For You:
im lying in my bed tryin to fall asleep. Im looking around my room and all I can do is cry. Wat would life be like without you? Ive wanted you in my life every day since last Novemeber when I told you I loved you. I still want you in my life, but nothing seems to be changing. Sure she is slowly disappearing but another girl is appearing. I see your lips touch and my heart drops. All I feel is anger for all the chances I have given you. Every time I let my guard down you took advantage and I felt like you attacked me. Every time I trusted you, you betrayed me. Whether it was that Sunday getting your hair done up, or telling me there was nothing going on with you and the minor. We started over, or at least I did, but maybe it was a chance to start your lies over? Your dad emailed me today, “hey daughter”- what do I say to that? Do I respond? Im sitting next to a bunched up pillow, the same pillow you folded in half yesterday while sleeping in my bed, that you tuck under your head and over your arm while holding me in the other arm. Im laying underneath what you like to call “you blanket” I can smell you, I can feel you. And I just continue to cry. Because life without you would probably be the hardest thing in the world, just looking around my room. I wake up and see the roses you have given me, the note on my white board, “good morning sexy how was your sleep? You look gorgeous today, love you, rob” The picture next to my bed of you and Justin, the pictures on my wall of me and you, you and dave, you and steve, and you in sean. The CD in my CD player is yours. My prom dress hanging on my door, the prom picture on my desk, The picture you drew for me next to my bed, “im here for you for now and forever, to hold you with love as we’re together” What about the sweatpants I’m wearing that you bought for me, or my empty finger, because of the ring I gave back to you last night. Or the pictures of us in the little booth at the beach, the letters you sent me from Oklahoma, my fish tank. The teddy bear stuffed animal dressed up as a devil you just bought me last week. The picture you drew which is tattooed on my body. Everything I see, I think of you, I feel you, I breathe you. You are my world. And last night I saw my world came crashing down.