changes.
Okay, it's been a long time again since I've written in this. A lot has happened.
I received bad news near my birthday. Oh yea, forgot to say, today is my 20th birthday. It's not too exciting since I still can't legally drink, but I won't let that stop me.
After almost a year of being single and doing stupid shit, I finally have found myself in a relationship. Remember the guy I was talking to that had gone overseas? It's with him. We e-mailed each other every day, he'd occasionally call me and we'd talk for, like, two hours. I sent him a package once. I would've sent him more, but I was having a problem with money at the time. I made mistakes when we were just talking, but he came back, we've sorted things out.
I love him.
I don't want to sound like some stupid 20 year old, naive girl. I know I said I was in love before. I was 14, 16, 18. Did I really know a lot about love at those ages. I don't know. I can't remember exactly how I felt with my past relationships. Maybe they just weren't that important to me to remember. I read old diaries and how I gush about them. Most of the time, I remember bad memories. I just remember the break-up.
Although it's been a few months, things have been pushed and tested already with this guy and me. His name's John. This is probably as unconditional as it gets. Most men just have words to offer, but JJ has actions... I've honestly NEVER met anyone like him. NEVER. I really don't know what I did to deserve him, but I won't question that. I'm just thankful he's in my life. I'm going through a really tough time right now. I don't want to talk about it, but trust me, this is probably the toughest thing I'm going through (along with other things) and he's sticking by my side through this all. He's the first person to give me my birthday present tonight. :) the new Chuck Palahniuk book. Ahh, I love him. Apparently, there's more and I'm so excited!
Since I've written in this, I got my lip pierced TWICE already. I had to take it out for work and then the parents. I moved back home because of some stupid shit that took place in the old apartment.
It's weird. My life can only be described as bittersweet right now.
I wish people would understand the consequences of their actions. It's bitten me so hard many times already. Some of those consequences have hurt me pretty badly. I should've always thought before I acted. But, silly me, I'm always living in the moment and doing the craziest shit. It'll be okay in the end.
I never want my life to be boring. When I die, I don't want people to say "Yea, Nhi- she was a good girl, never did anything wrong. She was angelic. So calm." Forget that. No one remembers the good little girl. No one would ever want to write a book about her. When I die, people are going to talk about how I knew how to have fun. How I was a crazy asian girl that always forgot she was asian. How Jack Daniels was my bestest friend some nights. They're going to talk about why I can't drink Jager anymore. How I loved my friends. How I just got things pierced on a whim. They're gonna remember my best friends and I running around downtown as the ASIANS or something. Someone's gonna talk about how I did the stupidest shit to put my life in danger or my reputation at stake, but how I don't give a fuck because most people's opinions don't matter to me. And though I did stupid shit, they're gonna talk about how they still loved me anyway. Ha. They're gonna remember how I didn't want to live a boring, routine life.
Of course, there are things I wish I could take back. Everyone wishes that, no matter what they say about "no regrets". They're lying; they do regret things.
Oh, dear. Time to go to bed. It's 4:01am. Here's a closing picture of my wonderful significant other and I.
I received bad news near my birthday. Oh yea, forgot to say, today is my 20th birthday. It's not too exciting since I still can't legally drink, but I won't let that stop me.
After almost a year of being single and doing stupid shit, I finally have found myself in a relationship. Remember the guy I was talking to that had gone overseas? It's with him. We e-mailed each other every day, he'd occasionally call me and we'd talk for, like, two hours. I sent him a package once. I would've sent him more, but I was having a problem with money at the time. I made mistakes when we were just talking, but he came back, we've sorted things out.
I love him.
I don't want to sound like some stupid 20 year old, naive girl. I know I said I was in love before. I was 14, 16, 18. Did I really know a lot about love at those ages. I don't know. I can't remember exactly how I felt with my past relationships. Maybe they just weren't that important to me to remember. I read old diaries and how I gush about them. Most of the time, I remember bad memories. I just remember the break-up.
Although it's been a few months, things have been pushed and tested already with this guy and me. His name's John. This is probably as unconditional as it gets. Most men just have words to offer, but JJ has actions... I've honestly NEVER met anyone like him. NEVER. I really don't know what I did to deserve him, but I won't question that. I'm just thankful he's in my life. I'm going through a really tough time right now. I don't want to talk about it, but trust me, this is probably the toughest thing I'm going through (along with other things) and he's sticking by my side through this all. He's the first person to give me my birthday present tonight. :) the new Chuck Palahniuk book. Ahh, I love him. Apparently, there's more and I'm so excited!
Since I've written in this, I got my lip pierced TWICE already. I had to take it out for work and then the parents. I moved back home because of some stupid shit that took place in the old apartment.
It's weird. My life can only be described as bittersweet right now.
I wish people would understand the consequences of their actions. It's bitten me so hard many times already. Some of those consequences have hurt me pretty badly. I should've always thought before I acted. But, silly me, I'm always living in the moment and doing the craziest shit. It'll be okay in the end.
I never want my life to be boring. When I die, I don't want people to say "Yea, Nhi- she was a good girl, never did anything wrong. She was angelic. So calm." Forget that. No one remembers the good little girl. No one would ever want to write a book about her. When I die, people are going to talk about how I knew how to have fun. How I was a crazy asian girl that always forgot she was asian. How Jack Daniels was my bestest friend some nights. They're going to talk about why I can't drink Jager anymore. How I loved my friends. How I just got things pierced on a whim. They're gonna remember my best friends and I running around downtown as the ASIANS or something. Someone's gonna talk about how I did the stupidest shit to put my life in danger or my reputation at stake, but how I don't give a fuck because most people's opinions don't matter to me. And though I did stupid shit, they're gonna talk about how they still loved me anyway. Ha. They're gonna remember how I didn't want to live a boring, routine life.
Of course, there are things I wish I could take back. Everyone wishes that, no matter what they say about "no regrets". They're lying; they do regret things.
Oh, dear. Time to go to bed. It's 4:01am. Here's a closing picture of my wonderful significant other and I.