fuck
i don't know why i get myself into the things i do. i can't help it if something feels right. maybe everything i've ever wanted really isn't what i need. what is it with me and the distance factor? can't i find something solid around here to hold onto? apparently not. i want things to be easy again. i probably jynxed myself by saying it was "simple". so fucking stupid. i shouldn't be spending an entire day worrying about anything. my mood shouldn't be affected so deeply by a phone call. i just care too much and i always have. i understood that i would always be that person but it's so hard sometimes. this past week it has been eating away at my slowly. i'm a happy person, and i know i am. i just need to get back on track. for some reason in order for there to be an up.. there has to be a down first...an obstacle. i hope this is just a hard one and then everything after is fine.
please god.
please god.