Title: untitled Pairing: suho centric, dad!suho/kid!kai, eventual slight krisho Rating: PG-13 Genre: slice of life Length: ~4k for now, will be around 7k when everything is done? Summary/Warnings: Junmyeon gets a surprise on Christmas
(I'm sorry it took me this long to actually leave a comment u.u)
First of all, kid!Kai is all kinds of cute oh god this killed me: His face is all scrunched up and his eyes are shining with unshed tears which Junmyeon presumes comes from the fear of not being able to find him after he wakes up. and I like how you wrote Junmyeon's character, he seems like the type of guy who's okay with kids but doesn't know he could actually be a great dad and I'm pretty excited to see if I'm right about that, hehe. (also omfgudhuiwtdc;; PAPA)
There are a few grammatical errors here and there but judging from a large portion of the fic I'd guess they're simply typos you can easily correct~ I also noticed that you spelled it as boss' instead of boss's, and that there were times you capitalized the next letter after a comma during a dialogue (eg. "Don't cry," A sleepy looking boy reaches out to Jongin) so just letting you know~~
Other than that, your story's a delight to read so far and I'm really looking forward to what's going to happen next! and i'm aching to know just who Jongin's real parents are and what happened, but even if you don't explore that i'm sure your fic will still be interesting!
also he can’t help but to cover Jongin’s ears as quickly as possible, afraid that the conversation will hurt him. Jongin looks up at him in confusion, asking what is going on wordlessly. ohmygOD I JUST WANT TO HOLD HIM
thank you for your help (: i'll take note of them when i re-edit the fic! (:
kid kai killed me too when i was writing him
to be honest, i've so many versions of the ending that i don't really know which one i should proceed with. but i hope it'll be something that you'll like! (:
First of all, kid!Kai is all kinds of cute oh god this killed me:
His face is all scrunched up and his eyes are shining with unshed tears which Junmyeon presumes comes from the fear of not being able to find him after he wakes up.
and I like how you wrote Junmyeon's character, he seems like the type of guy who's okay with kids but doesn't know he could actually be a great dad and I'm pretty excited to see if I'm right about that, hehe. (also omfgudhuiwtdc;; PAPA)
There are a few grammatical errors here and there but judging from a large portion of the fic I'd guess they're simply typos you can easily correct~ I also noticed that you spelled it as boss' instead of boss's, and that there were times you capitalized the next letter after a comma during a dialogue (eg. "Don't cry," A sleepy looking boy reaches out to Jongin) so just letting you know~~
Other than that, your story's a delight to read so far and I'm really looking forward to what's going to happen next! and i'm aching to know just who Jongin's real parents are and what happened, but even if you don't explore that i'm sure your fic will still be interesting!
also he can’t help but to cover Jongin’s ears as quickly as possible, afraid that the conversation will hurt him. Jongin looks up at him in confusion, asking what is going on wordlessly. ohmygOD I JUST WANT TO HOLD HIM
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kid kai killed me too when i was writing him
to be honest, i've so many versions of the ending that i don't really know which one i should proceed with. but i hope it'll be something that you'll like! (:
Reply
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