Its been a while...
well its been a while since ive been on here so ill update a lil...
not much has been goin on lately i s'pose at least nuthin worth writin about. my life is at a stand still rite now. i dont know what i want but yet i know what i need. ive let myself down so much in the past month to the point where i feel i dont have much control over my will power. and it sux cuz ive never been this deep in sumthin to the point where i cant get up or maybe its a mind Over Matter kinda thang. Who knows... hopefully things will work out for the best im juss startin to see things in different ways! but then in other ways i think i know what i want but in the same breath i can say i dont. UGH this sux! i dont know What to do actually.
if the truth be known i really dont think i even know who i am anymore. and thats sumthin thats really bothering me its like when i think about a topic i have so many points in my mind and there all coming from different sides therefore i feel like i dont even have my own say so nor opinion on anything so i feel like i dont (cant) even stick up for what i believe in because i dont even know. and thats sad. so i think i really wanna start gettin out and doin things TO find the Real Me.
lately ive been thinkin money and clothes and all that materialistic stuff can buy happiness. i cannot even begin to say how much money ive spent in the 3 wks on clothes and shoes and all that other stuff that i could do without. and maybe for the first week i was feelin high on highest delights Untill i realized im still not truely happy and i have most def realied now that Money Can NOT buy happiness and its weird bcuz u would think it could buy everything bcuz when u get something it juss makes u so happy and feel so good but the feeling is very over rated but i guess its good it happened bcuz i can now see WHY i am unhappy and although i might need to break apart from a HUGE part of my life if thats what it takes for ME to be happy then thats ALL i care about at this point.
on to a better note...
- this easter w/e has been pretty good i went to my gmas in st augustine and family came from TN it was fun she lives rite on the beach so i got sum sun which is always a + then went back to my dads then came home sunday. and my mom had been outta town since thurs in orlando so when we both got home we found our little puupy half dead in the back yard so we had to rush him to the emergency clinic it was so sad. they said hes really sick and had sumthin in his intestines so we had to leave him there over nite and pick him up this morning If he made it which he DID :) so we took him to his vet this moring and we have to go pick him up later. so i was happy that turned out well.
well i think im gonna go back to bed.
XoXo
not much has been goin on lately i s'pose at least nuthin worth writin about. my life is at a stand still rite now. i dont know what i want but yet i know what i need. ive let myself down so much in the past month to the point where i feel i dont have much control over my will power. and it sux cuz ive never been this deep in sumthin to the point where i cant get up or maybe its a mind Over Matter kinda thang. Who knows... hopefully things will work out for the best im juss startin to see things in different ways! but then in other ways i think i know what i want but in the same breath i can say i dont. UGH this sux! i dont know What to do actually.
if the truth be known i really dont think i even know who i am anymore. and thats sumthin thats really bothering me its like when i think about a topic i have so many points in my mind and there all coming from different sides therefore i feel like i dont even have my own say so nor opinion on anything so i feel like i dont (cant) even stick up for what i believe in because i dont even know. and thats sad. so i think i really wanna start gettin out and doin things TO find the Real Me.
lately ive been thinkin money and clothes and all that materialistic stuff can buy happiness. i cannot even begin to say how much money ive spent in the 3 wks on clothes and shoes and all that other stuff that i could do without. and maybe for the first week i was feelin high on highest delights Untill i realized im still not truely happy and i have most def realied now that Money Can NOT buy happiness and its weird bcuz u would think it could buy everything bcuz when u get something it juss makes u so happy and feel so good but the feeling is very over rated but i guess its good it happened bcuz i can now see WHY i am unhappy and although i might need to break apart from a HUGE part of my life if thats what it takes for ME to be happy then thats ALL i care about at this point.
on to a better note...
- this easter w/e has been pretty good i went to my gmas in st augustine and family came from TN it was fun she lives rite on the beach so i got sum sun which is always a + then went back to my dads then came home sunday. and my mom had been outta town since thurs in orlando so when we both got home we found our little puupy half dead in the back yard so we had to rush him to the emergency clinic it was so sad. they said hes really sick and had sumthin in his intestines so we had to leave him there over nite and pick him up this morning If he made it which he DID :) so we took him to his vet this moring and we have to go pick him up later. so i was happy that turned out well.
well i think im gonna go back to bed.
XoXo