese while organizing letters, could you please hand it to me?"
"I will, yet I found one out of these. There are many letter of the same person but I shall look at them." He put out an expensive looking letter addressed to me. It is signed by him. He really was not joking and he even sent a lot.
I thanked the mailman and went to the cafe.
The cafe has a few people within this time and it gave Jongin and Kyungsoo to rest before the afternoon rush hours. They sat with me as I read the letter which sent a a year before we met:
“To DJ Seokkie,
I am from Beijing but I study here in Seoul!
I listen to you during my break and I am happy that you even put Mandarin songs in your top 20.Give me a shout out sometime!
With love bullets,
Lu Han"
Something flashed to me that Sehun gave his name to shout it out months ago. Jongin and Kyungsoo as also avid listeners of my segment remembered it too.
I asked them, "Why I did not notice this until now?"
" It is because you were too conscious of your emotions" Kyungsoo said.
"I suddenly remembered that you straight up confessed to both of us when we first met." Jongin added as we laughed at a memory.
The afternoon rush began and their customers started to come until Lu Han came too only to notice the letter I'm holding.
I was happy to see him and he smiled back, eyeing the note. His presence is electrifying. He sat beside me and hugged me. The reason that this is my favorite spot is that lesser people will notice us hugging and being clingy with each other.
Jongin and Kyungsoo are fine with us being loyal customers, but they often warn us to be mindful of their other patrons.
I quickly returned the hug and I told Luhan everything that happened to me during the talk.
I even asked him, "Do you happen to be friends with Wu Yifan?"
"Not really, but I had my ex-best buddy, someone I lost contact with ran to him."
"Why?" I could sense his relaxed stance, but i could feel the pain.
"It has a Long story, but we ended up fighting." he whispered.
It probably affected him a lot but I did not question him the reason why they fought. I might offend him.
I ended up asking him out to a soccer match instead. My relationship with Lu Han blossomed beautifully at that time.
-
A year has passed since he personally saw me.
We managed to be happy with our routine of coffee, soccer and cuddling, added with our seasonal birthday parties. We would celebrate mine, Lu Han's, Sehun's, Zitao's, Jongin's and Kyungsoo's with a homemade cake. Those were the times we would let ourselves drink more than three cans and get wasted.
My segment has also achieved a "Most listened radio show" award too. So far, my career and love life are lively.
Until I realized that the mountain that I was climbing was too high. After my radio commitment, I randomly asked Lu Han to play as usual.
"Minseokkie I'm tired."
"Come on Luhannie, just play with me. You have been stressful for days."
The project between Lu Deer Radio and SNS Radio, our company to create a Chinese version of the radio drama "In your dreams" became possible and now in the works. As the one who proposed it, Lu Han became busy defending the project and signing contracts here and there.
The time for him to go back to Beijing is near. I never asked the exact date but by the things going fast, it will happen.
“Minseokkie, my legs too tired. I have a better idea." He dragged me into his car.
I secretly felt anxious. "Where are we going?"
"To my place." His smiled as he pushed me inside.
-
The car was typical brand new black one. I was expecting something more extravagant, so it adds more shock points to me.
We were silent for the duration the trip since I was too busy looking outside and he was busy driving. Yet a "Gangnam District" sign and the car going inside a car park of a tall building caught my attention.
His riches are no joke and I'm never this curious about his life. It feels like he seldom talks about his life to me after a year.
He opened the door for me and we walked hand-in-hand to the all-floor elevator. I did not notice what all floor meant so I let him plainly lead. I noticed that he pressed the '20' button while his other hand is wrapped around mine.
He holding my hand relieved the anxiety I had from the rich people riding the elevator. I even saw Ahn Sohee, my lookalike according to most people. Even Lu Han jokingly pointed that out to me but she hopped off on the 11th floor that we did not have the chance to talk.
As we reached the 20th floor, we were alone again. Much to my surprise, He tapped a card and pressed the hidden ‘25’.
"Why did you do that by the way?" I asked.
"To keep people off here in my sanctuary. Well people rarely come here."
As the elevator opens, we hopped off only to reveal a large door that made me amazed with its conference-like size.
He tapped the card again to open the door and even placed it in a machine that would enable electricity. It revealed a sophisticated and spacious unit with another door leading to a helicopter.
I was in awe and intimidated as he shows me his belongings. "You even have a helicopter?"
"Yep, we could also ride it!" He gleefully started to dial a phone number.
"Mr. Kim can you help us let out the beast? I'm with someone special."
Did he actually refer the helicopter as a beast? This person is unpredictable, I observed.
"Okay then, See you." He hanged it up. "We will ride it in an hour. Mr. Kim, our pilot, is quite busy."
"So Mr. Kim works for your family?" "He is our family pilot since I use it sometimes to go back to China."
"Wow, you have Korean staff." He only giggled.
"We should turn on the TV now. The match is starting. On TV, on."
With his voice, the television turned on. I only see these types in dramas that my sister watches when she was in high school. Yes, I have a younger sister who is two years younger than me yet I don't have much connection with them.
We watched a soccer game with two packs of nachos. It was good to cheer for our favorites and nobody cares. Sehun is not dedicated with soccer cheering as me and Lu Han.
"And Gooal!"
Our bet team won the match. We could shout all day. It feels awesome that even with our busy schedules that we hanged out like this. I got even more excited the Mr. Kim rang the doorbell in the 20th floor. (The building has a separate elevator for the 20-25th floors for guests according to Lu Han) He pressed a certain button letting him go up.
Mr. Kim was kind to me. He even gave me headgear that could keep as we went to the helipad outside.
The helicopter was only enough for four people and it was a something journalists would use for a news coverage.
"I hope you enjoy the trip Mr. Minseok." Mr. Kim says as he pulls a lever that made the copter go up.
As we were going up, I can see the whole vicinity of Seoul more. It was nice, but since it’s around the time of daybreak, we caught the sun set.
"It’s magnificent, Mr. Kim." I calmly spoke through the headgear because of the noise. My heart kept thumping from all the things Lu Han showed me.
"Luhannie, thank you for taking me here. I'll appreciate this moment."
"Well, this was the day when we first met right? I never thought that our relationship will go like this."
"So do I. It became truly a milestone." I grinned.
We almost forgot that Mr. Kim can hear our cheesy lines but that day was a blast even after we landed back safely.
-
Until I learned something that would lead to giving him up.
I was scheduled to interview Zhang Yixing, a recording artist touring in Korea weeks after that helicopter ride. I did my usual top 10 on air. After I announced the top 1 song, Zhang Yixing came inside the recording booth.
The interview went well and he seems very angelic. He held my hand yet it gave pain to my heart like he was competition. I also remembered that he must be the one Wu Yifan was talking about.
As we went off air I asked him, "Do you happen to know Lu Han?"
"Yes, He was the first one to break my heart."
"You are his lover now right? I guess I should tell my story."
We went outside of the recording booth and sat on a nearby bench. He told me things that surprised me.
Yixing was 16 when he met Lu Han. He was just building up his career then in Beijing and he thought he was somebody normal. They became friends and their relationship flourished until he learned that he was rich. His father separated them and gave Yixing a music contract from their ally music studio to keep out.
"Worse, I learned that he was supposed to marry a daughter from the Xi family. He didn't deny it but he said that he can't choose."
He was already betrothed to someone else. Tears ran through my face.
"He should still choose no matter what?" I was trying not to cry. I am still a guy.
"Sadly, Yes. Yet if you want to fight for it, I'll support you."
He started out pulling out letters out of his bag. It seems to be the same stationery Lu Han used in his first letter.
"By the way, the mail guy gave me this along the way to your booth. Well, Lu Han never changes and he is still a good fan boy. Too bad I cling to someone else now."
"Well thanks for this then Mr. Zhang." He waved back and went his next guesting.
I went to my place early. Sehun would be back in two more hours so I read the fan letters. Mostly are just Lu Han's letters from China set aside for me by the mail man.
Most of letters are just him professing his love for me but only one made me tear up.
"DJ Seokkie,
Here is a picture of the Xi cousins, Ai, Mao, and Fei. I am supposed to marry one of them but I can't choose! They are too graceful for me.
Wait for me after two years or just if father finally approves my proposal. I want to see you soon.
Your dedicated Chinese fan,
Lu Han."
The girls have the characteristics of ideal Chinese women. Pale skinned and long haired.
He tried telling me this all along. I blame myself for only noticing the messages on my SNS.
Why did I push this through this? Why this felt so good when it’s wrong? I don't want to fight for him anymore but I still loved him somehow. I could end up like Yixing or progress more.
Yet, maybe it was lack of sparks. Helicopter rides are awesome but they don't make me sway. I went to bed and cried myself to sleep. Sehun woke me up after a few hours, worried.
I shall face it no matter what. I tried talking to Sehun but I only ended up crying and making him surprised. He only consoled me, unaware of everything.
So here I am, standing in his building's car park. The guards allowed me.
I called him to go down and we went to the unused parking basement. I should give him without a fight. We can’t be together; I am just a mere entertainer to the eyes of the rich. The least thing that I could do is to be an ally to them.
"Lu Han, I'm sorry. I think we are better as friends. We were too passionate about this while reality gets behinds us."
We both shed tears.
"But Kim Minseok, why?"
“I'll help you choose the perfect Xi okay. It's for the better trust me. I could still have you as my best friend and not be separated as lovers." Those words from my mouth are the ones eating me inside.
"You finally knew. I’m sorry that I still insisted despite my situation but, why are you giving up?" He hugged me very tightly and cried.
"I am giving... an option for our better ending." It stings a lot.
"I don't want to wake up yet Minseokkie." He was all over my body and I was steadily holding him. "But help me wake up. Once I let go, we are friends again. Yet let me do one last thing." He kissed me as if I was the last person that his lips will touch.
He did let go though. We ended with just that.
-
It gave me a sense of regret for not fighting but I think I wasn't ready to enter a rich family like the Lu’s. Yet I still do think it is a kind of right in disguise of being an ear wreck.
As promised, I still helped him picked the right Xi in his place after that. The girls have different abilities yet they share a common denominator for grace and beauty that gave us a hard time choosing.
"What if they don't like soccer and coffee?" Lu Han was already smiling.
"At least find a wife who would let you binge watch tournaments and make you coffee by the way."
"Thank you Min... seok. I guess I could think about my decision back in Beijing. I could now go next week there too with the work here done." We shook hands like that time we first met but neutrality only happened with our touching hands.
He was not the one yet. It was pure heat and passion.
-
The day came when Lu Han is needed in China. It gave me a sense of pain and happiness. Me, Sehun, Tao, Jongin and Kyungsoo were standing beside the helicopter about to fly.
The memory of that helicopter ride flashed through my eyes.
With no regards to my feelings, I shouted at the buckled up Lu Han, "Go Grab that Xi!". The other was puzzled but I don't care. I am strong with this one even if it hurts the both of us.
The others also shouted their send-off messages. Tao even said a Chinese phrase that only he and Lu Han understood. He wave at us and left.
-
My heart was devastated at my own doing. I was moping all day and night. I even cancelled my radio show which led having someone replace me for good.
Sehun can't even stand watching me like this.
"It has been weeks hyung, cheer up. Here, drink up and move on. You have to grab that job again okay? We do not like the person who replaced you since he is very bossy." He gave me a glass of milk and went back to tidying up.
"Why are you freaking giving me a glass of milk? That person can still change anyway with my state." I still drank the cold milk anyway. It quite calmed me down, to be honest.
My relationship with Sehun is just being plainly platonic friends or maybe even brothers. No sparks involved. He takes care of me in the weirdest ways. Not that I'm complaining.
I ended up asking for more.
"Here you go." He placed a large carton and another glass on the table. "Cold milk is better. It soothes the heart and I don't have to deal with drunken people." He proceeded to put milk in his glass and drank with me.
"Well, what about my job? I felt better, thank you for the milk."
"The chairman offered you a new program in the 8-9 pm shift but with a co-DJ. You need to go there tomorrow for the details. Also, someone new from the station will move in here because Zitao needs me to move next door as soon as possible but I can't leave you like this."
So Zitao and he are now together. Good for him but I hope the new person is somehow kind and responsible. I trust Sehun won’t leave me to some bad person in this apartment we co-own.
"I sense something weird with you two by the way. Best wishes and I shall raise myself to move on."
He obviously blushed. I'm gonna miss this guy.
"Hey! Shut up and drink away. Or help me pack a bit."
It turns out that the carton was already empty and that I just drank the last glass. So I ended up helping Sehun settle his belongings next door.
I envied seeing that couple happily arranging things. But my happiness with him felt like a good sacrifice for his sake.
All alone, I went to sleep for tomorrow will decide my fate a little.
-
I woke up with a knock on my door.
With a bedhead, I opened to find a thin, smiling guy with his things in tow. He must be the one who Sehun pertains to.
"Hi, are you Kim Minseok? My name is Kim Jongdae and I'm an intern in the radio station. I'm your new roommate, so can I come in?"
I was not in the mood for this. "Yes you can, but make sure to keep yourself tidy while settling here."
"Okay hyung, I will."
The newcomer inspired me to fix myself in the bathroom while he was unloading his things. I just hope he doesn’t wreck the house like a certain Oh Sehun when he was just moving in.
As we both finished our respective tasks, I accompanied him to the station. He is quite energetic in asking questions that I felt nervous.
"You're DJ Seokkie right? I feel lucky to be taught by you."
Is my new job teaching an intern the ropes? I felt nervous seeing him look up to me.
"Uhm yes, but I have quit weeks ago. I am also not that great by the way."
He held both of my shoulders. "Cheer up, hyung. You can teach me well. I learn fast."
"Fine, at least your words lifted up my spirits."
His words upped my mood. No, he even lifted up my heart with electricity. Oh no, not again.
At that time, I had a strong feeling that I might break my heart again.
-
Mr. Chairman called in his office me, Jongdae, A person from the TV station who I think his name is Chanyeol, if I'm not mistaken and another intern as he had the same uniform as Jongdae's. Mr. Chairman was with the Chairman of the TV station, Kim Junmyeon, his son.
This is going to be big I feel it. Yet, this is too good to be true.
Mr. Chairman started to speak. "Okay, I guess you knew about the new show right?" We all nodded. "This show will be also featured in the official live stream too. I need you to present to me what will be the content of the 1 hour show."
We get to write our own show? It is quite an improvement in career.
"But the show would only contain two DJs, and it’s either team Minseok and Jongdae or team Chanyeol and Baekhyun. The losing side will lose their jobs/internship so Junmyeon and I will watch you guys closely. You have one month and Good Luck."
I guess I have nothing to lose. Yet, Jongdae looks promising and would want to achieve more. I can do this, he said.
Mr. Chairman and his son dismissed us. The four of us were really nervous together even though we barely know each other.
"They are really tigers in a suit." Baekhyun muttered.
"But we can do this right? May the best one win between the two teams." Jongdae tried to motivate everyone again.
"Yes! We should stay strong in this. Good luck then!" Chanyeol happily said and pulled Baekhyun away.
I thought that we should get going too.
"Jongdae lets go-"
"Minseok-hyung! Chairman wants to see you personally." Sehun was screaming in the hallway, running towards me. "Jongdae hyung, I shall tour you instead. I am basically the errand boy here." He escorted the puzzled Jongdae away from me.
Touring people is basically a memory anyway.
I went back to the office to find only the Chairman. I guess his son left already.
"Ah Minseok, I would just like to thank you for your help that made "In Your Dreams" have a Chinese version. That made me give you a second chance. I can't give you another job if you fail this."
"Why are you saying this?" I felt more worried.
"Because my son will give the final decision. I will just stand and watch. Well at least I let you breathe more fresh air after you and Lu Han parted ways."
"Sehun told you that?" That brat.
"After a little bribing." He grinned as I sighed.
As I left the office, I chanced upon seeing Sehun and Jongdae walking.
"Hyung, let's grab coffee. Jongin and Kyungsoo misses you.I'll call Tao too." Sehun offered.
We first bonded with coffee but I should think of it now as our mini gang's hangout.
The memory of loving him that has left scattered in Korea still haunts me.
Jongdae was introduced to Jongin and Kyungsoo. He inquired first about living in Tao's place so he knew him first. Then Sehun, who hangs out there a lot, offered my place since I can help him more as a mentor. Also, I found a new favorite table which was in the opposite window. The old one reminds me of our coffee dates. It doesn't help that Jongdae likes coffee and cakes too.
We went home after two hours of chatting and Kyungsoo's persistence to take more cookies for Jongdae. I never heard a person who thinks that the specialty cookies are heavenly. I think it's just okay. Lu Han would testify to that but he's not here.
Instead of planning, I just talked about my life and he shared his somewhat success story. (At least according to himself) He was just like me as a striving pupil. He strived and managed to get a job in the station. He even treated me Chinese food and had it delivered in time for dinner.
I remembered Lu Han treated me once, but he treated me a dozen of dumplings. He would say, while poking my cheeks, “Your cheeks remind me of this. Bao-zi." Baozi meant dumplings in Chinese but I can only eat around five pieces. I prefer the hot pot on the table right now.
I guess Jongdae is not that bad of a roommate but Sehun's visits give me a different kind of joy.
Everything we did reminds me of Lu Han, my first mistake.
part 2
Pairing: Xiumin centric with Xiumin/Luhan and Xiumin/Chen
Rating: PG-13
Genre: DJ!Xiumin AU, Romance, Drama
Length: ~13.5K (uni is killing me softly OTL)
Summary: Join Kim Minseok as he learns more of himself flourishes his craft and finds the right wire to channel the sparks of his heart after his relationship mistakes with Lu Han and Kim Jongdae.
Warnings: Sprinkled with little profanities and overboard kissing.. and bad proofreading
*A/N: can't fit in 1 post. sorry!*
For the first time, I will share my love story to my listeners due insistent public demand. I prepared a month to narrate this.
I took a deep breath because this is going to be a little long. It was five years since I got this show with that someone but he left to settle down in his province with his wife after two years, and the show got rebooted. With the reboot, I get to do what I want, which happened to be running for three years even that includes listening to callers and their stories only to give them pieces of advice.
It was all thanks to my mistakes. My mistake of giving up easily and letting them have their happiness in the company of others. At least, because of them, I met my dream girl three years ago. The recording booth's "ON AIR" sign lit up as the music cues in.
"Good Evening Everyone! It's your adorable Love Adviser Min here. Due to insistent public demand and today is the third anniversary of this program, I will finally reveal my story. I do warn you, it is quite juicy. Here I go." I grabbed the piece of printed paper containing the story and started reading.
-
I'm Kim Minseok. I was locally known as DJ Seokkie by our avid listeners until I changed my screen name to DJ Xiumin or now known as Love Adviser Minseok. Why do I change into a lot of screen names? I change a lot because every past screen name has a sad back story that affected my job, even it is hard to admit.
My love story revolves around with me finding somebody who could make the electricity flowing, only to be rejected or even worse, die out after trying to work it out. The worst case scenario happened twice. They wrecked me like an overused plug until I found the one.
It used to need a hand squeeze for me to say it before I met them. When I hold someone's hand for a minute, sparks will just go through my body like live wire.
I really don't know how this happened but since the time I entered schooling, I have been confessing to people up to the point that the people became confused on who I really like more. Playing with friends requires a lot of joining hands.
It is my own special ability that I can't control up to now. I could be someone who easily falls in love, yet I am not sure of the concept of love.
As a 24-year-old adult, my coworkers in the workplace regardless of gender are my victims when I accidentally feel a person's body temperature.
In my stay here, I have confessed to 5 girls and 2 boys that I like them very much, but I try to say it in a non-romantic way. People may say that I am bisexual, but I don’t conform to labels. I love who I love.
When I do confess, the girls would usually respond with “Aww, You are too cute but let’s only be friends." and the guys would admit that they were touched by my kindness as good sunbae yet they warned me that I could be mistaken as "someone who looks like idol/actress Ahn Sohee".
Yet I am still friends with them, as most of the station's staff are nice fellows to me.
Until one day, after my noon shift, the Chairman introduced me to a Chinese investor about my age. He introduces himself as Lu Han, who is an heir to Lu Deer Companies. They don't sell deer; by the way, it goes by their tag line, "Our Company’s reach is growing, as fast as a deer".
He is doe eyed, baby-faced, and charming. He is also a thin lad with the right amount of muscle.
Apparently, as the Chairman says beforehand, his family invests his money mainly on the multimedia arts industry. He flew here in Korea for him to prove himself a worthy heir.
Since he took a particular liking with the radio station as he likes our segments, he proposed to us a Chinese version for one of our radio dramas to be broadcast.
For some reason, the Chairman appointed me to tour him around. I was nervous as it was my first time to tour people. Good thing that Lu Han knows Korean at a native speaker level that broke the language barrier. I did my best introduce him to everyone while touring him. He talked in a shy and soft-spoken way, but everyone accepted him warmly.
I showed him every department until our legs hurt. He only paid attention to me, nodding now and then.
At the end of the tour, he perked up and asked, "Do you like coffee? I'll treat you."
I can't say no to coffee and a person offering to treat me to one so I agreed to show him to my favorite cafe beside the station, the most relaxing place after working hours.
-
Upon arriving, we scurried to my favorite spot, a table by the side window. We ordered two hot cups of coffee and cake slices. Since the owners of the cafe are my friends, Jongin and Kyungsoo, they already know what flavors I usually prefer. They also served their specialty cookies to Lu Han.
We talked not just about the negotiation, but also about soccer. We found ourselves engaged in a discussion about our favorite teams and the recent World Cup results.
As we finished everything, he paid and challenged me to play one-on-one with him. He shook my hand as we looked forward to a happy friendship. He left afterward.
With just that handshake, my wires are active again. We could be inseparable; we have a lot in common. Can we be more than friends?
The thing with getting sparks is that they give me happiness somehow. They give me more youthful vibes. They also made me hope for better shared moments with Lu Han.
This motivated me to do my job better. That led me to do "Toooop 10!" instead "In top 10, here's...”. I even received love-calls that they are glad that I became more energetic.
It is all because of his electricity flowing to my heart.
We usually hang out by the nearby park. Our one-on-one plays are frequent. When we are done, we would run to the nearest food kiosk that made me wonder if he is really a business tycoon-to-be.
Our love for soccer does not end with playing it. We would discuss more soccer up to things each thing a prized soccer player endorses.
He even drops me off my place yet he would stay longer. He would chat with me more there, and he would include Sehun, my roommate and co-worker, and Zitao, my friendly Chinese neighbor. He and Zitao would have Mandarin conversations that would leave me and Sehun in awe of their speed.
Lu Han was basically in good terms with everyone despite his rich status. Well, I'm not after his money, I was after his love.
-
A month after we met, I was called by the Chairman in his office. As I opened the door, he was gleefully inviting me.
"Minseokkie, I am planning to revamp your show. I want you to have talk show segment in your shift, aside from top 10. A longer shift is waiting for you too."
I felt shocked by the news that my body trembled.
"W-when do I start?"
"Next week. We just announced it. We have big expectations for you."
"Eh? Thank you dear Chairman."
I bowed away until I got out of the office. I feel really grateful to the station and that feeling intensified when my Sehun dragged me out to the cafe.
It turns out that Jongin and Kyungsoo closed the cafe for us and they even bothered to bake twice more cookies than they sell in a day. All of my coworkers are there, and Zitao even showed up holding a banner that says "CONGRATS MINSEOKKIE!”
Most importantly, a familiar figure went out from the comfort room. It was Lu Han, holding another congratulatory banner. I was grateful with this small gathering. Lu Han even joined the planning without my knowledge.
It turns out that the Chairman agreed to give me a new segment because of Lu Han's request. He watched me do my shift, and was astounded at the change.
The people were happy eating all of the cookies and partying. It was happy to see Jongin and Kyungsoo eat their pieces of hard work. They were too busy serving others.
Night came and my favorite people are at my place. Jongin and Kyungsoo brought more cookies, Sehun and Zitao grilled pork for the samgyeopsal in the kitchen, and Lu Han bought two cases of beer cans. It was an after-party indeed. More chattering in between chomping meat ensued until Lu Han unpacked the cases. I went up and placed a pitcher of water on the table.
"Ah, it’s unfair Minseokkie." Lu Han protested.
"Well, I still need to work tomorrow Luhannie." I usually call him Luhannie to jokingly annoy him. He doesn't mind, as he likes to call me Minseokkie frequently.
"Please, let Minseokkie have his water Mr. Lu. Kyungsoo and I have a coffee shop to run tomorrow too." Jongin supported.
"Fine." Luhan agreed half-heartedly as he chugs one can before us.
As me and the others finish one can, I noticed that Lu Han was nearing to get his third can. He was really hyperactive.
"Minseokkie is the best thing I could get. We are more than just mere friends. I like him sooo much."
Drunken people often say truthful things and I feel touched by his statement. I remember this now as a bad idea.
It gave me the urge to drink three cans up straight. It's crazy and I would regret this, but it gave me the courage to let him know my feelings.
I was supposed to kiss him on the cheek but my lips landed on his lips. Everything got black.
-
It was morning when I woke up. I feel a little dizzy. Lu Han wrapped me tight in his arms, sleeping. I still have all of clothes on and the room is clean but not the Minseok way. It missed a lot of spots that I immediately inferred that it was Sehun. I immediately looked for him and found him brewing coffee and cooking breakfast for a change.
"Minseokkie-hyung, you are a beast while being crazy drunk. Jongin and Kyungsoo even left early since they can't handle it. Tao and I kept you from going out." Sehun looked really tired.
"I'm sorry to cause you trouble, but I'm happy you had the initiative to clean our mess."
"I will do this only this time hyung, it is tiring. I still can't believe you and Lu Han are a thing. You were exchanging love messages with him while pretending to make a goal!" He even tried to re-enact it to me.
Sehun told me more stories. Luhan and I danced to Rain's Hip Song, belted out ballads in tune to everyone's surprise and jumping on the bed before we slept on the same bed. I blushed while afraid of the fact that Sehun witnessed more of my antics but at least he served breakfast. While eating, somebody covered my eyes.
"Guess who, I missed you so much, Minseokkie."
It was a recently woken up Lu Han, obviously.
“How could you miss me if you slept beside me?" I was grinning as he uncovers my eyes.
“You jumped out of the bed a few minutes before. Can I miss you for that my love?" He even went close to my ear and whispered, “I knew you kissed me deep last night. You should have told me that you like me too."
I underestimated him. We liked each other. That was a first for the record.
"Now Lu Han, are you accepting my love?"
"I am sending love bullets before we personally met. I listen to you and your recommendations a lot while learning Korean."
He was my fan boy and it took me a year to prove that.
"Really?"
"Yes, check out the fan mail sometimes."
"No need, Luhannie. I love you."
"I love you too, Minseokkie."
We shared a hug that made Sehun roll his eyes with all of the cheesiness happening.
Our relationship was that fast was the first lesson I learned looking back.
-
Before he left the apartment, he gave me a file about my first talk show guest. My first guest is Chinese actor Wu Yifan, who is currently shooting a movie in Korea.
Apparently, as I study the file, my talk show will feature both local and foreign stars in Korea. It motivated me to strive better. My resolve strengthened as I saw a small note:
"Goodluck my love. -Luhannie "
I started practicing in the mirror to keep myself ready since that was my first job on my promotion.
-
The day of the first talk show airing came. I did my best as usual with my Top 20 until its talk show time. Wu Yifan was a tall guy and looks intimidating that made me tremble.
I took a deep breath and enthusiastically did the interview.
He was actually a kind and dorky person when spoken to. The interview went smoothly. I can see people outside giving me thumbs up as we go off air.
Afterwards, he told me something.
"You are close with Lu Han right? Always keep your eyes open. He might break you like somebody I know."
"Huh? Whose heart Lu Han broke?" I am shocked.
"You will find him soon. He is also scheduled for an interview. He was someone close to me but I have to go."
He gave me a pat on the shoulder and his contact as I gave him mine. Weirdly, my love for Lu Han is stronger than his even with the touch I dread to fall with.
I was into Lu Han deep and I was a fool to not analyze Wu Yifan’s statements as early at that time.
-
I decided to go to the fan mail room but I rarely check them because I often reply on SNS. I immediately noticed that an overflowing pile of mail for me formed. I grabbed a few on top yet as I opened it, they were from Korean girls complimenting me. It prompted me to talk to good old mailman.
"Mr. Mailman, if you happen to dig in a letter sent by someone Chinese while organizing letters, could you please hand it to me?"
"I will, yet I found one out of these. There are many letter of the same person but I shall look at them." He put out an expensive looking letter addressed to me. It is signed by him. He really was not joking and he even sent a lot.
I thanked the mailman and went to the cafe.
The cafe has a few people within this time and it gave Jongin and Kyungsoo to rest before the afternoon rush hours. They sat with me as I read the letter which sent a a year before we met:
“To DJ Seokkie,
I am from Beijing but I study here in Seoul!
I listen to you during my break and I am happy that you even put Mandarin songs in your top 20.Give me a shout out sometime!
With love bullets,
Lu Han"
Something flashed to me that Sehun gave his name to shout it out months ago. Jongin and Kyungsoo as also avid listeners of my segment remembered it too.
I asked them, "Why I did not notice this until now?"
" It is because you were too conscious of your emotions" Kyungsoo said.
"I suddenly remembered that you straight up confessed to both of us when we first met." Jongin added as we laughed at a memory.
The afternoon rush began and their customers started to come until Lu Han came too only to notice the letter I'm holding.
I was happy to see him and he smiled back, eyeing the note. His presence is electrifying. He sat beside me and hugged me. The reason that this is my favorite spot is that lesser people will notice us hugging and being clingy with each other.
Jongin and Kyungsoo are fine with us being loyal customers, but they often warn us to be mindful of their other patrons.
I quickly returned the hug and I told Luhan everything that happened to me during the talk.
I even asked him, "Do you happen to be friends with Wu Yifan?"
"Not really, but I had my ex-best buddy, someone I lost contact with ran to him."
"Why?" I could sense his relaxed stance, but i could feel the pain.
"It has a Long story, but we ended up fighting." he whispered.
It probably affected him a lot but I did not question him the reason why they fought. I might offend him.
I ended up asking him out to a soccer match instead. My relationship with Lu Han blossomed beautifully at that time.
-
A year has passed since he personally saw me.
We managed to be happy with our routine of coffee, soccer and cuddling, added with our seasonal birthday parties. We would celebrate mine, Lu Han's, Sehun's, Zitao's, Jongin's and Kyungsoo's with a homemade cake. Those were the times we would let ourselves drink more than three cans and get wasted.
My segment has also achieved a "Most listened radio show" award too. So far, my career and love life are lively.
Until I realized that the mountain that I was climbing was too high. After my radio commitment, I randomly asked Lu Han to play as usual.
"Minseokkie I'm tired."
"Come on Luhannie, just play with me. You have been stressful for days."
The project between Lu Deer Radio and SNS Radio, our company to create a Chinese version of the radio drama "In your dreams" became possible and now in the works. As the one who proposed it, Lu Han became busy defending the project and signing contracts here and there.
The time for him to go back to Beijing is near. I never asked the exact date but by the things going fast, it will happen.
“Minseokkie, my legs too tired. I have a better idea." He dragged me into his car.
I secretly felt anxious. "Where are we going?"
"To my place." His smiled as he pushed me inside.
-
The car was typical brand new black one. I was expecting something more extravagant, so it adds more shock points to me.
We were silent for the duration the trip since I was too busy looking outside and he was busy driving. Yet a "Gangnam District" sign and the car going inside a car park of a tall building caught my attention.
His riches are no joke and I'm never this curious about his life. It feels like he seldom talks about his life to me after a year.
He opened the door for me and we walked hand-in-hand to the all-floor elevator. I did not notice what all floor meant so I let him plainly lead. I noticed that he pressed the '20' button while his other hand is wrapped around mine.
He holding my hand relieved the anxiety I had from the rich people riding the elevator. I even saw Ahn Sohee, my lookalike according to most people. Even Lu Han jokingly pointed that out to me but she hopped off on the 11th floor that we did not have the chance to talk.
As we reached the 20th floor, we were alone again. Much to my surprise, He tapped a card and pressed the hidden ‘25’.
"Why did you do that by the way?" I asked.
"To keep people off here in my sanctuary. Well people rarely come here."
As the elevator opens, we hopped off only to reveal a large door that made me amazed with its conference-like size.
He tapped the card again to open the door and even placed it in a machine that would enable electricity. It revealed a sophisticated and spacious unit with another door leading to a helicopter.
I was in awe and intimidated as he shows me his belongings. "You even have a helicopter?"
"Yep, we could also ride it!" He gleefully started to dial a phone number.
"Mr. Kim can you help us let out the beast? I'm with someone special."
Did he actually refer the helicopter as a beast? This person is unpredictable, I observed.
"Okay then, See you." He hanged it up. "We will ride it in an hour. Mr. Kim, our pilot, is quite busy."
"So Mr. Kim works for your family?" "He is our family pilot since I use it sometimes to go back to China."
"Wow, you have Korean staff." He only giggled.
"We should turn on the TV now. The match is starting. On TV, on."
With his voice, the television turned on. I only see these types in dramas that my sister watches when she was in high school. Yes, I have a younger sister who is two years younger than me yet I don't have much connection with them.
We watched a soccer game with two packs of nachos. It was good to cheer for our favorites and nobody cares. Sehun is not dedicated with soccer cheering as me and Lu Han.
"And Gooal!"
Our bet team won the match. We could shout all day. It feels awesome that even with our busy schedules that we hanged out like this. I got even more excited the Mr. Kim rang the doorbell in the 20th floor. (The building has a separate elevator for the 20-25th floors for guests according to Lu Han) He pressed a certain button letting him go up.
Mr. Kim was kind to me. He even gave me headgear that could keep as we went to the helipad outside.
The helicopter was only enough for four people and it was a something journalists would use for a news coverage.
"I hope you enjoy the trip Mr. Minseok." Mr. Kim says as he pulls a lever that made the copter go up.
As we were going up, I can see the whole vicinity of Seoul more. It was nice, but since it’s around the time of daybreak, we caught the sun set.
"It’s magnificent, Mr. Kim." I calmly spoke through the headgear because of the noise. My heart kept thumping from all the things Lu Han showed me.
"Luhannie, thank you for taking me here. I'll appreciate this moment."
"Well, this was the day when we first met right? I never thought that our relationship will go like this."
"So do I. It became truly a milestone." I grinned.
We almost forgot that Mr. Kim can hear our cheesy lines but that day was a blast even after we landed back safely.
-
Until I learned something that would lead to giving him up.
I was scheduled to interview Zhang Yixing, a recording artist touring in Korea weeks after that helicopter ride. I did my usual top 10 on air. After I announced the top 1 song, Zhang Yixing came inside the recording booth.
The interview went well and he seems very angelic. He held my hand yet it gave pain to my heart like he was competition. I also remembered that he must be the one Wu Yifan was talking about.
As we went off air I asked him, "Do you happen to know Lu Han?"
"Yes, He was the first one to break my heart."
"You are his lover now right? I guess I should tell my story."
We went outside of the recording booth and sat on a nearby bench. He told me things that surprised me.
Yixing was 16 when he met Lu Han. He was just building up his career then in Beijing and he thought he was somebody normal. They became friends and their relationship flourished until he learned that he was rich. His father separated them and gave Yixing a music contract from their ally music studio to keep out.
"Worse, I learned that he was supposed to marry a daughter from the Xi family. He didn't deny it but he said that he can't choose."
He was already betrothed to someone else. Tears ran through my face.
"He should still choose no matter what?" I was trying not to cry. I am still a guy.
"Sadly, Yes. Yet if you want to fight for it, I'll support you."
He started out pulling out letters out of his bag. It seems to be the same stationery Lu Han used in his first letter.
"By the way, the mail guy gave me this along the way to your booth. Well, Lu Han never changes and he is still a good fan boy. Too bad I cling to someone else now."
"Well thanks for this then Mr. Zhang." He waved back and went his next guesting.
I went to my place early. Sehun would be back in two more hours so I read the fan letters. Mostly are just Lu Han's letters from China set aside for me by the mail man.
Most of letters are just him professing his love for me but only one made me tear up.
"DJ Seokkie,
Here is a picture of the Xi cousins, Ai, Mao, and Fei. I am supposed to marry one of them but I can't choose! They are too graceful for me.
Wait for me after two years or just if father finally approves my proposal. I want to see you soon.
Your dedicated Chinese fan,
Lu Han."
The girls have the characteristics of ideal Chinese women. Pale skinned and long haired.
He tried telling me this all along. I blame myself for only noticing the messages on my SNS.
Why did I push this through this? Why this felt so good when it’s wrong? I don't want to fight for him anymore but I still loved him somehow. I could end up like Yixing or progress more.
Yet, maybe it was lack of sparks. Helicopter rides are awesome but they don't make me sway. I went to bed and cried myself to sleep. Sehun woke me up after a few hours, worried.
I shall face it no matter what. I tried talking to Sehun but I only ended up crying and making him surprised. He only consoled me, unaware of everything.
So here I am, standing in his building's car park. The guards allowed me.
I called him to go down and we went to the unused parking basement. I should give him without a fight. We can’t be together; I am just a mere entertainer to the eyes of the rich. The least thing that I could do is to be an ally to them.
"Lu Han, I'm sorry. I think we are better as friends. We were too passionate about this while reality gets behinds us."
We both shed tears.
"But Kim Minseok, why?"
“I'll help you choose the perfect Xi okay. It's for the better trust me. I could still have you as my best friend and not be separated as lovers." Those words from my mouth are the ones eating me inside.
"You finally knew. I’m sorry that I still insisted despite my situation but, why are you giving up?" He hugged me very tightly and cried.
"I am giving... an option for our better ending." It stings a lot.
"I don't want to wake up yet Minseokkie." He was all over my body and I was steadily holding him. "But help me wake up. Once I let go, we are friends again. Yet let me do one last thing." He kissed me as if I was the last person that his lips will touch.
He did let go though. We ended with just that.
-
It gave me a sense of regret for not fighting but I think I wasn't ready to enter a rich family like the Lu’s. Yet I still do think it is a kind of right in disguise of being an ear wreck.
As promised, I still helped him picked the right Xi in his place after that. The girls have different abilities yet they share a common denominator for grace and beauty that gave us a hard time choosing.
"What if they don't like soccer and coffee?" Lu Han was already smiling.
"At least find a wife who would let you binge watch tournaments and make you coffee by the way."
"Thank you Min... seok. I guess I could think about my decision back in Beijing. I could now go next week there too with the work here done." We shook hands like that time we first met but neutrality only happened with our touching hands.
He was not the one yet. It was pure heat and passion.
-
The day came when Lu Han is needed in China. It gave me a sense of pain and happiness. Me, Sehun, Tao, Jongin and Kyungsoo were standing beside the helicopter about to fly.
The memory of that helicopter ride flashed through my eyes.
With no regards to my feelings, I shouted at the buckled up Lu Han, "Go Grab that Xi!". The other was puzzled but I don't care. I am strong with this one even if it hurts the both of us.
The others also shouted their send-off messages. Tao even said a Chinese phrase that only he and Lu Han understood. He wave at us and left.
-
My heart was devastated at my own doing. I was moping all day and night. I even cancelled my radio show which led having someone replace me for good.
Sehun can't even stand watching me like this.
"It has been weeks hyung, cheer up. Here, drink up and move on. You have to grab that job again okay? We do not like the person who replaced you since he is very bossy." He gave me a glass of milk and went back to tidying up.
"Why are you freaking giving me a glass of milk? That person can still change anyway with my state." I still drank the cold milk anyway. It quite calmed me down, to be honest.
My relationship with Sehun is just being plainly platonic friends or maybe even brothers. No sparks involved. He takes care of me in the weirdest ways. Not that I'm complaining.
I ended up asking for more.
"Here you go." He placed a large carton and another glass on the table. "Cold milk is better. It soothes the heart and I don't have to deal with drunken people." He proceeded to put milk in his glass and drank with me.
"Well, what about my job? I felt better, thank you for the milk."
"The chairman offered you a new program in the 8-9 pm shift but with a co-DJ. You need to go there tomorrow for the details. Also, someone new from the station will move in here because Zitao needs me to move next door as soon as possible but I can't leave you like this."
So Zitao and he are now together. Good for him but I hope the new person is somehow kind and responsible. I trust Sehun won’t leave me to some bad person in this apartment we co-own.
"I sense something weird with you two by the way. Best wishes and I shall raise myself to move on."
He obviously blushed. I'm gonna miss this guy.
"Hey! Shut up and drink away. Or help me pack a bit."
It turns out that the carton was already empty and that I just drank the last glass. So I ended up helping Sehun settle his belongings next door.
I envied seeing that couple happily arranging things. But my happiness with him felt like a good sacrifice for his sake.
All alone, I went to sleep for tomorrow will decide my fate a little.
-
I woke up with a knock on my door.
With a bedhead, I opened to find a thin, smiling guy with his things in tow. He must be the one who Sehun pertains to.
"Hi, are you Kim Minseok? My name is Kim Jongdae and I'm an intern in the radio station. I'm your new roommate, so can I come in?"
I was not in the mood for this. "Yes you can, but make sure to keep yourself tidy while settling here."
"Okay hyung, I will."
The newcomer inspired me to fix myself in the bathroom while he was unloading his things. I just hope he doesn’t wreck the house like a certain Oh Sehun when he was just moving in.
As we both finished our respective tasks, I accompanied him to the station. He is quite energetic in asking questions that I felt nervous.
"You're DJ Seokkie right? I feel lucky to be taught by you."
Is my new job teaching an intern the ropes? I felt nervous seeing him look up to me.
"Uhm yes, but I have quit weeks ago. I am also not that great by the way."
He held both of my shoulders. "Cheer up, hyung. You can teach me well. I learn fast."
"Fine, at least your words lifted up my spirits."
His words upped my mood. No, he even lifted up my heart with electricity. Oh no, not again.
At that time, I had a strong feeling that I might break my heart again.
-
Mr. Chairman called in his office me, Jongdae, A person from the TV station who I think his name is Chanyeol, if I'm not mistaken and another intern as he had the same uniform as Jongdae's. Mr. Chairman was with the Chairman of the TV station, Kim Junmyeon, his son.
This is going to be big I feel it. Yet, this is too good to be true.
Mr. Chairman started to speak. "Okay, I guess you knew about the new show right?" We all nodded. "This show will be also featured in the official live stream too. I need you to present to me what will be the content of the 1 hour show."
We get to write our own show? It is quite an improvement in career.
"But the show would only contain two DJs, and it’s either team Minseok and Jongdae or team Chanyeol and Baekhyun. The losing side will lose their jobs/internship so Junmyeon and I will watch you guys closely. You have one month and Good Luck."
I guess I have nothing to lose. Yet, Jongdae looks promising and would want to achieve more. I can do this, he said.
Mr. Chairman and his son dismissed us. The four of us were really nervous together even though we barely know each other.
"They are really tigers in a suit." Baekhyun muttered.
"But we can do this right? May the best one win between the two teams." Jongdae tried to motivate everyone again.
"Yes! We should stay strong in this. Good luck then!" Chanyeol happily said and pulled Baekhyun away.
I thought that we should get going too.
"Jongdae lets go-"
"Minseok-hyung! Chairman wants to see you personally." Sehun was screaming in the hallway, running towards me. "Jongdae hyung, I shall tour you instead. I am basically the errand boy here." He escorted the puzzled Jongdae away from me.
Touring people is basically a memory anyway.
I went back to the office to find only the Chairman. I guess his son left already.
"Ah Minseok, I would just like to thank you for your help that made "In Your Dreams" have a Chinese version. That made me give you a second chance. I can't give you another job if you fail this."
"Why are you saying this?" I felt more worried.
"Because my son will give the final decision. I will just stand and watch. Well at least I let you breathe more fresh air after you and Lu Han parted ways."
"Sehun told you that?" That brat.
"After a little bribing." He grinned as I sighed.
As I left the office, I chanced upon seeing Sehun and Jongdae walking.
"Hyung, let's grab coffee. Jongin and Kyungsoo misses you.I'll call Tao too." Sehun offered.
We first bonded with coffee but I should think of it now as our mini gang's hangout.
The memory of loving him that has left scattered in Korea still haunts me.
Jongdae was introduced to Jongin and Kyungsoo. He inquired first about living in Tao's place so he knew him first. Then Sehun, who hangs out there a lot, offered my place since I can help him more as a mentor. Also, I found a new favorite table which was in the opposite window. The old one reminds me of our coffee dates. It doesn't help that Jongdae likes coffee and cakes too.
We went home after two hours of chatting and Kyungsoo's persistence to take more cookies for Jongdae. I never heard a person who thinks that the specialty cookies are heavenly. I think it's just okay. Lu Han would testify to that but he's not here.
Instead of planning, I just talked about my life and he shared his somewhat success story. (At least according to himself) He was just like me as a striving pupil. He strived and managed to get a job in the station. He even treated me Chinese food and had it delivered in time for dinner.
I remembered Lu Han treated me once, but he treated me a dozen of dumplings. He would say, while poking my cheeks, “Your cheeks remind me of this. Bao-zi." Baozi meant dumplings in Chinese but I can only eat around five pieces. I prefer the hot pot on the table right now.
I guess Jongdae is not that bad of a roommate but Sehun's visits give me a different kind of joy.
Everything we did reminds me of Lu Han, my first mistake.
part 2