its amazing how things change...
HMM...where should i start... well last monday cj and i broke up (whats new) i was juss soo tired up his stupid ass games and all the other shyt he brings upon me and i was "done" so i called him and the biggest bytch came out in me. i was like wtf ive been down as fuck and this is what i get blah blah blah so i told him i was done and we sorta talked for the next few days but then cut it all of for almost a week. then i met this guy juan and me him meredith and carlos went out to the beach friday nite. it was nice. and i kinda liked juan n all but when i thought about the whole situation later on i juss wasnt feelin it. then i went back to merediths and sat we went tannin then she took me home.
sat i didnt do much i went up to san souci for my brothers bball game and ended up hangin out w/nicole the whole time. i kinda wanted to go out but i really wasnt up for anything and i didnt wanna see somebody. so i stayed home and did some things i needed to do
sun- well that morning i got a very unexpected phone call. it was cj i was surprised but still had a gut feeling he would call sooner or later. so we talked for a while and he said everyone was tellin him last nite how i was talkin to sum guy. so i told him everything about us kissin and goin out and stuff. he was upset but hey i really didnt (dont) care. i was tryin to move on and i thought i was somewhat doin a good job. he said it felt like a slap in the face (which told me i was doin sumthin rite) then he came over before he had to go to work and something inside juss kinda told me i was "OK" i dunno it was the weirdest feeling in the world. and although it had only been 12 days since i had seen him it felt very different. it was like the feeling when u see the guy u like walkin up to u in the hallway and u juss get this unexplainable feeling inside of you and u feel as if u juss swallowed a 1000 butterflies and there all flying around in ur stomach. then while he was here juan called and he answered the phone then i talked to him and he asked me what i was doin and i said tryin to work things out with cj and he hung up. so later on i called him back cuz meredith said he was really upset and i explained everything to him. i was like ok maybe im dumb but i cant help it and i prolly can in many ways but i realized im no where over cj and im in love with this guy and i cant let a year and a half go down the drown for someone ive known for 2 days and he was like ok... well all i want is u to be happy u dont have to be with me juss dont be with him and i was like well im not with him and i prolly wont actually be "with him" for quite sometime becuz i told him he has a lot to do and he said hed do w/e it took to meet my requirements... so he prolly hates me now... but wat can i do. i can only please so many while at the same time tryin to make myself happy.
well im sick and im stayin home today so i think im gonna go lay down...
<333
Me XOXOXOXO
sat i didnt do much i went up to san souci for my brothers bball game and ended up hangin out w/nicole the whole time. i kinda wanted to go out but i really wasnt up for anything and i didnt wanna see somebody. so i stayed home and did some things i needed to do
sun- well that morning i got a very unexpected phone call. it was cj i was surprised but still had a gut feeling he would call sooner or later. so we talked for a while and he said everyone was tellin him last nite how i was talkin to sum guy. so i told him everything about us kissin and goin out and stuff. he was upset but hey i really didnt (dont) care. i was tryin to move on and i thought i was somewhat doin a good job. he said it felt like a slap in the face (which told me i was doin sumthin rite) then he came over before he had to go to work and something inside juss kinda told me i was "OK" i dunno it was the weirdest feeling in the world. and although it had only been 12 days since i had seen him it felt very different. it was like the feeling when u see the guy u like walkin up to u in the hallway and u juss get this unexplainable feeling inside of you and u feel as if u juss swallowed a 1000 butterflies and there all flying around in ur stomach. then while he was here juan called and he answered the phone then i talked to him and he asked me what i was doin and i said tryin to work things out with cj and he hung up. so later on i called him back cuz meredith said he was really upset and i explained everything to him. i was like ok maybe im dumb but i cant help it and i prolly can in many ways but i realized im no where over cj and im in love with this guy and i cant let a year and a half go down the drown for someone ive known for 2 days and he was like ok... well all i want is u to be happy u dont have to be with me juss dont be with him and i was like well im not with him and i prolly wont actually be "with him" for quite sometime becuz i told him he has a lot to do and he said hed do w/e it took to meet my requirements... so he prolly hates me now... but wat can i do. i can only please so many while at the same time tryin to make myself happy.
well im sick and im stayin home today so i think im gonna go lay down...
<333
Me XOXOXOXO