my aunt

[xosweetkisses29]

sooo my aunt passed away friday. so now its just my uncle and their 5 year old son. its only been 2 days and i already miss her... i thought i'd said everything i wanted to say i mean i said i loved her and that i would miss her i sang for her(it was her favorite) and i gave her lots of hugs and kisses! i mean i was positive that was all i wanted to say... but theres soo much i wish i would have said and would have asked her i have a bunch of questions! and there are soo many things im going to miss... like going up to visit and going shopping. she was the best shopper i've ever known. she knew just where to go for everything. she knew where all the best prices were she found all the cool stuff you didnt even know was being sold. im gonna miss her begging me to sing, im gonna miss just helping her out with stuff, im gonna miss talking to her, and going out to dinner with her, and im gonna miss her hugs, and HER!!!!!!! i wish i would have asked her if there was anything she wanted me to do for her in my life... she told me she wanted to keep singing to ppl and to not be afraid or shy just sing my little heart out soo thats inspired me to make something of myself! but other than that i dont really know theres so much stuff i wish i would have sad and now that shes gone i cant get answers... today my sister wrote her a postcard and tied it to a balloon and sent it to heaven and we all signed our names and gave it a kiss and sent it up and... my dad started to cry... i felt sooo bad!!! seeing a grown man cry is like the saddest thing ever!!!! i got tears in my eyes and then ran after the balloon so he wouldn't see me cry. the balloon got stuck in a palm tree which really upset me!!! the funeral is on saturday and i dont want to go but at the same time i do. on sunday we're going out on the boat my uncle and cousin bought just before she passed away... she saw it they named it miss bethie and were going to go out sunday to spread her ashes... i dont want to touch them... im scared! i didn't realize how hard this was going to be. i've known for a while she was going to pass away eventually b/c her cancer was the worst and no doctor knew wut to do... but you cant prepare for something like this... she was at sloan ketterling in NYC for nine months part of the time i was at camp and then she was at moffit in tampa by her house kinda and then they tried mixing chemo and none of it worked... i felt horrible b/c she suffered a lot! my mom and dad had to tell my cousin the bad news about when she passed away and they sad he didn't really cry they said he told them to put him down and then he looked up at the sky and said its ok look my mommy is flying around up there in heaven!!! my dad lost his brother when he was little and now his sister. well all i guess i have left to say is that i hope my aunt is doing amazing up in heaven getting to be with her brother and my uncles parents and all then other friends that she knows up there! i wish her the best and LOVE and MISS her SOOOOOOOOOOOO much!
im sorry if this upset anyone. it wasn't intentional i just needed to get this out somewhere

xoxo
<3 always,
katelyn