RoAR
so yeah, im supposed to be doing this stupid fucking florida virtual school shit... and im not doing it and i need to have like so much shit done by midnite tomorrow, and im going to the beach 2morrow too so im going to stall more and write in my motherfucking journal! i have the worst luck with guys, i swear to god. i should be in the motherfucking world record book for how many god damn little boys have fucked me over. im so sick of it- i am to the point where all my weekends are full of getting fucked up and forgetting my god damn forsaken own name. it sucks, it really does- and im tired of it. i just need someone to be there for me, and im sick and tired of believing he's out there and never finding him. yeah, im 15- but my life has been hell.. and i just wish one god damn GOOD THING could happen to me. im not trying to bitch or anything- i just need to get this shit out. I have been fucked over royally over and over and over and fucking over again and im tired of it. I want to seriously lock myself in a room and stay away from the world for the rest of my life. Don't get me wrong, im lucky to live in a house and not on the street and have a mom that buys me shit and things that make me happy but i cant live like this anymore. I dont think anyone really fucking knows shit about me, the only person who knows everything is Emerald and i love that girl to death<333 but our stupid selves got caught sneaking our friends n beer up in her room so we're like not fucking allowed to be around each other : ( i just feel like i fuck everything up. me and kaka can't be around each other either (altho im goin to the beach with her 2morrow cuz her papa loves us) and her mom was like oh liz is a dumb blonde and a slut and YADA YADA YADA. im so sick and tired of people saying that shit about me, im really fucking smart believe it or not- im just fucking lazy. The whole "slut" thing i dont even want to get started on that, if you know me you know about it and if you don't call me whatever the fuck you want to call me- knock urself out, i dont fucking care anymore. yesterday was crazy, today has been crazy... life has been crazy and i dont know what to do with myself anymore. last nite i got so WaSTED i fuckin threw up... r0ar- i dont even know anymore, i really don't. . . i guess i should go get this school shit done \ : maybe ill update another day when im not bitching... (???) im sunburnt cuz me n ashley layed out all day today, maybe thats why im cranky.. who knows? ok, bye<3