(Avengers/Leverage/White Collar) The Bet and Win Jobs for kerrykhat
Title: The Bet and Win Jobs (Or: Two Examples of Why Making Bets with Parker is Never Advisable)
Author : ladyyueh
Fandoms: White Collar/Leverage, Leverage/Avengers
Characters Neal Caffrey, Mozzie; Parker, Alec Hardison, Eliot Spencer; Clint Barton, Phil Coulson.
Pairings: None
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 1600
Spoilers: White Collar: Pre-season 1. Leverage: Up to Season 5. Avengers: Pre-canon.
Warnings: None.
Disclaimer: White Collar, Leverage, and The Avengers belong to their respective creators.
A/N: Some art and building references. Google is your friend. There was so much research for this, even if it doesn’t show it. And I only got lost to tvtropes twice! That’s an accomplishment. I hope kerrykhat enjoys this. Thanks so much to my beta, viresse12 who dealt with my whining.
Summary: “Never bet against Parker.” Two of many examples which prove that it is never advisable to make bets against Parker.
---
There were many things that Hardison had learned since starting to crusade for the underdog. A lot of them had to do with running some awesome cons and becoming a master forger, but some of the most important ones were just plain common sense.
One: Never be in the same room while Eliot trained Parker. Neither of them had any compunction about practicing their moves on innocent hackers.
Two: If you want Eliot to feed you, be the first to set the table. When Parker beats you to that, wash the dishes.
Three (a): You will always do what Sophie wants. Three (b): Never let Sophie’s tea stash run low. Ever.
Four: Batman and Xanatos had nothing on Nate.
And the fifth and most important: Never bet against Parker.
---
Neal loved France, but he had a relation amour-haine with Paris. Gorgeous buildings, a decadence of wine and chocolate, and-most important-a veritable hoard of priceless art all conveniently gathered in one city for optimal viewing pleasure.
Also, the croissants were worth paying for.
On the other hand: tourists.
When he got tired of avoiding another American that was more interested in listening to the insipid pieces of information his audio-guide fed him rather than actually looking at and being moved by a piece of art and when the slight amusement he gained from leading anyone who asked for directions as far away from La Joconde as possible turned into annoyance, he made his way to the 16th arrondissement. The Musée Marmottan Monet had some very choice pieces, more true art lovers, and posed a different challenge for a thief.
He had another day before he had to make his way to Switzerland to stay ahead of Interpol and he owed Peter a postcard. Maybe something from the Morisot collection?
Impression, soleil levant, would just be too mainstream.
***
Few changes had been made to the security since he’d last visited and while most visitors were drawn to les nymphéas he decided to spend time with Le train dans la neige. La locomotive.
A pretty blonde was in the best spot, but he didn’t let that deter him. He sidled just a bit closer to her than was polite and was ready with a charming opening.
She beat him to it. “They haven't changed the security since the last time I was here. The same number of guards and cameras. Even the same sensors on the frames,” she said with a bland American accent.
“Do you work in security, miss?”
Her smile was less smile and more challenge. “In retrieval, mostly. I’m Parker.”
He knew that name. Any thief, forger, or grafter worth their salt knew that name. “The Parker? Well, it’s a genuine pleasure. I’m Neal Caffrey.”
“I know,” Parker said bluntly.
“I’ve followed some of your work. I’m a bit of a fan,” Neal said. “Has this piece caught your interest? I’ve always enjoyed it. It’s very serene.”
“Never seen it before.” Parker’s brow was slightly furrowed before it cleared into an expression of satisfaction. “Midnight.”
“I’m sorry?” Neal asked politely.
“All I need is fifteen minutes and it’d be gone before midnight,” Parker said.
Neal arched an eyebrow. “That would be impressive,” he said in a bland tone.
“Can you do better?” Parker challenged.
“Maybe. Care to make a wager?” Neal smiled winsomely.
***
“So, who won?” Mozzie asked as he poured himself the last of the wine.
“Technically, me. But she got the rainy day stash I had in Paris so she definitely got the better end of that deal.”
“Oh, no. Not the Gauguin.”
“I’m afraid so. Also, a nice amount of uncut diamonds.”
“Well, as you know, there is no honor among thieves.”
“Yeah, learned my lesson, Moz.”
“At least you met her before she started running with Ford’s crew.”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Everyone had their niche. Coulson, he was best on the ground; seen, but completely invisible. He lived in people’s blind spots. Tasha, she’d stab you in the back to your face. You’d be so busy being blinded by just looking at her that you wouldn’t even mind when she got one over on you because you wouldn’t even realize that she had.
Clint had a thing for heights. Understandable. It was easier to rid himself of problems that cropped up if he had the higher ground.
Everyone had made at least one joke or sarcastic remark about his tendency for elevation. The first one was free, but after that Clint found a perch and used a laser pointer to provide them with an object lesson.
Suffice to say, Clint was happier the higher he was. Portland didn’t exactly inspire awe, but his impromptu nest atop Wells Fargo Tower was serviceable.
“What can you see, Barton?” Coulson’s voice was always a welcome thing. Well, unless Clint was getting-yet another-reprimand.
“Target’s still in his office, Boss. Am I actually going to see any action tonight?”
As usual, Coulson ignored the insubordination. “Doubtful. I’m en route to apprehend.”
Clint wasn’t in the mood to complain. He watched Coulson perform a smooth and calculated takedown. Their job was done.
“You up for dinner?” Clint asked as wiped all traces of his presence from the roof.
“I’ve got reports and an evening teleconference. I won’t be able to bail you out tonight so stay out of trouble,” Coulson warned.
“You know me, Boss.”
“That’s exactly the problem, Barton.”
***
The brewpub he ended up in had the best bánh mì he’d ever tasted outside of Vietnam. He was definitely going to take a couple to go. Coulson would enjoy them and that might give him enough points to wriggle free of some paper work.
He noticed the blonde that had taken a seat next to him, but didn’t notice her until she turned and asked, “What’s the highest thing you’ve climbed and/or jumped off?”
Clint smiled as he assessed her. “Do you ask everyone this or is it some kind of new pickup line I’m just not getting?”
She shook her head, not the least bit affected by his flirtation. “You like to climb. I can tell. I jumped off Sears Tower when it still was Sears Tower,” she confided.
“Bullshit,” Clint said. “You would have been all over the news.”
“No one saw me do it,” she told him like it should be obvious.
“Let’s say I believe you-“
She interrupted him. “You were in my spot this week. I do Wells Fargo when I’m bored.”
Well, damn. Was he blown? Crap, he couldn’t exactly fight his way out of a brewpub in Portland. Tasha would never let him hear the end of it.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Clint said.
She huffed. “I’m a thief and I bet my list is better than yours.”
Clint was a moron because he’d been too focused on her and not on the vaguely familiar heavy that’d been eyeing him from the kitchen. Suddenly, his bánh mì wasn’t sitting so well.
She was chewing when he looked back at her. It was his sandwich she was eating. He hadn’t even noticed the swipe. She was better than good.
At least he wasn’t poisoned.
“And if I take your bet? What do I get?” Clint had always been competitive and he was much more comfortable now that he knew he was dealing with a thief. Thievery he knew and understood.
She grinned. “If you win, you get sandwiches to go and I’ll give you the info that you missed about Morgan’s dirty dealings. When I win, you get the information and you give me an archery lesson. You first.”
Clint thought about it. She’d opened with the Sears Tower. Had she used her best jump to psych him out? “You ever jumped Petronas?”
“Off of and between the two towers. First time I tried to tightrope across and only made it about half-way before I slipped and just had to climb across the rest of the way.”
Clint had the sinking feeling that he was about to lose the bet.
***
“Oh come on! You did not BASE jump from the roof of Burj Khalifa. I need video evidence of this.”
“Is this proof enough?”
“How is this not all over YouTube? Holy shit.”
“I know a good hacker.”
“Woman, forget archery lessons we have to go climb a very tall building.”
“Archery lessons first, Hawkguy.”
***
Hardison watched the slightly buzzed SHIELD agent leave the bar with a tiny bit of sympathy. “You brutalized him, girl.”
Parker looked like the cat that got the whole damned menagerie. “Yup,” she said with pride.
“He wasn’t bad,” Eliot offered.
“Seriously? The man was like the Green Arrow, but better,” Hardison said. The impromptu archery lesson had been informative-and Hardison was trying not to remember the particular expression on Parker’s face that meant sharp and pointy trouble for him-but it was when Barton had decided to show off that the show had really started. The man had skills. Hardison would like to see him go head to head with Legolas.
“You know this is why I don’t bet with her, right?”
“Hardison, it’s why none of us bet with her.”
“Did she tell you about the time with Caffrey-”
“In Paris? With the diamonds? Yeah, you couldn’t shut up about that for a week. What’d Caffrey ever do to you?”
“That’s a secret I will take to my grave. To my grave!”
“Think he’d like to try climbing the Grand Canyon with me?”
***
“Barton, your report-“
“Completely accurate, sir.”
“You saw video evidence that-“
“Looked legit to me, boss. Was the information they gave us on Morgan was on the level?”
“Yes, it was very thorough. You know these remind me of that-“
“Place in Nha Trang? Me, too.”
-END-
Prompt: In hindsight, that bet was a poor life choice.
Author : ladyyueh
Fandoms: White Collar/Leverage, Leverage/Avengers
Characters Neal Caffrey, Mozzie; Parker, Alec Hardison, Eliot Spencer; Clint Barton, Phil Coulson.
Pairings: None
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 1600
Spoilers: White Collar: Pre-season 1. Leverage: Up to Season 5. Avengers: Pre-canon.
Warnings: None.
Disclaimer: White Collar, Leverage, and The Avengers belong to their respective creators.
A/N: Some art and building references. Google is your friend. There was so much research for this, even if it doesn’t show it. And I only got lost to tvtropes twice! That’s an accomplishment. I hope kerrykhat enjoys this. Thanks so much to my beta, viresse12 who dealt with my whining.
Summary: “Never bet against Parker.” Two of many examples which prove that it is never advisable to make bets against Parker.
---
There were many things that Hardison had learned since starting to crusade for the underdog. A lot of them had to do with running some awesome cons and becoming a master forger, but some of the most important ones were just plain common sense.
One: Never be in the same room while Eliot trained Parker. Neither of them had any compunction about practicing their moves on innocent hackers.
Two: If you want Eliot to feed you, be the first to set the table. When Parker beats you to that, wash the dishes.
Three (a): You will always do what Sophie wants. Three (b): Never let Sophie’s tea stash run low. Ever.
Four: Batman and Xanatos had nothing on Nate.
And the fifth and most important: Never bet against Parker.
---
Neal loved France, but he had a relation amour-haine with Paris. Gorgeous buildings, a decadence of wine and chocolate, and-most important-a veritable hoard of priceless art all conveniently gathered in one city for optimal viewing pleasure.
Also, the croissants were worth paying for.
On the other hand: tourists.
When he got tired of avoiding another American that was more interested in listening to the insipid pieces of information his audio-guide fed him rather than actually looking at and being moved by a piece of art and when the slight amusement he gained from leading anyone who asked for directions as far away from La Joconde as possible turned into annoyance, he made his way to the 16th arrondissement. The Musée Marmottan Monet had some very choice pieces, more true art lovers, and posed a different challenge for a thief.
He had another day before he had to make his way to Switzerland to stay ahead of Interpol and he owed Peter a postcard. Maybe something from the Morisot collection?
Impression, soleil levant, would just be too mainstream.
***
Few changes had been made to the security since he’d last visited and while most visitors were drawn to les nymphéas he decided to spend time with Le train dans la neige. La locomotive.
A pretty blonde was in the best spot, but he didn’t let that deter him. He sidled just a bit closer to her than was polite and was ready with a charming opening.
She beat him to it. “They haven't changed the security since the last time I was here. The same number of guards and cameras. Even the same sensors on the frames,” she said with a bland American accent.
“Do you work in security, miss?”
Her smile was less smile and more challenge. “In retrieval, mostly. I’m Parker.”
He knew that name. Any thief, forger, or grafter worth their salt knew that name. “The Parker? Well, it’s a genuine pleasure. I’m Neal Caffrey.”
“I know,” Parker said bluntly.
“I’ve followed some of your work. I’m a bit of a fan,” Neal said. “Has this piece caught your interest? I’ve always enjoyed it. It’s very serene.”
“Never seen it before.” Parker’s brow was slightly furrowed before it cleared into an expression of satisfaction. “Midnight.”
“I’m sorry?” Neal asked politely.
“All I need is fifteen minutes and it’d be gone before midnight,” Parker said.
Neal arched an eyebrow. “That would be impressive,” he said in a bland tone.
“Can you do better?” Parker challenged.
“Maybe. Care to make a wager?” Neal smiled winsomely.
***
“So, who won?” Mozzie asked as he poured himself the last of the wine.
“Technically, me. But she got the rainy day stash I had in Paris so she definitely got the better end of that deal.”
“Oh, no. Not the Gauguin.”
“I’m afraid so. Also, a nice amount of uncut diamonds.”
“Well, as you know, there is no honor among thieves.”
“Yeah, learned my lesson, Moz.”
“At least you met her before she started running with Ford’s crew.”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Everyone had their niche. Coulson, he was best on the ground; seen, but completely invisible. He lived in people’s blind spots. Tasha, she’d stab you in the back to your face. You’d be so busy being blinded by just looking at her that you wouldn’t even mind when she got one over on you because you wouldn’t even realize that she had.
Clint had a thing for heights. Understandable. It was easier to rid himself of problems that cropped up if he had the higher ground.
Everyone had made at least one joke or sarcastic remark about his tendency for elevation. The first one was free, but after that Clint found a perch and used a laser pointer to provide them with an object lesson.
Suffice to say, Clint was happier the higher he was. Portland didn’t exactly inspire awe, but his impromptu nest atop Wells Fargo Tower was serviceable.
“What can you see, Barton?” Coulson’s voice was always a welcome thing. Well, unless Clint was getting-yet another-reprimand.
“Target’s still in his office, Boss. Am I actually going to see any action tonight?”
As usual, Coulson ignored the insubordination. “Doubtful. I’m en route to apprehend.”
Clint wasn’t in the mood to complain. He watched Coulson perform a smooth and calculated takedown. Their job was done.
“You up for dinner?” Clint asked as wiped all traces of his presence from the roof.
“I’ve got reports and an evening teleconference. I won’t be able to bail you out tonight so stay out of trouble,” Coulson warned.
“You know me, Boss.”
“That’s exactly the problem, Barton.”
***
The brewpub he ended up in had the best bánh mì he’d ever tasted outside of Vietnam. He was definitely going to take a couple to go. Coulson would enjoy them and that might give him enough points to wriggle free of some paper work.
He noticed the blonde that had taken a seat next to him, but didn’t notice her until she turned and asked, “What’s the highest thing you’ve climbed and/or jumped off?”
Clint smiled as he assessed her. “Do you ask everyone this or is it some kind of new pickup line I’m just not getting?”
She shook her head, not the least bit affected by his flirtation. “You like to climb. I can tell. I jumped off Sears Tower when it still was Sears Tower,” she confided.
“Bullshit,” Clint said. “You would have been all over the news.”
“No one saw me do it,” she told him like it should be obvious.
“Let’s say I believe you-“
She interrupted him. “You were in my spot this week. I do Wells Fargo when I’m bored.”
Well, damn. Was he blown? Crap, he couldn’t exactly fight his way out of a brewpub in Portland. Tasha would never let him hear the end of it.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Clint said.
She huffed. “I’m a thief and I bet my list is better than yours.”
Clint was a moron because he’d been too focused on her and not on the vaguely familiar heavy that’d been eyeing him from the kitchen. Suddenly, his bánh mì wasn’t sitting so well.
She was chewing when he looked back at her. It was his sandwich she was eating. He hadn’t even noticed the swipe. She was better than good.
At least he wasn’t poisoned.
“And if I take your bet? What do I get?” Clint had always been competitive and he was much more comfortable now that he knew he was dealing with a thief. Thievery he knew and understood.
She grinned. “If you win, you get sandwiches to go and I’ll give you the info that you missed about Morgan’s dirty dealings. When I win, you get the information and you give me an archery lesson. You first.”
Clint thought about it. She’d opened with the Sears Tower. Had she used her best jump to psych him out? “You ever jumped Petronas?”
“Off of and between the two towers. First time I tried to tightrope across and only made it about half-way before I slipped and just had to climb across the rest of the way.”
Clint had the sinking feeling that he was about to lose the bet.
***
“Oh come on! You did not BASE jump from the roof of Burj Khalifa. I need video evidence of this.”
“Is this proof enough?”
“How is this not all over YouTube? Holy shit.”
“I know a good hacker.”
“Woman, forget archery lessons we have to go climb a very tall building.”
“Archery lessons first, Hawkguy.”
***
Hardison watched the slightly buzzed SHIELD agent leave the bar with a tiny bit of sympathy. “You brutalized him, girl.”
Parker looked like the cat that got the whole damned menagerie. “Yup,” she said with pride.
“He wasn’t bad,” Eliot offered.
“Seriously? The man was like the Green Arrow, but better,” Hardison said. The impromptu archery lesson had been informative-and Hardison was trying not to remember the particular expression on Parker’s face that meant sharp and pointy trouble for him-but it was when Barton had decided to show off that the show had really started. The man had skills. Hardison would like to see him go head to head with Legolas.
“You know this is why I don’t bet with her, right?”
“Hardison, it’s why none of us bet with her.”
“Did she tell you about the time with Caffrey-”
“In Paris? With the diamonds? Yeah, you couldn’t shut up about that for a week. What’d Caffrey ever do to you?”
“That’s a secret I will take to my grave. To my grave!”
“Think he’d like to try climbing the Grand Canyon with me?”
***
“Barton, your report-“
“Completely accurate, sir.”
“You saw video evidence that-“
“Looked legit to me, boss. Was the information they gave us on Morgan was on the level?”
“Yes, it was very thorough. You know these remind me of that-“
“Place in Nha Trang? Me, too.”
-END-
Prompt: In hindsight, that bet was a poor life choice.