(no subject)
I had a cup off coffee in the mourning before school, and then one at 4:30, and nothing else, im kind of proud of myself, i hope ill be able to say that 3 days from now when my fast is over. I wish i could last for more then a week, but i faint too much. Actually i dont even fill hungry, ive been thinking about food all day but i havent let myself fall into temptations, i kept telling myself no thank you to food, think is beautifull, fat is disgusting, i kept on looking at myself in the mirror and feeling gross. I just want to take a knife and cut all the fat off. I wish the days the hours the minutes would go by faster. My dad got up early in the mourning to make me lunch, but then when my free period came i through my lunch out, i was about to cry i felt really depressed and the biggest bitch in the world. Thats my problem im way too emotional sometimes. Sometimes i want to eat the whole kitchen, and sometimes i cant even look at food because i feel like i would puke my guts out. Man, i want to be skiny so bad, ill starve for weeks if i have to, besides a person can live to about 40 days without food, ill try 39 without food. Im just kiddin, i would if i could but im not trying to kill myself just to get skinny. I lost one pound today, but honestly i dont see that as an accomplishment, it if was 5 pounds i would be the happiest woman alive. Well i think thats all from me for today. Think thin.