(Buffy/Community) College Hard for pie_is_good
Title: College Hard
Author: fanboi214
Fandoms: Buffy/Community
Characters: Buffy Summers, Rupert Giles, Spike (Incidental Willow Rosenberg, Anya Jenkins, Xander Harris, Dawn Summers); Abed Nadir, Annie Edison, Troy Barnes, Jeff Winger, Shirley Bennett, Britta Perry, Pierce Hawthorne, Dean Pelton, (Incidental Ian Duncan)
Pairings: Minor undertones of Buffy/Spike
Rating: PG
Word count: 4,547
Spoilers: The story falls in Mid-Season 7 of the Buffy continuity sometime between “Never Leave Me” and “Lies My Parents Told me. In the Community continuity it would fall sometime in season 3 after “Pillows and Blankets.”
Warnings: None.
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Community belong to their respective creators
A/N: First I want to thank etoiledunord for betaing this mess. Second I’d say that I tried to right a fic that was kind of like what “School Hard” would’ve been in the Greendale Universe.
Summary: Annie is a Potential Slayer. While the First has sent Spike to kill her, Buffy and Giles hope to get her to Sunnydale.
The world was about to end -- that is of course assuming that a sarcastic blonde twenty-something named Buffy Summers didn’t manage to avert yet another apocalypse. Buffy was an official, experienced apocalypse-averter, as well as the one true Slayer of her generation. Still, things weren’t looking particularly good for our girl. The First Evil had manager to turn her former nemesis/ex-boyfriend into a vampiric puppet of destruction, plus her house had become the newest hostel for wayward Potential Slayers. While said Potentials were training in the backyard, Buffy herself was cloistered in the dining room with Giles and an unexpected visitor. Willow, Dawn, and Xander stood outside the door, their ears pressed to the wood in their best attempt to eavesdrop.
“What’s going on?” Anya asked as she approached the group.
“Some old Watcher friend of Giles’ showed up,” Xander replied. “He and Buffy have been holed up in there ever since.”
“Technically we don’t know he’s a Watcher,” Willow corrected.
“He has a funky English accent,” Dawn reported.
“He’s a Watcher,” Anya nodded. Stepping forward, the former vengeance demon began to open the door.
“Anya!” Willow scolded as she interrupted her. “You can’t just walk in there. If they closed the door they want privacy.”
“But I wish to know what they’re saying,” Anya replied, confused.
Little did the Scoobies realize that they weren’t missing much... at all. The mysterious ‘Watcher’ was actually Ian Duncan, the guidance councilor of Greendale Community College and the laughing stock of the Watcher’s Council. His expulsion from the council several years ago actually allowed him to survive its subsequent bombing. Although Duncan was technically no longer part of the Council he had kept his ear to the ground and had been compiling a list of what he considered to be paranormal activities.
As Duncan continued to ramble on about incidents that seemed to range from mildly abnormal to entirely human, Giles struggled to see an end to the absurdity. Buffy sat with her head in her hands and a look of boredom so intense that Giles hadn’t seen it since he helped her study for the SATs. Rising from his seat, Giles decided to put an end to this. “Well, thank you for your keen and detailed observations, Mr. Duncan. We’ll look into as many of them as we can I’m sure, but with apocalypse approaching there is a bit of an expected spike in supernatural activity across the board. Especially with Greenvale’s proximity to the Hellmouth.”
“Greendale,” Ian corrected, rising to his feet to stop Gile’s polite exit. “But I haven’t even gotten to the most important part.”
“You haven’t?” Buffy spit out in shock.
“Lately our campus seems to have been completely overrun with vampires,” Ian reported.
“Great,” Buffy said getting up. “Cliff notes are, stay indoors at night, don’t wear anything bright and don’t invite strangers into your house.”
“Yes, yes, but I think they’re being drawn there by something, a girl. A Potential Slayer,” Ian clarified.
“Bury the lead much?” Buffy sighed, before exchanging glances with Giles.
“Could we speak to this girl?” Giles asked looking to him.
“Oh well... I didn’t bring her with me,” he responded.
“Of course not,” Buffy groaned.
“But I can tell you her name. Her name is Annie Edison.”
“Oooooh what fun!” A hauntingly gleeful English voice echoed from the corner. And there stood Drusilla, or at least something that looked like Drusilla.
“Oh, I’m sorry. We haven’t met,” Ian said, moving to greet the entity.
“Stay where you are,” Giles warned, reaching his hand out to prevent the off-kilter guidance councilor from moving closer. “That’s the First.”
“The first at what precisely?” Ian replied, not grasping.
“Sorry,” Buffy cut in, addressing the First, “Don’t really have time to play your games.”
“Not fair! That’s no fun,” Drusilla replied in her singsong way. “I guess Annie Edison will just have to die, another Potential let down by Buffy Summers.”
“You know you talk a nice talk, but we all know you can’t touch anyone, let alone kill them,” Buffy bit back.
In a flash of light, Drusilla’s image shifted to that of Spike. “But I can, love.” Buffy tried to hide the uneasiness in her face, but the First didn’t let anything pass by it. “Now no need to clam up now, Slayer. Come on. It’ll be like when we first met. You and me hunting each other around school grounds. You can even bring the old Brit.” The First motioned to Giles. “I’m sure Willow wouldn’t mind watchin’ the Little Bit.”
Buffy’s face hardened. “You might think you have control over Spike but you don’t. Not in the end. Not deep down.”
The First only smirked. “Time’s wasting, Slayer. He’s already on his way.”
***
A hundred miles up the California coast a motorbike went careening into an unsuspecting sign that read “Welcome to Greendale.” Meanwhile, an unsuspecting Annie Edison was in the depths of Greendale Community College study room F with a handful of the college’s most prestigious and devoted students.
“Do you think I could glue myself to the roof if I used an entire container of super glue?” Troy Barnes pondered aloud from his seat at the table. Greendale’s student body could, at times, leave something to be desired.
“I don’t know. You should try,” the always flippant Jeff Winger replied, not averting his gaze from the phone he’d been staring at all evening.
As Troy began to stand, Annie placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him. “Don’t try that.” Offering no resistance, Troy sank back down to his seat, pouting.
“Where are the hippie and the Arab? I want to go home,” Pierce Hawthorne blurted out with all his usual grace and charm.
“Pierce is right,” an unfazed Shirley replied. “If Britta and Abed don’t get here soon we’re gonna need to just start without them.”
“Guys, I’m worried about Britta,” Annie commented. “She missed our class in the History of Protest today. That’s not like her at all. Do you think something happened to her?”
“She probably ran off with some cabal of carnies and terrorists,” Pierce said dismissively.
“Logical conclusion to jump to,” Jeff deadpanned.
“Britta’s a vampire now,” Abed stated matter-of-factly as he swiftly marched into the study room.
“Another perfectly reasonable explanation,” Jeff replied.
A notably more alarmed Troy looked to Abed with concern. “Are you sure?”
Abed nodded. “It’s pretty obvious. She’s only been going to night classes. She stopped putting garlic on her pizza. Plus I saw her get attacked by a vampire about a week ago.”
***
Down the hall, the aforementioned freshly turned vampire was making the transition in a way that only Britta Perry truly could. Prowling the halls, Britta was handing out fliers to every other vampire that crossed her path. She had managed to corner one a moment ago. The confused vampire stared up from the flier and up at Britta. “What is V.E.T.H.?” he asked, confused.
“Vampires for the Ethical Treatment of Humans. It’s a new organization I’m founding, and we need members who are willing to...” Britta began. But by this point the vamp had balled her flier to the ground and begun walking away. “People are people too, you know!”
“Hey, you there,” Spike called to Britta as he strode into the room. The vamp seemed to have already recruited five or six random vampiric thugs, and the First trailed behind him in the form of Drusilla. Looking to Britta, Spike grinned. “You wanna have a little fun, sweetheart?”
“It depends on whether you consider having fun to be readjusting the maligned priorities of the violence-oriented vampire culture?”
“Bloody hell, nevermind.” Spike rolled his eyes. He took a few steps forward before looking back. “Annie Edison, where I can find her?”
Britta immediately shook her head, “Me... no... I... Annie who? I never knew an Annie?” While she wasn’t sure why the vampire was inquiring about Annie, she knew it couldn’t be for any good reason.
“Blathering fool,” Spike mumbled as he turned and continued to patrol the campus.
***
By this point, Troy and Abed had taken up a spot in the corner of the room and begun breaking down furniture and carving in into stakes. Pierce was whining about how long this was taking, and Jeff was texting... still.
Britta came rushing into the study room. “Annie! There’s a chauvinist vampire after you,” she exclaimed, out of breath.
“Don’t you start going on about this, too. I have to put my kids to bed; I don’t have time for any vampire nonsense,” Shirley replied.
“It’s true,” Britta panted. “Look.” As her face shifted to its vampiric form, most of the study group looked on in horror and shock.
Troy let out a twisted and childish scream. Annie let out a high pitched squeal of shock. “Sweet Jesus, help us,” Shirley muttered, clinging to her purse and leaning back away from Britta.
Abed looked completely nonchalant as he muttered, “Cool. Cool, cool, cool.”
***
While Dean Pelton was organizing the closet of stylish women’s wigs in his office, Spike and his minions came charging in. “Well hello there, tall dark and angry. What can the Dean help you with today?”
Not wasting a second, Spike vamped out, grabbed the dean by the throat, and pinned him to the wall. “Annie Edison. Where is she?”
“Library, study room F,” the dean squeaked out.
“Take me there,” Spike snarled.
The Dean nodded in agreement. Spike let his throat loose and led the clan of vampires down the halls.
***
Back in study room F, the majority of the students scrambled. Shirley passed out oversized crosses she just happened to be carrying with her that day. Annie, Troy, and Abed had broken down the table and cobbled it into an oversized cross. As they used the cross to block the doorway, Jeff remained seated and cast a disparaging eye towards them. “Explain to me again how this is a better plan than just leaving?” he asked.
“They have all the exits covered. But as long as we keep them out of here until sunrise, we should be safe,” Troy responded.
“Sunrise, the standard of success and survival in all vampire media,” Abed added.
“Well aren’t we a clever little thing,” Spike’s voice echoed as the vampire slowly and calmly entered the library. He sounded almost amused as he and his five or six recruits poured into the library.
Meanwhile, the First stood in the doorway with Dean Pelton. “I absolutely love your dress by the way,” the Dean informed the greatest evil force the world had ever known. “It’s very Elvira,” he added.
The clear plexiglass walls of the study room provided the humans with a safe barrier but also allowed a complete visual as Spike waltzed up to it and gave it a swift slam.
The group (for the most part) recoiled, huddling in the center of the room. The reaction clearly amused Spike. “Don’t worry,” Abed reassured. “Vampire lore is pretty clear. He won’t be able to get through the door with the cross in it.”
“Here’s an idea,” Spike snarled as he moved around to the doorway. “You take this thing down and I’ll let some of you live.”
“Here’s an idea, no!” Annie shouted back, mustering up her courage. “Why don’t you just go away because you can’t get in here!”
“No, but I can kill this one if you refuse to let me in.” As Spike replied he stepped back from the study room and towards his minions. Pulling Dean Pelton by the arm, he dragged the man towards the room. “Would you like to see him die?”
“Oh, no! The Dean!” Shirley cried out in shock.
“We need to do something,” Annie said, looking around to the others.
“Jeffrey!” The Dean called in a panic. “Save me.”
“I’m not going to do that,” Jeff, who had remained seated and absorbed in his phone the entire time, remarked drily.
“But I will,” a voice called out, and everyone turned to see two puffs of dust where Spike’s cronies once stood. As the dust cleared, a petite blonde girl stood in the wake. Behind her was a bookish looking older gentleman in a tweed jacket and glasses.
“Slayer,” Spike said as he turned to see Buffy.
“Spike, why don’t you let the nice school official go?” Buffy said.
“Oh such fun!” The First cheered.
Tossing Dean Pelton to the ground, Spike charged headlong at Buffy. As the two engage in hand to hand battle, Giles produced a sword and quickly cut down one of the other vamps while making a beeline for the study room door. Ducking under one arm of the cross, he rushed into the room. The group moved to help Giles to his feet. “Thank you,” Giles said, glancing back over his shoulder. Buffy was keeping Spike at bay, but it seemed that other vamps were pouring into the battle every second. “Which one of you is Annie?” Giles asked.
“Me,” Annie said raising her hand. “What is going on? Why is that man after me?”
“Because you may very well have to save the world one day.” Giles replied.
“What does that mean?” she asked.
“I’m afraid I’ll have to tell you later. It’s a bit of a long story.” Giles replied.
“I bet it’s an ancient prophecy foretelling of one girl who will fight off the evil forces plaguing the world and save the Earth from vampires,” Abed said coolly.
“Well... yes actually that’s quite correct.” Giles said, a bit taken aback. “Now, are there any ways out of this room other than that door?”
“Nope,” Abed said, “just that vent. But I’m pretty sure that’s too small for vampires.” Abed paused, thinking for a beat. “Unless they can turn into bats, though that seems to have fallen out of most modern representations of vampires. They can’t turn into bats, can they?”
“No, they in fact cannot,” Giles remarked rolling his eyes a bit at the suggestion. “Well you actually were very clever with your cross trick,” he said, gesturing to the door. “As long as that holds up everything should be OK for a while.”
No sooner did Giles make that statement than did Dean Pelton come crashing through door, knocking the hastily crafted cross apart. Scrambling over to Jeff, the dean clutched his leg. “Thank you, Jeffrey. You saved me.”
“Don’t touch me,” Jeff replied evenly.
“Everyone stand back!” Giles said, lifting up his sword as the vampire cronies began to pour in.
While most of the study group scurried to take cover behind Giles, Jeff remained quietly fiddling with his phone in the corner. “Hurry up!” Giles shouted. “Get back here where it’s safe.”
“You can’t tell me what to do,” Jeff shot back angrily at a confused Giles.
With little time for debates, the three remaining vampiric minions came pouring in the door, making a break for Annie. While Giles took swings at one vamp, Shirley charged head long, beating another into submission with her person. “I am not in the mood for this,” Shirley remarked in her low serious voice.
Troy, Annie, Abed and Pierce fumbled about with Troy and Abed’s homemade stakes, more or less getting tossed about by the vamp. Dean Pelton clung to Jeff, whispering, “I’m scared, Jeffery.”
“Britta, help!” Annie cried in vain as she looked to their superpowered ally.
“Just because I’ve become a demonic creature of the night doesn’t mean I’m not still devoted to non-violence,” she replied.
“God,” Jeff scoffed, “Even as a vampire you’re lame.”
“Good Lord,” Shirley mumbled under her breath, as Giles dispatched his demon and quickly moved to bail out Shirley. As Giles managed to dust Shirley’s vamp, Annie, Abed, and Troy managed to stake a vampire and Pierce had managed to stake himself in the arm three times.
A frustrated Giles snapped at Jeff. “What could you possibly have been doing that was more important than this!?”
“Shut up! You’re not my real dad!” Jeff shouted back.
“He’s got daddy issues,” Shirley informed Giles.
“Come on,” Abed said, moving towards the door. “I know a safe place for us to regroup.” Leading the pack, he made for the door.
“Buffy!” Giles shouted to the Slayer as the group snuck off down the hall. “Do you think you can hold him off a little longer?”
“Just run, Giles! I’ll find you,” she reassured him as she sent Spike flying through a stack of books.
With the lengthy train of people disappearing down the hallway, Buffy returned her attention to Spike. “Spike, listen to me, this isn’t you,” she stressed between punches. “The First is doing something to you.”
“Not now, Slayer,” Spike spat back, hitting Buffy hard and allowing himself the chance to get to his feet. “I’ve got a Potential to catch.”
***
“What on Earth is that?” Giles said as he looked at the linen monstrosity that Abed had led him to.
“New New Fluffytown,” Abed replied.
Realizing that meant literally nothing to Giles, Annie stepped in to clarify. “It’s Abed’s pillow fort.”
“His pillow what?”
“None of the vampires will be able to get in without an invitation,” Abed said confidently as the others began to crawl into the fort.
“I suppose,” Giles muttered, almost pained by the level of silliness at play.
“Giles! Better get to moving. He’s on his way,” Buffy shouted from a distance as she chased Spike down the hall.
By the time the Slayer and the vamp had arrived, the group had disappeared into the pillow fort. Giles stuck his head out and looked to Buffy. “In here, Buffy.”
“Interesting take,” she said confused. After a quick smack sent Spike flying in the opposite direction she dove into the fort.
***
Once inside, Buffy was greeted by Giles and Abed, with the others apparently much deeper in the pillow fort. “This way,” Abed prompted. “Everyone’s set up camp in the Armenian district of New New Fluffytown,” On hands and knees, Abed lead the rather confused Watcher and equally weirded out Slayer through the labyrinth of a fort.
Amazed by the depth and detail, Buffy remarked “Wow, surprisingly roomy.”
As the trio reached New New Fluffytown it became apparent that they’d arrived just in time to catch the tail end of a trademark Jeff Winger speech. “So, yes, there are vampires in our school and Britta might be one of them, but we’ve dealt with bloodsuckers before,” Jeff said in a stirring and dramatic fashion. “So as long as we stick together we can get out of this alive... except Britta.”
“All right, here’s the deal.” Buffy stepped in, taking the floor. “Spike’s men are monitoring the halls and have the doors locked down pretty hard right now. So we’re going to need a distraction so we can make a run for it.”
“We could use Annie’s Boobs for that.” Troy suggested.
“Not the type of distraction I was thinking of. I seriously doubt that would get us anywhere unless the vampires are hormone-riddled teenagers,” Buffy replied.
“Annie’s Boobs is Troy’s pet monkey,” Abed clarified.
“You have a pet monkey?” Giles queried.
“I know, isn’t it awesome!” Troy replied.
“Quite so,” Giles replied, less than enthusiastically. “And you’ve named it Annie’s bosom?”
“Annie’s boobs,” Troy corrected.
A befuddled Giles searched for a response but just wound up cleaning his glasses.
“And you thought Xander was immature,” Buffy smirked at her Watcher.
“Enough about Annie’s Boobs,” Jeff cut in. “The vampires are only here because they want Annie dead, right?” After a silence confirmed his comment Jeff continued “Then why don’t we just kill her?”
Annie let out one of her trademark whimper/gasps of surprise/outrage. “Jeff! How could you say that!?”
“I’m not saying we really kill you. I’m saying we convince them you’re dead so the vampires will go away.”
“Oh,” Annie replied, clearly processing the claim.
“That’s actually not half bad,” Giles mumbled.
“Too risky.” Buffy shook her head “What if the First could tell? We’d just be sitting ducks.”
***
Outside the pillowfort, Spike was making yet another headlong charge for the entrance but found himself unable to pass through. “You’ve got to be soddin’ kidding me,” he growled in a rage. Picking up a nearby book, he hurled it at the fort. It hit hard causing the walls to cave. A smile curled on his face as he scooped a handful of books and began decimating the fort.
***
“We’re taking on severe structural damage,” Abed warned as the pillows around them began to quake.
“We’re just going to have to run with the plan,” Buffy said. She looked to the study group. “Remember. Smaller groups will move more quietly. Don’t be a hero just get to the... what... is it again.”
“Air conditioning repair annex,” Troy said.
“Yeah, whatever. The rest of us are going to head towards the Dean’s office and try and get out the door on the east end of the school,” she explained.
***
By the time Spike had decimated the fort, the study group had cleared out. With its expansive and complex nature he knew they could’ve gone any number of ways, and he wasn’t happy about it. Mumbling to himself, he beat his way back to the halls to patrol.
***
Over by the east exit, a couple of newly minted vampires were guarding the doors when a monkey came scampering by. The two vamps exchanged a look and moved to investigate the simian. Clearing a path, the two low rent vampire cronies didn’t even notice as the silhouettes of three women and two men crept down the halls. Sticking to the shadows, it was almost impossible for the normal person to notice what was going on. True, one could notice a flash of Annie’s sweater, the tail end of Buffy’s ponytail, or Abed’s unusually lanky outline if they looked hard. Unfortunately, The First was looking hard. Materializing in the doorway as Drusilla, the First smirked at Buffy. “Someone’s bein’ a very naughty girl. Spikey-wikey is going to have to stop you.”
“Run. It’s just air. It can’t hurt you,” Buffy said in a panic, hoping they could make one last sprint for the door.
“I can though,” Spike’s voice sent chills up her spine. Spike and Buffy locked in
combat; the Slayer was determined to get through to him. “Spike, listen to me,” she shouted as she kicked him down the hall and into a set of lockers. “You don’t have to do this.”
“Buffy I...” Spike seemed to struggle as he got to his feet, throwing another punch at her.
Buffy intercepted the punch with her hand, but dropped his fist shortly after. “I’m done fighting, Spike. I’m done. If you really can’t control yourself, if the First has complete control over you then just bite me now.”
Spike lunged. Grabbing her by the shoulders, he shoved her into the lockers. But looking down upon her, the newly restored soul in Spike’s body was screaming. The First’s hypnotic suggestions were blaring in the back of his mind. He should do it. He should end Buffy now. She’s the Slayer and he’s a vampire but... she’s Buffy. “Buffy,” he said, his voice trembling as he relented.
“Go!” she ordered motioning to the door “Get back to Sunnydale and we’ll figure this out there.”
“I’m sorry, love,” Spike muttered as he turned tail and ran out into the night.
It all happened so fast from there. Buffy could hardly even make out exactly what was happening. Vampire flunkies had swarmed the other members of her party. Between the shadow and the constant movement, it was impossible to see what was occurring. Most of the vampires went for the sweater-clad figure with shoulder length black hair. While some effort was put in by Abed and Troy to help ward off the demons nothing could’ve prepared them for Britta Perry. In her attempt to help, the noted pacifist finally took up arms, and wound up sinking her newly minted vampire fangs into someone’s neck... sadly someone on her side of the fight.
Buffy’s face dropped as the body fell to the floor. “Annie!” Troy cried out in shock as he dropped to the ground next to it. “Britta what did you do?!”
“I’m sorry...” Britta said, walking away, blood trickling down her chin. “I’ve never fought before.”
“Rule one, don’t eat your allies,” Buffy muttered. Britta looked to be in shock, completely numb. The two vamps had taken a step back as Troy and Abed huddled over the body.
The First shifting into the form of Cassie Newton, smiled in delight. “Well, that’s a fun surprise,” she smirked “I mean, I knew you were going to let yet another girl die, but I didn’t think this would be how. Not that how matters. Just goes to prove that you’re completely incapable of protecting people. Hey, maybe if you die now the new Slayer will do a halfway decent job,” she laughed “Assuming you don’t let me take them all down first.”
Buffy’s face hardened. Anger and pain burned in her eyes. Her fingers curled around the stake in her hand as she stared that dead girl in the face. “You think you’re so smart and strong. With your whole ‘war is coming‘ big time evil kind of way. Well I’ve been here. I’ve fought big bad guys before, and I’ve lost people, but there’s one thing that stays the same,” Buffy gritted. “I win.”
Stepping over to the body on the floor, Buffy knelt down. “Now, you like twists?” She flipped the body to reveal Dean Pelton, with a wig and in Annie’s clothing.
“Hello, that’s such a cute blouse!” Dean Pelton said, motioning towards the First.
“What... but...” The First muttered, looking down at him.
“That’s not Annie,” Buffy finished. “Giles snuck her and the others out the back.” She smirked, quickly and easily finishing off the two remaining vamps before they thought to react. “You can probably try and find someone to catch them, but she and Giles will be halfway to Sunnydale by now.”
“Oh, you might think you’ve won, but that’s only one puny Potential, and I’m just getting warmed up,” the First snarked before disappearing in flash of light.
“Sore loser, that one,” Buffy said, shaking her head. Letting out a sigh of relief, she looked to the others “Giles is bringing your friend to stay with me and other girls like her. You should all do your best to just stay safe and out of harm’s way,”
Buffy gave a sideways glance to Britta. She seemed uneasy leaving a vampire, but she seemed surprisingly harmless for a vamp. “Don’t worry,” Troy said. “We’ll be safe.”
“And thank you for saving all of our lives,” Shirley said. She, Pierce and Jeff came stomping down the halls to join the others. “That’s nice.”
“No problem,” Buffy shrugged. “That’s what I do.” As the Slayer turned and walked out of the doors of Greendale Community College, the study group plus Dean Pelton looked on.
“Today was weird,” Jeff said. “Even for us.”
-END-
Prompts:
-Community/Buffy: Greendale has had zombies. Time for vampires.
-Distraction
-Reluctant teamwork
Author: fanboi214
Fandoms: Buffy/Community
Characters: Buffy Summers, Rupert Giles, Spike (Incidental Willow Rosenberg, Anya Jenkins, Xander Harris, Dawn Summers); Abed Nadir, Annie Edison, Troy Barnes, Jeff Winger, Shirley Bennett, Britta Perry, Pierce Hawthorne, Dean Pelton, (Incidental Ian Duncan)
Pairings: Minor undertones of Buffy/Spike
Rating: PG
Word count: 4,547
Spoilers: The story falls in Mid-Season 7 of the Buffy continuity sometime between “Never Leave Me” and “Lies My Parents Told me. In the Community continuity it would fall sometime in season 3 after “Pillows and Blankets.”
Warnings: None.
Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Community belong to their respective creators
A/N: First I want to thank etoiledunord for betaing this mess. Second I’d say that I tried to right a fic that was kind of like what “School Hard” would’ve been in the Greendale Universe.
Summary: Annie is a Potential Slayer. While the First has sent Spike to kill her, Buffy and Giles hope to get her to Sunnydale.
The world was about to end -- that is of course assuming that a sarcastic blonde twenty-something named Buffy Summers didn’t manage to avert yet another apocalypse. Buffy was an official, experienced apocalypse-averter, as well as the one true Slayer of her generation. Still, things weren’t looking particularly good for our girl. The First Evil had manager to turn her former nemesis/ex-boyfriend into a vampiric puppet of destruction, plus her house had become the newest hostel for wayward Potential Slayers. While said Potentials were training in the backyard, Buffy herself was cloistered in the dining room with Giles and an unexpected visitor. Willow, Dawn, and Xander stood outside the door, their ears pressed to the wood in their best attempt to eavesdrop.
“What’s going on?” Anya asked as she approached the group.
“Some old Watcher friend of Giles’ showed up,” Xander replied. “He and Buffy have been holed up in there ever since.”
“Technically we don’t know he’s a Watcher,” Willow corrected.
“He has a funky English accent,” Dawn reported.
“He’s a Watcher,” Anya nodded. Stepping forward, the former vengeance demon began to open the door.
“Anya!” Willow scolded as she interrupted her. “You can’t just walk in there. If they closed the door they want privacy.”
“But I wish to know what they’re saying,” Anya replied, confused.
Little did the Scoobies realize that they weren’t missing much... at all. The mysterious ‘Watcher’ was actually Ian Duncan, the guidance councilor of Greendale Community College and the laughing stock of the Watcher’s Council. His expulsion from the council several years ago actually allowed him to survive its subsequent bombing. Although Duncan was technically no longer part of the Council he had kept his ear to the ground and had been compiling a list of what he considered to be paranormal activities.
As Duncan continued to ramble on about incidents that seemed to range from mildly abnormal to entirely human, Giles struggled to see an end to the absurdity. Buffy sat with her head in her hands and a look of boredom so intense that Giles hadn’t seen it since he helped her study for the SATs. Rising from his seat, Giles decided to put an end to this. “Well, thank you for your keen and detailed observations, Mr. Duncan. We’ll look into as many of them as we can I’m sure, but with apocalypse approaching there is a bit of an expected spike in supernatural activity across the board. Especially with Greenvale’s proximity to the Hellmouth.”
“Greendale,” Ian corrected, rising to his feet to stop Gile’s polite exit. “But I haven’t even gotten to the most important part.”
“You haven’t?” Buffy spit out in shock.
“Lately our campus seems to have been completely overrun with vampires,” Ian reported.
“Great,” Buffy said getting up. “Cliff notes are, stay indoors at night, don’t wear anything bright and don’t invite strangers into your house.”
“Yes, yes, but I think they’re being drawn there by something, a girl. A Potential Slayer,” Ian clarified.
“Bury the lead much?” Buffy sighed, before exchanging glances with Giles.
“Could we speak to this girl?” Giles asked looking to him.
“Oh well... I didn’t bring her with me,” he responded.
“Of course not,” Buffy groaned.
“But I can tell you her name. Her name is Annie Edison.”
“Oooooh what fun!” A hauntingly gleeful English voice echoed from the corner. And there stood Drusilla, or at least something that looked like Drusilla.
“Oh, I’m sorry. We haven’t met,” Ian said, moving to greet the entity.
“Stay where you are,” Giles warned, reaching his hand out to prevent the off-kilter guidance councilor from moving closer. “That’s the First.”
“The first at what precisely?” Ian replied, not grasping.
“Sorry,” Buffy cut in, addressing the First, “Don’t really have time to play your games.”
“Not fair! That’s no fun,” Drusilla replied in her singsong way. “I guess Annie Edison will just have to die, another Potential let down by Buffy Summers.”
“You know you talk a nice talk, but we all know you can’t touch anyone, let alone kill them,” Buffy bit back.
In a flash of light, Drusilla’s image shifted to that of Spike. “But I can, love.” Buffy tried to hide the uneasiness in her face, but the First didn’t let anything pass by it. “Now no need to clam up now, Slayer. Come on. It’ll be like when we first met. You and me hunting each other around school grounds. You can even bring the old Brit.” The First motioned to Giles. “I’m sure Willow wouldn’t mind watchin’ the Little Bit.”
Buffy’s face hardened. “You might think you have control over Spike but you don’t. Not in the end. Not deep down.”
The First only smirked. “Time’s wasting, Slayer. He’s already on his way.”
***
A hundred miles up the California coast a motorbike went careening into an unsuspecting sign that read “Welcome to Greendale.” Meanwhile, an unsuspecting Annie Edison was in the depths of Greendale Community College study room F with a handful of the college’s most prestigious and devoted students.
“Do you think I could glue myself to the roof if I used an entire container of super glue?” Troy Barnes pondered aloud from his seat at the table. Greendale’s student body could, at times, leave something to be desired.
“I don’t know. You should try,” the always flippant Jeff Winger replied, not averting his gaze from the phone he’d been staring at all evening.
As Troy began to stand, Annie placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him. “Don’t try that.” Offering no resistance, Troy sank back down to his seat, pouting.
“Where are the hippie and the Arab? I want to go home,” Pierce Hawthorne blurted out with all his usual grace and charm.
“Pierce is right,” an unfazed Shirley replied. “If Britta and Abed don’t get here soon we’re gonna need to just start without them.”
“Guys, I’m worried about Britta,” Annie commented. “She missed our class in the History of Protest today. That’s not like her at all. Do you think something happened to her?”
“She probably ran off with some cabal of carnies and terrorists,” Pierce said dismissively.
“Logical conclusion to jump to,” Jeff deadpanned.
“Britta’s a vampire now,” Abed stated matter-of-factly as he swiftly marched into the study room.
“Another perfectly reasonable explanation,” Jeff replied.
A notably more alarmed Troy looked to Abed with concern. “Are you sure?”
Abed nodded. “It’s pretty obvious. She’s only been going to night classes. She stopped putting garlic on her pizza. Plus I saw her get attacked by a vampire about a week ago.”
***
Down the hall, the aforementioned freshly turned vampire was making the transition in a way that only Britta Perry truly could. Prowling the halls, Britta was handing out fliers to every other vampire that crossed her path. She had managed to corner one a moment ago. The confused vampire stared up from the flier and up at Britta. “What is V.E.T.H.?” he asked, confused.
“Vampires for the Ethical Treatment of Humans. It’s a new organization I’m founding, and we need members who are willing to...” Britta began. But by this point the vamp had balled her flier to the ground and begun walking away. “People are people too, you know!”
“Hey, you there,” Spike called to Britta as he strode into the room. The vamp seemed to have already recruited five or six random vampiric thugs, and the First trailed behind him in the form of Drusilla. Looking to Britta, Spike grinned. “You wanna have a little fun, sweetheart?”
“It depends on whether you consider having fun to be readjusting the maligned priorities of the violence-oriented vampire culture?”
“Bloody hell, nevermind.” Spike rolled his eyes. He took a few steps forward before looking back. “Annie Edison, where I can find her?”
Britta immediately shook her head, “Me... no... I... Annie who? I never knew an Annie?” While she wasn’t sure why the vampire was inquiring about Annie, she knew it couldn’t be for any good reason.
“Blathering fool,” Spike mumbled as he turned and continued to patrol the campus.
***
By this point, Troy and Abed had taken up a spot in the corner of the room and begun breaking down furniture and carving in into stakes. Pierce was whining about how long this was taking, and Jeff was texting... still.
Britta came rushing into the study room. “Annie! There’s a chauvinist vampire after you,” she exclaimed, out of breath.
“Don’t you start going on about this, too. I have to put my kids to bed; I don’t have time for any vampire nonsense,” Shirley replied.
“It’s true,” Britta panted. “Look.” As her face shifted to its vampiric form, most of the study group looked on in horror and shock.
Troy let out a twisted and childish scream. Annie let out a high pitched squeal of shock. “Sweet Jesus, help us,” Shirley muttered, clinging to her purse and leaning back away from Britta.
Abed looked completely nonchalant as he muttered, “Cool. Cool, cool, cool.”
***
While Dean Pelton was organizing the closet of stylish women’s wigs in his office, Spike and his minions came charging in. “Well hello there, tall dark and angry. What can the Dean help you with today?”
Not wasting a second, Spike vamped out, grabbed the dean by the throat, and pinned him to the wall. “Annie Edison. Where is she?”
“Library, study room F,” the dean squeaked out.
“Take me there,” Spike snarled.
The Dean nodded in agreement. Spike let his throat loose and led the clan of vampires down the halls.
***
Back in study room F, the majority of the students scrambled. Shirley passed out oversized crosses she just happened to be carrying with her that day. Annie, Troy, and Abed had broken down the table and cobbled it into an oversized cross. As they used the cross to block the doorway, Jeff remained seated and cast a disparaging eye towards them. “Explain to me again how this is a better plan than just leaving?” he asked.
“They have all the exits covered. But as long as we keep them out of here until sunrise, we should be safe,” Troy responded.
“Sunrise, the standard of success and survival in all vampire media,” Abed added.
“Well aren’t we a clever little thing,” Spike’s voice echoed as the vampire slowly and calmly entered the library. He sounded almost amused as he and his five or six recruits poured into the library.
Meanwhile, the First stood in the doorway with Dean Pelton. “I absolutely love your dress by the way,” the Dean informed the greatest evil force the world had ever known. “It’s very Elvira,” he added.
The clear plexiglass walls of the study room provided the humans with a safe barrier but also allowed a complete visual as Spike waltzed up to it and gave it a swift slam.
The group (for the most part) recoiled, huddling in the center of the room. The reaction clearly amused Spike. “Don’t worry,” Abed reassured. “Vampire lore is pretty clear. He won’t be able to get through the door with the cross in it.”
“Here’s an idea,” Spike snarled as he moved around to the doorway. “You take this thing down and I’ll let some of you live.”
“Here’s an idea, no!” Annie shouted back, mustering up her courage. “Why don’t you just go away because you can’t get in here!”
“No, but I can kill this one if you refuse to let me in.” As Spike replied he stepped back from the study room and towards his minions. Pulling Dean Pelton by the arm, he dragged the man towards the room. “Would you like to see him die?”
“Oh, no! The Dean!” Shirley cried out in shock.
“We need to do something,” Annie said, looking around to the others.
“Jeffrey!” The Dean called in a panic. “Save me.”
“I’m not going to do that,” Jeff, who had remained seated and absorbed in his phone the entire time, remarked drily.
“But I will,” a voice called out, and everyone turned to see two puffs of dust where Spike’s cronies once stood. As the dust cleared, a petite blonde girl stood in the wake. Behind her was a bookish looking older gentleman in a tweed jacket and glasses.
“Slayer,” Spike said as he turned to see Buffy.
“Spike, why don’t you let the nice school official go?” Buffy said.
“Oh such fun!” The First cheered.
Tossing Dean Pelton to the ground, Spike charged headlong at Buffy. As the two engage in hand to hand battle, Giles produced a sword and quickly cut down one of the other vamps while making a beeline for the study room door. Ducking under one arm of the cross, he rushed into the room. The group moved to help Giles to his feet. “Thank you,” Giles said, glancing back over his shoulder. Buffy was keeping Spike at bay, but it seemed that other vamps were pouring into the battle every second. “Which one of you is Annie?” Giles asked.
“Me,” Annie said raising her hand. “What is going on? Why is that man after me?”
“Because you may very well have to save the world one day.” Giles replied.
“What does that mean?” she asked.
“I’m afraid I’ll have to tell you later. It’s a bit of a long story.” Giles replied.
“I bet it’s an ancient prophecy foretelling of one girl who will fight off the evil forces plaguing the world and save the Earth from vampires,” Abed said coolly.
“Well... yes actually that’s quite correct.” Giles said, a bit taken aback. “Now, are there any ways out of this room other than that door?”
“Nope,” Abed said, “just that vent. But I’m pretty sure that’s too small for vampires.” Abed paused, thinking for a beat. “Unless they can turn into bats, though that seems to have fallen out of most modern representations of vampires. They can’t turn into bats, can they?”
“No, they in fact cannot,” Giles remarked rolling his eyes a bit at the suggestion. “Well you actually were very clever with your cross trick,” he said, gesturing to the door. “As long as that holds up everything should be OK for a while.”
No sooner did Giles make that statement than did Dean Pelton come crashing through door, knocking the hastily crafted cross apart. Scrambling over to Jeff, the dean clutched his leg. “Thank you, Jeffrey. You saved me.”
“Don’t touch me,” Jeff replied evenly.
“Everyone stand back!” Giles said, lifting up his sword as the vampire cronies began to pour in.
While most of the study group scurried to take cover behind Giles, Jeff remained quietly fiddling with his phone in the corner. “Hurry up!” Giles shouted. “Get back here where it’s safe.”
“You can’t tell me what to do,” Jeff shot back angrily at a confused Giles.
With little time for debates, the three remaining vampiric minions came pouring in the door, making a break for Annie. While Giles took swings at one vamp, Shirley charged head long, beating another into submission with her person. “I am not in the mood for this,” Shirley remarked in her low serious voice.
Troy, Annie, Abed and Pierce fumbled about with Troy and Abed’s homemade stakes, more or less getting tossed about by the vamp. Dean Pelton clung to Jeff, whispering, “I’m scared, Jeffery.”
“Britta, help!” Annie cried in vain as she looked to their superpowered ally.
“Just because I’ve become a demonic creature of the night doesn’t mean I’m not still devoted to non-violence,” she replied.
“God,” Jeff scoffed, “Even as a vampire you’re lame.”
“Good Lord,” Shirley mumbled under her breath, as Giles dispatched his demon and quickly moved to bail out Shirley. As Giles managed to dust Shirley’s vamp, Annie, Abed, and Troy managed to stake a vampire and Pierce had managed to stake himself in the arm three times.
A frustrated Giles snapped at Jeff. “What could you possibly have been doing that was more important than this!?”
“Shut up! You’re not my real dad!” Jeff shouted back.
“He’s got daddy issues,” Shirley informed Giles.
“Come on,” Abed said, moving towards the door. “I know a safe place for us to regroup.” Leading the pack, he made for the door.
“Buffy!” Giles shouted to the Slayer as the group snuck off down the hall. “Do you think you can hold him off a little longer?”
“Just run, Giles! I’ll find you,” she reassured him as she sent Spike flying through a stack of books.
With the lengthy train of people disappearing down the hallway, Buffy returned her attention to Spike. “Spike, listen to me, this isn’t you,” she stressed between punches. “The First is doing something to you.”
“Not now, Slayer,” Spike spat back, hitting Buffy hard and allowing himself the chance to get to his feet. “I’ve got a Potential to catch.”
***
“What on Earth is that?” Giles said as he looked at the linen monstrosity that Abed had led him to.
“New New Fluffytown,” Abed replied.
Realizing that meant literally nothing to Giles, Annie stepped in to clarify. “It’s Abed’s pillow fort.”
“His pillow what?”
“None of the vampires will be able to get in without an invitation,” Abed said confidently as the others began to crawl into the fort.
“I suppose,” Giles muttered, almost pained by the level of silliness at play.
“Giles! Better get to moving. He’s on his way,” Buffy shouted from a distance as she chased Spike down the hall.
By the time the Slayer and the vamp had arrived, the group had disappeared into the pillow fort. Giles stuck his head out and looked to Buffy. “In here, Buffy.”
“Interesting take,” she said confused. After a quick smack sent Spike flying in the opposite direction she dove into the fort.
***
Once inside, Buffy was greeted by Giles and Abed, with the others apparently much deeper in the pillow fort. “This way,” Abed prompted. “Everyone’s set up camp in the Armenian district of New New Fluffytown,” On hands and knees, Abed lead the rather confused Watcher and equally weirded out Slayer through the labyrinth of a fort.
Amazed by the depth and detail, Buffy remarked “Wow, surprisingly roomy.”
As the trio reached New New Fluffytown it became apparent that they’d arrived just in time to catch the tail end of a trademark Jeff Winger speech. “So, yes, there are vampires in our school and Britta might be one of them, but we’ve dealt with bloodsuckers before,” Jeff said in a stirring and dramatic fashion. “So as long as we stick together we can get out of this alive... except Britta.”
“All right, here’s the deal.” Buffy stepped in, taking the floor. “Spike’s men are monitoring the halls and have the doors locked down pretty hard right now. So we’re going to need a distraction so we can make a run for it.”
“We could use Annie’s Boobs for that.” Troy suggested.
“Not the type of distraction I was thinking of. I seriously doubt that would get us anywhere unless the vampires are hormone-riddled teenagers,” Buffy replied.
“Annie’s Boobs is Troy’s pet monkey,” Abed clarified.
“You have a pet monkey?” Giles queried.
“I know, isn’t it awesome!” Troy replied.
“Quite so,” Giles replied, less than enthusiastically. “And you’ve named it Annie’s bosom?”
“Annie’s boobs,” Troy corrected.
A befuddled Giles searched for a response but just wound up cleaning his glasses.
“And you thought Xander was immature,” Buffy smirked at her Watcher.
“Enough about Annie’s Boobs,” Jeff cut in. “The vampires are only here because they want Annie dead, right?” After a silence confirmed his comment Jeff continued “Then why don’t we just kill her?”
Annie let out one of her trademark whimper/gasps of surprise/outrage. “Jeff! How could you say that!?”
“I’m not saying we really kill you. I’m saying we convince them you’re dead so the vampires will go away.”
“Oh,” Annie replied, clearly processing the claim.
“That’s actually not half bad,” Giles mumbled.
“Too risky.” Buffy shook her head “What if the First could tell? We’d just be sitting ducks.”
***
Outside the pillowfort, Spike was making yet another headlong charge for the entrance but found himself unable to pass through. “You’ve got to be soddin’ kidding me,” he growled in a rage. Picking up a nearby book, he hurled it at the fort. It hit hard causing the walls to cave. A smile curled on his face as he scooped a handful of books and began decimating the fort.
***
“We’re taking on severe structural damage,” Abed warned as the pillows around them began to quake.
“We’re just going to have to run with the plan,” Buffy said. She looked to the study group. “Remember. Smaller groups will move more quietly. Don’t be a hero just get to the... what... is it again.”
“Air conditioning repair annex,” Troy said.
“Yeah, whatever. The rest of us are going to head towards the Dean’s office and try and get out the door on the east end of the school,” she explained.
***
By the time Spike had decimated the fort, the study group had cleared out. With its expansive and complex nature he knew they could’ve gone any number of ways, and he wasn’t happy about it. Mumbling to himself, he beat his way back to the halls to patrol.
***
Over by the east exit, a couple of newly minted vampires were guarding the doors when a monkey came scampering by. The two vamps exchanged a look and moved to investigate the simian. Clearing a path, the two low rent vampire cronies didn’t even notice as the silhouettes of three women and two men crept down the halls. Sticking to the shadows, it was almost impossible for the normal person to notice what was going on. True, one could notice a flash of Annie’s sweater, the tail end of Buffy’s ponytail, or Abed’s unusually lanky outline if they looked hard. Unfortunately, The First was looking hard. Materializing in the doorway as Drusilla, the First smirked at Buffy. “Someone’s bein’ a very naughty girl. Spikey-wikey is going to have to stop you.”
“Run. It’s just air. It can’t hurt you,” Buffy said in a panic, hoping they could make one last sprint for the door.
“I can though,” Spike’s voice sent chills up her spine. Spike and Buffy locked in
combat; the Slayer was determined to get through to him. “Spike, listen to me,” she shouted as she kicked him down the hall and into a set of lockers. “You don’t have to do this.”
“Buffy I...” Spike seemed to struggle as he got to his feet, throwing another punch at her.
Buffy intercepted the punch with her hand, but dropped his fist shortly after. “I’m done fighting, Spike. I’m done. If you really can’t control yourself, if the First has complete control over you then just bite me now.”
Spike lunged. Grabbing her by the shoulders, he shoved her into the lockers. But looking down upon her, the newly restored soul in Spike’s body was screaming. The First’s hypnotic suggestions were blaring in the back of his mind. He should do it. He should end Buffy now. She’s the Slayer and he’s a vampire but... she’s Buffy. “Buffy,” he said, his voice trembling as he relented.
“Go!” she ordered motioning to the door “Get back to Sunnydale and we’ll figure this out there.”
“I’m sorry, love,” Spike muttered as he turned tail and ran out into the night.
It all happened so fast from there. Buffy could hardly even make out exactly what was happening. Vampire flunkies had swarmed the other members of her party. Between the shadow and the constant movement, it was impossible to see what was occurring. Most of the vampires went for the sweater-clad figure with shoulder length black hair. While some effort was put in by Abed and Troy to help ward off the demons nothing could’ve prepared them for Britta Perry. In her attempt to help, the noted pacifist finally took up arms, and wound up sinking her newly minted vampire fangs into someone’s neck... sadly someone on her side of the fight.
Buffy’s face dropped as the body fell to the floor. “Annie!” Troy cried out in shock as he dropped to the ground next to it. “Britta what did you do?!”
“I’m sorry...” Britta said, walking away, blood trickling down her chin. “I’ve never fought before.”
“Rule one, don’t eat your allies,” Buffy muttered. Britta looked to be in shock, completely numb. The two vamps had taken a step back as Troy and Abed huddled over the body.
The First shifting into the form of Cassie Newton, smiled in delight. “Well, that’s a fun surprise,” she smirked “I mean, I knew you were going to let yet another girl die, but I didn’t think this would be how. Not that how matters. Just goes to prove that you’re completely incapable of protecting people. Hey, maybe if you die now the new Slayer will do a halfway decent job,” she laughed “Assuming you don’t let me take them all down first.”
Buffy’s face hardened. Anger and pain burned in her eyes. Her fingers curled around the stake in her hand as she stared that dead girl in the face. “You think you’re so smart and strong. With your whole ‘war is coming‘ big time evil kind of way. Well I’ve been here. I’ve fought big bad guys before, and I’ve lost people, but there’s one thing that stays the same,” Buffy gritted. “I win.”
Stepping over to the body on the floor, Buffy knelt down. “Now, you like twists?” She flipped the body to reveal Dean Pelton, with a wig and in Annie’s clothing.
“Hello, that’s such a cute blouse!” Dean Pelton said, motioning towards the First.
“What... but...” The First muttered, looking down at him.
“That’s not Annie,” Buffy finished. “Giles snuck her and the others out the back.” She smirked, quickly and easily finishing off the two remaining vamps before they thought to react. “You can probably try and find someone to catch them, but she and Giles will be halfway to Sunnydale by now.”
“Oh, you might think you’ve won, but that’s only one puny Potential, and I’m just getting warmed up,” the First snarked before disappearing in flash of light.
“Sore loser, that one,” Buffy said, shaking her head. Letting out a sigh of relief, she looked to the others “Giles is bringing your friend to stay with me and other girls like her. You should all do your best to just stay safe and out of harm’s way,”
Buffy gave a sideways glance to Britta. She seemed uneasy leaving a vampire, but she seemed surprisingly harmless for a vamp. “Don’t worry,” Troy said. “We’ll be safe.”
“And thank you for saving all of our lives,” Shirley said. She, Pierce and Jeff came stomping down the halls to join the others. “That’s nice.”
“No problem,” Buffy shrugged. “That’s what I do.” As the Slayer turned and walked out of the doors of Greendale Community College, the study group plus Dean Pelton looked on.
“Today was weird,” Jeff said. “Even for us.”
-END-
Prompts:
-Community/Buffy: Greendale has had zombies. Time for vampires.
-Distraction
-Reluctant teamwork