(no subject)
wadup hoes. living up at my dads has definitly altered my way of life. You'd think it'd be a turn for the wrose, when in fact it was most definitly a turn for the better. when i came back home to Detroit, to my moms house, she was telling me how she noticed a change as well.. i am more responsible.. still not quite where i would like to be, but more than i was. I have more respect for other people. which is definitly better. However i have been lacking respect for myself...
I dont know why i am the way i am. I Always seem to look down on myself.. not only in a physical way but in an emotional way as well. I seem to have trouble axcepting myself. I think im afriad of how other people might react to who i am. the real me. nobody knows the real me. not even my best friend Jessica. i myself dont even know the real me. I think thats why things get so complicated.
I always wonder what life would be like if i was someone else. I mean i know everybody thinks that sometimes.. but i think about it constantly. I always find myself telling, myself how unhappy i am with who i am and how no matter how hard i try to change, i always fall back to this place. not purposly, it just happens. I can never make up my mind of the type of person i would like to be. and all i think about is who others want me to be and what others see of me. When i should be worrying about just who i am . not what other people want me to be.
my mind gets so cluttered with thoughts about others opinions, and what i want to be, rather than living in the present. who i am right now.
another thing.. regrets. Why spend so much time living in the past and feeling bad or sorry for yourself. Just forget about it, its in the past and there is nothing you can do about it . I mean sure, some decisions can affect the rest of your life and your past makes you who you are today, but you can always change the outcome. you have the control. Nobody can make you do anything.. and nobody can tell you who to be. its up to you. I wish i would have realized all this stuff sooner. i think im just going to write down all my regrets and burn them maybe that will get alot off my chest
I dont know why i am the way i am. I Always seem to look down on myself.. not only in a physical way but in an emotional way as well. I seem to have trouble axcepting myself. I think im afriad of how other people might react to who i am. the real me. nobody knows the real me. not even my best friend Jessica. i myself dont even know the real me. I think thats why things get so complicated.
I always wonder what life would be like if i was someone else. I mean i know everybody thinks that sometimes.. but i think about it constantly. I always find myself telling, myself how unhappy i am with who i am and how no matter how hard i try to change, i always fall back to this place. not purposly, it just happens. I can never make up my mind of the type of person i would like to be. and all i think about is who others want me to be and what others see of me. When i should be worrying about just who i am . not what other people want me to be.
my mind gets so cluttered with thoughts about others opinions, and what i want to be, rather than living in the present. who i am right now.
another thing.. regrets. Why spend so much time living in the past and feeling bad or sorry for yourself. Just forget about it, its in the past and there is nothing you can do about it . I mean sure, some decisions can affect the rest of your life and your past makes you who you are today, but you can always change the outcome. you have the control. Nobody can make you do anything.. and nobody can tell you who to be. its up to you. I wish i would have realized all this stuff sooner. i think im just going to write down all my regrets and burn them maybe that will get alot off my chest