Grieving
THE STAGES OF GRIEVING
There are many different stages of grieving. The three stages outlined below are ones which most people will experience. However, people do not usually flow from the first stage through to the last in a logical order. Some people will jump back and forth between stages. The length of time it takes to go through the different stages will vary.
Stage I - Numbness or Shock - Immediately after news of death, you will likely experience a period when you feel very little except a sense of unreality. Some people have described this period as being enclosed in a cocoon, or as "sleepwalking", through the funeral and necessary details which follow death. This stage may last for several weeks or several months.
Stage II - Disorganization - Eventually, nature's protective shock begins to wear off, and feelings begin to come alive again. You may have some physical symptoms such as tightness in the throat, shortness of breath, the need to sigh frequently and extreme fatigue. Emotional symptoms can be even more distressing. Anger at the loved one for dying and the accompanying guilt may be overwhelming. You need to review the life of the deceased person and the events leading up to the actual death. You may agonize over things you believe you did wrong or things you think you should have done for the deceased. Most frightening of all can be the feeling of losing emotional control. It is a painful period of emotional upheaval but a normal and necessary part of grieving. Most people will recover but it can take weeks, months or, to some degree, several years.
Stage III - Re-organization - Eventually, there will be periods when you do not dwell on your loss, and you can focus on daily tasks. A great hurt is never completely forgotten; rather, it takes its place among life's other, more immediate demands. Deeper friendships may be formed through the process of sharing. You may have a new awareness of the preciousness of life and of the value of people and experiences.
HOW TO COPE WITH YOUR OWN GRIEF ·
Be with caring people. Spend time with family, friends, neighbours, co-workers, and people, such as members of a self-help group, who have been through the experience of loss and grief.
Take enough time. Everyone reacts differently to a loss. It is hard to estimate a "normal" grieving period; it will probably take longer than you expect.
Express your feelings. Let yourself feel sadness, anger and other feelings. Find a way to express these feelings through talking, weeping, etc .
Accept a changed life. Recognize that you may be less attentive to your work and personal relationships for some time. Your routines may need to change - this is a natural outcome of loss and grief.
Reach out for help. Don't always rely on others to make the first move; they may be concerned about allowing you your privacy. Let people know when you need companionship and support.
Take care of your physical health. Be aware of any physical signs of stress or illness you may develop. Speak with your doctor if you feel your grief is affecting your health.
Support others in their grief. Offer support to other family members and friends who are grieving, including the children. Be honest with the children about what has happened and about how you feel. Encourage them to talk about their feelings.
Come to terms with your loss. Move towards acceptance of the death of your loved one. Work through feelings of bitterness and blame which may get in the way of moving forward in your life.
Make a new beginning. As the sense of grief becomes less intense, return to interests and activities you may have dropped and think about doing something new. Consider forming new relationships at your own pace.
Postpone major life changes. Consider waiting a year or so before making big decisions, such as moving, remarrying or having another child. Your judgement may not be the best while you are mourning, and the changes may add to the stress you are already experiencing.
I don't think anyone should put a time limit on grieving..Everyone reacts in different ways I was sent this site by a friend who cares I tend to agree with some of it not all of it.
I guess according to all this im still in a shocked state heh...
There are many different stages of grieving. The three stages outlined below are ones which most people will experience. However, people do not usually flow from the first stage through to the last in a logical order. Some people will jump back and forth between stages. The length of time it takes to go through the different stages will vary.
Stage I - Numbness or Shock - Immediately after news of death, you will likely experience a period when you feel very little except a sense of unreality. Some people have described this period as being enclosed in a cocoon, or as "sleepwalking", through the funeral and necessary details which follow death. This stage may last for several weeks or several months.
Stage II - Disorganization - Eventually, nature's protective shock begins to wear off, and feelings begin to come alive again. You may have some physical symptoms such as tightness in the throat, shortness of breath, the need to sigh frequently and extreme fatigue. Emotional symptoms can be even more distressing. Anger at the loved one for dying and the accompanying guilt may be overwhelming. You need to review the life of the deceased person and the events leading up to the actual death. You may agonize over things you believe you did wrong or things you think you should have done for the deceased. Most frightening of all can be the feeling of losing emotional control. It is a painful period of emotional upheaval but a normal and necessary part of grieving. Most people will recover but it can take weeks, months or, to some degree, several years.
Stage III - Re-organization - Eventually, there will be periods when you do not dwell on your loss, and you can focus on daily tasks. A great hurt is never completely forgotten; rather, it takes its place among life's other, more immediate demands. Deeper friendships may be formed through the process of sharing. You may have a new awareness of the preciousness of life and of the value of people and experiences.
HOW TO COPE WITH YOUR OWN GRIEF ·
Be with caring people. Spend time with family, friends, neighbours, co-workers, and people, such as members of a self-help group, who have been through the experience of loss and grief.
Take enough time. Everyone reacts differently to a loss. It is hard to estimate a "normal" grieving period; it will probably take longer than you expect.
Express your feelings. Let yourself feel sadness, anger and other feelings. Find a way to express these feelings through talking, weeping, etc .
Accept a changed life. Recognize that you may be less attentive to your work and personal relationships for some time. Your routines may need to change - this is a natural outcome of loss and grief.
Reach out for help. Don't always rely on others to make the first move; they may be concerned about allowing you your privacy. Let people know when you need companionship and support.
Take care of your physical health. Be aware of any physical signs of stress or illness you may develop. Speak with your doctor if you feel your grief is affecting your health.
Support others in their grief. Offer support to other family members and friends who are grieving, including the children. Be honest with the children about what has happened and about how you feel. Encourage them to talk about their feelings.
Come to terms with your loss. Move towards acceptance of the death of your loved one. Work through feelings of bitterness and blame which may get in the way of moving forward in your life.
Make a new beginning. As the sense of grief becomes less intense, return to interests and activities you may have dropped and think about doing something new. Consider forming new relationships at your own pace.
Postpone major life changes. Consider waiting a year or so before making big decisions, such as moving, remarrying or having another child. Your judgement may not be the best while you are mourning, and the changes may add to the stress you are already experiencing.
I don't think anyone should put a time limit on grieving..Everyone reacts in different ways I was sent this site by a friend who cares I tend to agree with some of it not all of it.
I guess according to all this im still in a shocked state heh...